The Basics of Effective

Interpersonal
Communication

U n iv e rsity H u m a n R e so u rce s
P ro f e s s io n a l D e v e lo p m e n t P ro g r a m
S u p p o r t in g le a d e r s h ip , in t er p e r s o n a l a n d p r o fe s s i o n a l e x c e lle n c e
 Welcome!
 This program is intended for anyone
who would like an overview of the basic
verbal and non-verbal communication
skills needed for success in the
workplace.

 The Professional Development Program

also offers classroom sessions on this
and other topics. Please visit our web
site http://uhr.rutgers.edu/profdev to enroll or
obtain more information.
 Before you begin…
 Get the most from this program by
answering these questions for yourself
before you begin. You will evaluate your
growth at the end.

 What do I already know about interpersonal

communication?
 What are my learning goals for this
program?
 What are my supervisor’s expectations, if
any, for my participation in this training?
 How do I think I will be able to apply my
 Course Content
 This online program will cover:
 What communication is
 Why and how we communicate
 Barriers to communication
 Sharing ideas
 Getting information from others
 Giving constructive feedback
 Body language

Writing materials will be useful for jotting

down your thoughts as your proceed
through the course
 Course Objectives
 The objectives of this program are
to:
 provide a basic overview of verbal
and non-verbal interpersonal
communication processes
 identify personal obstacles to
effective interpersonal
communication
 define some strategies for improving
individual and group communications
 What is communication?
 What do you think communication
is? How would you define it?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Communication
 Communication is defined as the
interchange of thoughts or opinions
through shared symbols; e.g.
language, words, phrases

 Some synonyms of the word

communication are: message, directive,
word, contact, commerce, communion,
intercommunication, intercourse;
converse, exchange, interchange,
conversing, discussing, talking;
conversation, discussion, talk, advice,
 Four facets of
communication
 Three are four facets in all types of
communication:
 Sender
 Receiver
 Information
 Behavior
 Four facets of
communication
 In any communication:
 The Sender is the person trying to
communicate a message
 The Receiver is the person at whom
the message is directed
 A message is sent to convey
information
 Information is meant to change
behavior
 Shared symbols
 Sometimes when we communicate we
assume we are using shared symbols
when we might not be

 Think about the term “asap”, “as soon

as possible”. What does it really mean?

 Think about how the meaning might

change in the situations on the next
slide…
 Shared symbols
 How might your meaning of “asap”
change in these situations?…
 Someone from another department calls. He
needs some detailed information asap; but
you are already rather busy.
 A coworker comes to you for help with an
assignment. She needs you asap; but you
have another job to finish before lunch.
 Your immediate supervisor, whom you like
to please, asks you to type a memo for her
asap; but you already have a stack of other
jobs to finish.
 Shared symbols
 Someone from another department
calls. He needs some detailed
information asap; but you are already
rather busy.

 In this situation, you might interpret

“asap” as “when I have finished all of
my own work and have a chance to
get to it. It might be tomorrow or the
next day.”
 Shared symbols
 A coworker comes to you for help
with an assignment. She needs you
asap; but you have another job to
finish before lunch.

 In this situation, you might interpret

“asap” as “after I have finished my
own work, I will help out after lunch”.
 Shared symbols
 Your immediate supervisor, whom
you like to please, asks you to type a
memo for her asap; but you already
have a stack of other jobs to finish.

 In this situation, you might interpret

“asap” as “I’ll do this now and finish
my other work afterwards”.
 Shared symbols
 In the previous examples, we’ve seen
the meaning of “asap” change from “in
a few days” to “immediately”.

 Many other words and phrases are also

vague and have different meanings for
different people.

 Shared symbols are not always

completely shared. The message
intended is not always the message
Missed communication

As the Manager As Purchasing As Marketing

Requested it. ordered it. wrote it up.

