Communication Behaviour

A variety of ways of behaving when we

communicate with others

Appropriate choice of behaviour vitally

important to communicate effectively 
 Types of Behaviours

1.Aggressive
2.Submissive
3.Avoidance
4.Assertive
 1. Aggressive behaviour
  I win you lose
• offends/isolates someone else’s rights 

• showing, perhaps both physically and

verbally, of anger or dominance

• an automatic or a one-off reaction to a

particularly sensitive or threatening
situation 
 1. Aggressive Behaviour
I win you lose
Aggression can sometimes be
1. an expression of fear,
2. lack of self-esteem, or
3. inability to control a situation in any other
way.  

Aggression places the rights of the aggressor

above the rights of the other party and avoids
responsibility.
2. Submissive Behaviour
I lose you win

Lets you reduce anxiety, guilt or fear by letting

your views or thoughts be misinterpreted,
ignored or
lets you be taken advantage of

instilled in us from parents, schools and

hierarchical organisations
 2. Submissive Behaviour
I lose you win

Submissive behaviour is often shown in

1. not wanting to say “no” to unreasonable requests,
2. not wanting to draw attention to yourself,
3. a belief that you are not as good as others,
4. wanting to appear polite and helpful in an
excessive way, or
5. wanting to avoid a ‘scene’.  

Submissive behaviour often leads to a build-up of

resentment which can show itself in loss of self-
esteem or an eventual aggressive outburst.
3. Avoidance behaviour
I lose you lose

Avoiding uncomfortable situations, either through

refusal to recognise the problem or by
deliberately side stepping confrontational
situations.

Ignores the isolation of rights and responsibilities

through fear of the consequences or because you
don’t wish to be bothered with the consequences  
 3. Avoidance Behaviour
I lose you lose

Sometimes used to evade any confrontation.   

Avoidance can be displayed in many ways -

1. refusing to get a diagnostic test,
2. not answering the phone to certain people, or
3. avoiding socialising in a certain place.  
 4. Assertive Behaviour
I win you win
1. Stating your own feelings whilst acknowledging the other
person’s point of view

2. Mutual acceptance of each other’s position

 
3. Being clear and steady, standing up for your rights
and beliefs, whilst looking for ways to resolve possible
problems.

4. Protecting your space and rights whilst not isolating

the other person’s rights or space.  

5. Honest, direct and appropriate expression of needs,

wants or feelings as a first, not a last resort
Win-Win Situation

Assertive behaviour is often thought of as a

Win-Win situation where both parties benefit

It may not be that assertive behaviour lets you ‘get

your own way’ - often a workable compromise is the
best solution which gains the acceptance of both
parties.
.
 Identify the behavior
? 
• "I don't know how you've got the nerve to give me this
sort of stuff for signing.  It's full of mistakes."

?
• " I'd like you to re-do this document as there are several
mistakes in it."

?
• "I know it's, er .... probably my fault in .... not writing very
clearly, but is there, um .... any chance at all you could
find a spare minute to um .... just change one of two small
things on this letter for me?“ Or you find an excuse not to
take the document back at all.
 ?

• "If people produce rubbish, I have

every right to tell them so."

• "She obviously doesn't care.  That's

typical of young people today."

• "This reflects badly on me, and I

won't stand it.”
 ?

• "This may be uncomfortable for us both, but we can

handle it.“

• "She has the right to make mistakes, but the

responsibility to correct them."

• "I want her to know the effect her errors have on

other people.“
 ?

• "I don't want to make a scene or upset our working

relationship.”

• "I'm sure these are unintentional errors - I'll let it

go this time."

• "I know she's very busy, that's why these mistakes

happened."
• You may be involved with meetings, team
briefings, interviews, checking,
counselling, advocating, reviewing,
delegating, planning, scheduling,
resolving conflicts, gaining co-operation
of others, problem solving, and decision
making, maintaining standards or setting
targets.  

• All of these activities are based around

establishing and maintaining good methods of
communication.