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Guys Are From Mars, Girls Are From Venus

Ray and Sue Bohlin Probe Ministries www.probe.org

No Male Bashing!

Why Its Great To Be a Guy


Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You can drop by without bringing a small gift. 3 pairs of shoes are more than enough. You get extra credit for the slightest acts of kindness. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

Men
Sense of self: achievement Task-oriented Self-reliant Ask for help = weakness

Women
Sense of self: relationships Relationaloriented Inter-dependent Ask for help = compliment

Men

Women

Focus is on Enjoy the goal process

Men

Women

Competition

Cooperation

Men

Women

Analytical

Intuitive

Men
Linear: focus on one thing at a time.

Women
Multi-taskers: juggle many little things at once

Compartmentalized Contiguous (like a chest of (like a ball of yarn) drawers)

Men
Action-oriented Hostility: physical Feels better by solving problems

Women
Verbal Hostility: verbal Feels better by talking about problems

Men
When under stress: distracts himself with various activities to relax. Withdraws into his cave.

Women
When under stress: gets more involved with others. Talks in order to be heard and understood.

Men
Primarily needs respect (trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, encouragement).

Women
Primarily needs cherishing (tender care, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, reassurance). Needs to be protected.

Needs to be needed.

Men

Women

Words: for Words: like conveying breathing facts and information

Summary of Gender Differences


Men tend to be tough and strong, women tend to be gentle and tender Men tend toward logic and linear thinking, women tend toward emotion and verbal communication Men tend to be risk-takers, women tend toward security and order

Summary of Gender Differences


Men tend toward relational insensitivity, women tend toward relational sensitivity Men look toward the long haul, women are more concerned for the here and now Men are more skeptical and suspicious (the provider in him?), women are more believing and trusting (the nurturer in her?)

The Butterfly

and

The Buffalo

The Butterfly
The butterfly has a keen sensitivity. It is sensitive even to the slightest breeze. It flutters above the ground where it can get a panoramic awareness of its surroundings. It notices the beauty of even the tiniest flowers. Because of its sensitivity, it is constantly aware of all of the changes going on around it and is able to react to the slightest variation in its environment.

The Butterfly
Thus, the butterfly reacts with swiftness toward anything that might hurt it. (Try to catch one without a net sometime.) If a tiny pebble were taped to its wing, the butterfly would be severely injured and eventually die.

The Buffalo
The buffalo is another story. It is rough and calloused. It doesnt react to a breeze. Its not even affected by a thirty-mile-an-hour wind. It just goes right on doing whatever it was doing. Its not aware of the smallest of flowers, nor does it appear to be sensitive to slight changes in its environment. Tape a pebble to the buffalos back and it probably wont even feel it.

The Buffalo
The buffalo isnt rotten to the core just because he goes around stepping on pretty flowers. In fact, the buffalos toughness is a tremendous asset. His strength, when harnessed, can pull a plow that four grown men cant pull. . . He (man) may tend to plow through circumstances, while [the woman] may feel life and her surroundings with much more sensitivity.

Created Differences
Man was formed from dust; woman was formed from flesh. Man was placed in the garden alone; woman was brought to the man so they could be together. Man was created with a need; woman was created to fill a need. Mans job was to work; womans job was to help man with his work.

Created Differences
Mans job was cognitive/task oriented (name the animals); womans job was emotive/relational (meet the need of the man). Man gave woman her name; woman received her name from him. Mans body was created to give a seed; womans body was created to give life.

Gender Roles and the Bible


Womens Needs and Issues
Women need to be cherished Women need security Women need to be treated with tenderness and gentleness Women are verbal creatures

Gender Roles and the Bible


Mens Needs and Issues
Men need respect and support Men are naturally self-oriented

Men and Women from the Beginning


Genesis 2: 18-25 -- The Creation of Eve

Eve was made for man. Eve was made from the man. Eve was brought to the man. Eve was named by man. Man is the head; he is responsible for the woman.

Men and Women from the Beginning Genesis 3:16 Effect of the Curse on Eve

Men and Women from the Beginning Genesis 3:17-18 Effect of the Curse on Adam

Four Pillars of Manhood


(Stu Weber, Tender Warrior)

Heart of a King -- Provisionary Heart Heart of a Warrior -- Protective Heart

Heart of a Mentor -- Teaching Heart


Heart of a Friend -- Loving Heart