As the Art Dept. As the Supervisor What the Employee

designed it. implemented it. really wanted!
 Why do we communicate?
 What do you think?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Why we communicate
• We communicate to:
• Share our ideas and opinions
• Provide feedback to others
• Get information from others
• Gain power and influence
• Develop social relationships
• Maintain self-expression and our
culture
• and other ideas you may have
thought of
 How do we communicate?
 Think of the many ways in which
you communicate…

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
How we communicate
 We communicate and build
interpersonal relationships
through:
 Speech
 Writing
 Listening
 Non-verbal language
 Music, art, and crafts
 Choosing your medium
 Depending upon the situation, one
method of communication may be
better than another.
 In person: one-to-one
 In person: meetings, small groups
 In person: presentations, large groups
 Letter
 Memo
 Note
 Email
 Voice mail
 Choosing your medium
 To determine the best medium for
your message determine:
 What you as the sender need to
achieve
 What the receiver needs to know.
What the receiver wants to know
 How detailed, important, and or
personal the information in the
message is
 Which behavior you want to influence
and how
 Choosing your medium
 How would you communicate…
 an organizational change in your unit
 the introduction of a new employee
 a change in someone’s job duties
 a reprimand
 notice of a meeting

Take a few moments to write down some

of your thoughts…
 Choosing your medium
 The best way to communicate…
 an organizational change in your unit by
memo and small group meetings
 the introduction of a new employee by
group and one-on-one meetings
 a change in someone’s job duties by
memo and one-on-one meeting
 a reprimand in a one-on-one private
meeting
 notice of a meeting by memo and email
 Barriers to communication
 What are barriers to
communication that exist in any
work setting?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Barriers to communication
 Some common barriers to interpersonal
communication include:
 Unclear process: The receiver and sender may not
share the same language, slang, jargon, vocabulary,
symbols
 Chain of command: There may be too many layers
that a message passes through between sender and
receiver
 Large size of an organization, geographic
distance: Large numbers of receivers require good
message sending methods
 Personal limitations: Physical and mental
disabilities, and differences in intelligence and education
may interfere with mutual understanding
 Barriers to communication
 Additional common barriers to
interpersonal communication
include:
 Human nature: Peoples’ egos, prejudices, and
traditions can get in the way
 Conflicting feelings, goals, opinions: If
people feel on opposite sides of an issue they may not
share
 Power: The idea that knowledge is power can lead to
information hoarding

 and other ideas you may have thought of

 Sharing your ideas
 Why and when is it necessary to
share your ideas?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Share your ideas to…
 State an opinion or position
 Give instructions or directions
 Announce a change
 Make presentations
 Participate in meetings
 Give information in emergencies
 Communicate the organizational
mission, vision, and values
 and other ideas you may have thought
of
 Obstacles to sharing ideas
 What can make sharing ideas
difficult?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Obstacles to sharing
ideas…
 Your own shyness
 Fear of rejection
 Peer pressure
 Unorganized thinking
 Others possibly becoming defensive
 Physical disabilities (impaired sight, hearing,
speech)
 Having to deal with aggressive people
 and others you may have thought of
 Speak for yourself…
 To ensure your messages are
clear, speak for yourself, not for
others:
 Speaking for yourself sounds like:
 I, me, my…

I think, I feel, I want to know that…
 Speaking for no one sounds like:
 It, some people, everyone, they
decided…
 Speaking for others sounds like:
 SHARE your ideas – a
model
 State the main point of your
message
 Highlight other important points
 Assure the receiver’s
understanding
 React to how the receiver
responds
 Emphasize/summarize your main
SHARE – an example
State the main point of your message
“I’d like to talk to you about the new employee welcome
program”.
Highlight other important points
“We need to discuss the new schedule, locations, and
presenters”.
Assure the receiver’s understanding
“Do you need me to further clarify how we are making
invitations”?
React to how the receiver responds
“I understand your concern about parking”.
Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
“To wrap-up, I’ll develop the schedule and make the room
reservations, if you can line up the guest speakers”.
 Getting good information
 Why is it necessary to get good
information from others?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Get good information to…
 Find out facts and details
 Get directions or instructions
 Try to understand another’s point of
view
 Help someone solve a problem
 Resolve a team conflict
 Solve work problems
 and other ideas you may have
 Obstacles to getting good
information
 What can make getting good
information difficult?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Obstacles to getting good
information
 Lack of trust
 Assuming you already know it all
 Jumping to conclusions
 Not valuing diverse opinions
 Weak reading skills
 Weak listening skills
 Weak questioning skills
 and other ideas you may have thought
of
The power of listening
The philosopher Epictetus stressed
the power of listening in this quote:

