THE SELF IN COMMUNICATION

(PENAMPILAN KENDIRI, KONSEP KENDIRI, DAN PENDEDAHAN KENDIRI)

4 ASPECTS OF THE SELF

1. 2. 3. 4.

Self-Concept Self-Awareness Self-Esteem Self-Disclosure

1.


Self-Concept

The image of who you are;  Its how you perceive yourself; your feelings and thoughts about your strengths, weaknesses, abilities and limitations.  Sources of self-concept: Others image of you ; How do significant others see me ? Social comparisons you make between yourself and others; How do I compare to my peers? Cultural teachings ; How do I fulfill the teachings of my culture? Your evaluation anfd interpretation : How do I evaluate my own feelings and behaviors?

2.

Self-Awareness

The Four Selves in the Johari Window

i.

Open Self  Information, behaviors, attitudes, feelings, desires, motivations, ideas, etc. that you know about yourself and that others also know.  Your open self will vary in size depending on the individuals with whom you are dealing.  The size of the open self varies from person to person. The Blind Self  Information about yourself that others know but you dont.  Eg. Body odour, habit of scratching your nose, etc.

ii.

iii.

The Unknown Self  the part of yourself in which you and the others do not know  this is probably because you and the others are unconscious or unnoticed about it. The Hidden Self  information about yourself that you know but keep it as a secret from other people  3 types of people based on how much they disclose about themselves:  Overdisclosers  Underdisclosers  Selective disclosers

iv.

How to increase your self-awareness?

i.

ii.

iii. iv.

v.

Dialogue with Yourself  List out your own qualities (both positive and negative), you perceived strengths and weaknesses, your attitudes, etc. Listen  Listen other peoples opinions about you and look at how they react / treat you Reduce Your Blind Self  Ask people about what they think of you that you dont know See Your Different Selves  You behave differently to different people therefore their judgments on you also vary depending on how you treat them  To learn more about yourself try to see yourself through the eyes of many people Increase Your Open Self  You would learn more about yourself by revealing more to others  It is also an opportunity to develop a close and meaningful relationship with others if you disclose yourself to them

3. Self-Esteem
Personal self-esteem refers to the way you feel about yourself  It reflects the value you place on yourself  Group self-esteem refers to your evaluation of your being a member of a particular racial or ethnic group  Group self-esteem affects your personal self-esteem.


 If you view the group in which you belong positively, you are more likely to view yourself positively. Vice versa.


Why is self-esteem important?

 Success breeds success.  Positive self-esteem makes a person more productive and ultimately more successful in life, in relationships, in career, etc.

How to boost up your self-esteem?

Attack your Self-Destructive Beliefs self-destructive beliefs are those things that you believe damage your self-esteem and prevent you from building meaningful and productive relationships eg. Saying: I am stupid, hopeless, boring, etc. One way to attack self-destructive beliefs is by identifying the drivers  Engage in Self-Affirmation remind yourself of your successes from time to time focus on your good deeds, strengths, and positive qualities look at the good relationships you have with friends or relatives concentrate on your potentials not limitations


Seek Out Nurturing People make friends with those who are optimistic, supportive and make you feel good about yourself. Avoid those who find fault about everything Remember that you cannot please everyone and you do not have to be loved by everyone  Work on Projects that will result in success success builds self-esteem it motivates you to work on the next projects but remember that failure is normal and failure on a project does not mean failure as a person


4. Self-Disclosure

Self-Disclosure is communication in which you reveal information about yourself  It includes your overt statements, slips of the tongue, or unconscious nonverbal signals.  It concerns your personal feelings, thoughts, behaviors.


Factors influencing self-disclosure:



Group Size self-disclosure occurs more in small groups than in large groups (especially in a group of two persons) reasons: with one listener you can attend carefully to the persons responses. You could continue to self-disclose if you feel that the other person is supportive. Liking you are more likely to disclose to people you like and you trust Receiver Relationship you are more likely to disclose yourself in: temporary rather than permanent relationships competitive rather than noncompetitive relationships in-group members rather than non-group members

Age you are more likely to disclose to people who are about the same age as you Competence competent communicators reveal about themselves more than less competent communicators maybe because they have more self-confidence or they have more positive things to say about themselves Personality highly sociable and extroverted people self-disclose more than those who are less sociable and more introverted. Those with high self-esteem self-disclose more than those with low self-esteem Topics the more personal and the more negative the topic, the less likely you are to self-disclose

Culture different cultures view self-disclosure differently. Some cultures may regard secrecy as very important Eg. Americans self-disclose more than Middle Easterns Gender gender plays a role in how much you self-disclose for eg. researches showed : men disclose less than women sex role rather than biological gender accounts for the differences in self-closure

Think before you self-disclose



Weigh the rewards and dangers of it carefully



Rewards of self-disclosure:  Understanding of Own Behavior  Coping Abilities  Improve Communication  Establishing a Meaningful Relationship Dangers of self-disclosure:  Personal or social rejection  Material losses  Intrapersonal Difficulties

Remember, not all societies and cultures view self-disclosure in the same way
 Examine the specific culture and its rules.  Following them brings approval and violating them brings disapproval.

Remember that self-disclosure is irreversible

 You cant take it back once you told people about yourself. They would already make a conclusion about you.

Guidelines for Self-Disclosing

Consider the motivation for self-disclosure  Consider the appropriateness of selfdisclosure


Context (time and place) and relationship between speaker and listener

Consider the disclosures of the other person  Consider the possible burdens / problems self-disclosure might entail


Guidelines for responding to selfdisclosure

   

Use effective and active listening skills Support and reinforce the discloser Maintain confidentiality Dont use the disclosures as weapons