“Nature gave us one tongue and

two ears so we could hear twice as
much as we speak.”
 Listen actively
 Prepare to listen by focusing on the
speaker
 Control and eliminate distractions so
that you can focus on the message. Don’t
do anything else (writing, reading, email)
but listen
 Establish appropriate eye contact to
show interest
 See listening as an opportunity to get
information, share another’s views, and
broaden your own knowledge
 Listen actively
 Create a need to listen by thinking about
what you can learn from the speaker
 Set aside the time to listen so that you
won’t feel rushed or become distracted by
other responsibilities
 Don’t prejudge the message based on who
is delivering it. Focus instead on the content of
the message.
 Monitor the way you listen by asking
yourself questions such as “Did I really pay
attention or was I thinking about what I was
going to say next”? “Was there information I
missed because I allowed myself to become
distracted”?
 That’s a good question!
 Close end questions limit the answer to yes
or no
 Open end questions allow the responder
total freedom in answering
 Direct questions ask for specific information;
limit answers to brief fact statements
 Probing questions follow up other questions
to solicit additional information
 Hypothetical questions present a
theoretical situation to which receiver
responds

See examples of each on the next

Good question - examples
Close end question
“Did you attend the staff meeting this morning”?
Open end question
“What was discussed at the staff meeting this
morning”?
Direct question
“Which topics were listed on the meeting agenda”?
Probing question
“Can you tell me more about the first agenda
topic”?.
Hypothetical question
“What would you have done, if you had not had the
chance to present your idea at the meeting”?
 FOCUS on information –
a model
 Focus the discussion on the
specific information you need
 Open-end question to expand the
discussion
 Close-end question to get
specifics
 Use active listening skills to
understand what you are hearing
 Summarize and close the
discussion
FOCUS on information –
an example
Focus the discussion on the specific information you
need
“I need to ask you about the computer meeting you
attended yesterday”.
Open-end question to expand the discussion
“What kinds of decisions were made regarding expansion of
our departmental system”?
Close-end question to get specifics
“Did the committee decide to buy Dell computers”?
Use active listening skills to understand what you are
hearing
“What I think I heard you say was that the decision was
made”?
Summarize and close the discussion
“So to wrap up, the system will expand and we will be using
Dells. Thanks for keeping me up to date”.
 Giving feedback
 Why is it necessary to give
constructive feedback to others?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Give feedback when…
 Someone asks for your opinion
 Work errors occur frequently
 A coworker’s habits disturb you
 A coworker’s behavior has negative
consequences
 There are unresolved problems
 and other ideas you may have thought
of

Constructive feedback focuses on facts not

people, solving problems instead of placing
 Obstacles to giving
constructive feedback
 What makes it hard to give
constructive feedback?

Take a few moments to

write down some of
your thoughts…
 Obstacles to giving
constructive feedback
 Separating the person from the problem
 Others becoming defensive or angry
 Fear of negative consequences (especially if
the other person is a supervisor)
 Dealing with potential conflict (especially if the
other person is aggressive)
 Avoiding hurt feelings
 Preserving relationships
 Not having all the facts and jumping to
conclusions
 Choosing the right time so that the other
person is most receptive

 STATE feedback – a model
 State the constructive purpose of
your feedback
 Tell specifically what you have
observed
 Address and describe your
reactions
 Tender specific suggestions for
improvement
 Express your support and respect
for the person
STATE feedback – an
example
State the constructive purpose of your feedback
“I’d like to give you some feedback about your training style so
that your evaluations will be more positive and you will enjoy
it more”.
Tell specifically what you have observed
“I notice that you rely heavily on your notes”.
Address and describe your reactions
“I feel as though you are unsure of yourself when you read”.
Tender specific suggestions for improvement
“I can help you develop a PowerPoint presentation so that you
can use the screens as a cue instead of being tied to your
notes”.
Express your support for the person
“You know a lot about the subject. With practice you can become
a good trainer”.
 Body language
 Nonverbal communication, known as
“body language” sends strong positive
and negative signals. This is how much
it influences any message:

Words 8%
Tone of voice 34%
Non-verbal cues 58%
Message 100%
Body language includes…
 Face
 Figure
 Focus
 Territory
 Tone
 Time

Each of these is described in the following

slides…
 Body language - face
 Face includes:
 Your expressions
 Your smile or lack thereof
 Tilt of the head; e.g., if your head is
tilted to one side, it usually indicates
you are interested in what someone
is saying

What message are you sending if someone

is presenting a new idea and you are
frowning?
 Body language - figure
 Figure includes:
 Your posture
 Your demeanor and gestures
 Your clothes and accessories such as
jewelry

What message are you sending if you are

dressed casually at an important meeting?
 Body language - focus
 Focus is your eye contact with
others
 The perception of eye contact differs by
culture. For most Americans…
 Staring makes other people uncomfortable
 Lack of eye contact can make you appear
weak or not trustworthy
 Glasses may interfere or enhance eye
contact

What message are you sending if you are

looking at other things and people in a room
 Body language - territory
 Territory focuses on how you use
space. It is also called proxemics.
 The perception of territory differs by
culture. Most Americans are
comfortable with an individual space
that is about an arm’s length in
diameter

What message are you sending if you keep

moving closer to a person who is backing
away from you?
 Body language - tone
 Tone is a factor of your voice
 Pitch is the highness or lowness of
voice
 Volume is how loud your voice is
 Emphasis is your inflection

What message are you sending if during a

disagreement you start speaking very
loudly?
 Body language - time
 Time focuses on how you use
time. It is also called chronemics.
 Pace is how quickly you speak
 Response is how quickly you move
 Punctuality is your timeliness

What message are you sending if you are

consistently late for meetings?
 Ideas to walk away with…
 People are always communicating
 The meaning intended by the
sender is never exactly the
message gotten by the receiver
 We can help to overcome barriers
to communication by being aware
of them
 Verbal and non-verbal
communication is important in
sending our messages
 Test yourself…
1. Communication is defined as the interchange of
thoughts or opinions through shared symbols.
True___ False___

2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are

sender, receiver, information, and behavior.
True___ False___

3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of an

organization or geographic distance; personal
limitations; human nature; conflicting feelings, goals,
opinions; and power are examples of barriers to
communication.
True___ False___
 Test yourself
4. Describe the steps of the SHARE model for giving good
information – share, highlight, assure, react,
emphasize:

5. Describe the steps of the FOCUS model for getting

good information – focus, open end, close end, use,
summarize:

6. Describe the steps of the STATE model for giving

constructive feedback – state, tell, address, tender,
express:

7. Describe the the six aspects of non-verbal

communication (body language):
 Test yourself… - answers
1. Communication is defined as the interchange of
thoughts or opinions through shared symbols.
True

2. The four facets of interpersonal communication are

sender, receiver, information, and behavior.
True

3. Unclear process; chain of command; large size of an

organization or geographic distance; personal
limitations; human nature; conflicting feelings, goals,
opinions; power are examples of barriers to
communication.
True
 Test yourself… - answers
4. The steps of the SHARE model for giving good
information are:
 State the main point of your message
 Highlight other important points
 Assure the receiver’s understanding
 React to how the receiver responds
 Emphasize/summarize your main ideas

5. The steps of the FOCUS model for getting good

information are:
 Focus the discussion on the specific information you need
 Open-end question to expand the discussion
 Close-end question to get specifics
 Use active listening skills to understand what you are hearing
 Summarize and close the discussion
 Test yourself… - answers
6. The steps of the STATE model for constructive feedback
are:
 State the constructive purpose of your feedback
 Tell specifically what you have observed
 Address and describe your reactions
 Tender specific suggestions for improvement
 Express your support for the person

7. The the six aspects of non-verbal communication (body

language):
 Face – expressions, smile, tilt of head
 Figure – posture, demeanor, gestures, dress
 Focus – eye contact
 Territory – use of space
 Tone – voice pitch, volume, emphasis
 Time – the use time
 Apply what you’ve learned
 When you started this program we
asked you to consider some questions.
Let’s wrap up:
 What new things did you learn about
interpersonal communication?
 Did you meet your learning goals for this
program?
 Did you meet your supervisor’s
expectations, if any, for participation in this
training?
 How will you be able to apply your learning
on the job?
 What’s next?
 We hope you have enjoyed this program as an
overview of the basic verbal and non-verbal
communication skills needed in the workplace.

 The Professional Development Program offers

classroom sessions on this and other topics
which include numerous individual and group
exercises to enhance your learning.

 Please visit our web site

http://uhr.rutgers.edu/profdev to enroll or obtain more
information.
The Basics of Effective
Interpersonal
Communication

U n iv e rsity H u m a n R e so u rce s
P ro f e s s io n a l D e v e lo p m e n t P ro g r a m
S u p p o r t in g le a d e r s h ip , in t er p e r s o n a l a n d p r o fe s s i o n a l e x c e lle n c e