KOMUNIKASI ANTARPRIBADI

Kemampuan Akhir yang

diharapkan
Mahasiswa diharapkan bisa menjelaskan mengenai:
• Pentingnya komunikasi interpersonal.
• Karakteristik komunikasi interpersonal
• Faktor-faktor yang mempengaruhi keterampilan interpersonal
• Komponen komunikasi interpersonal
• Tantangan dalam komunikasi
• Johari window

dan mampu menerapkan di lingkungan bisnis dalam

berhubungan dengan atasan, rekan kerja dan bawahan.
 PROSES KOMUNIKASI
Umpan
balik

NOISE

Pengirim
Pengirim Pengirim
Pengirim Penerima
Penerima Penerima
Penerima
Punya
Punya encodes media/ saluran decodes “memahami”
“memahami”
encodes decodes
ide
ide message
message message
message pesan
pesan

NOISE
Possible
Possible additional
additional
feedback
feedback to
to
receiver
receiver
Pengantar
• Bekerja tidak bisa sendiri karena organisasi
adalah sebuah sistem.
• Kemampuan komunikasi interpersonal akan
berdampak pada kinerja.
• Komunikasi interpersonal menjadi dasar
dalam komunikasi organisasional.
Teori Kebutuhan Interpersonal
Teori Kebutuhan Interpersonal oleh
William Schutz 
“kecenderungan manusia dalam menciptakan dan
mempertahankan hubungan tergantung pada seberapa
baik pemenuhan tiga kebutuhan dasar” :
 Affection, hasrat untuk memberi dan menerima cinta
dan kasih sayang
 Inclusion, hasrat untuk menjadi makhluk sosial yang
terlibat dalam kelompok tertentu
 Control, hasrat untuk bisa memberikan pengaruh pada
orang lain
Syarat Komunikasi Interpersonal
1. Adanya dua orang atau lebih yang saling
menyadari kehadirannya.
2. Adanya saling ketergantungan komunikasi dan
FOCUSED INTERACTION
3. Adanya pertukaran pesan
4. Pesan berbentuk verbal dan non verbal
5. Relatif tidak berstruktur.
 7

KONSEP
Komunikasi Intrapersonal
•refers to the conversation that is continually going on in
your own mind.

Komunikasi Interpersonal
•refers to the different types of verbal, non-verbal and
physical actions or expressions that people use when
they communicate with each other.

Intrapersonal & Interpersonal

Mastering the two basic types of communication is
the key to successful socialization.
The ability to communicate ideas, thoughts and
feelings serves as the basis for all successful human
interaction.
 8

What Is Intrapersonal Communication?

Intrapersonal communication skills are:

• communications that occur within a person's own mind.
• positive internal dialogue, occurring within the mind.
Meditation, prayer, visualization and affirmations are
amongst the intrapersonal techniques.
• the process of talking to oneself, we all have constant
internal dialogues going on within ourselves either
consciously or subconsciously, vital roles in determining our
self-esteem and self-perception. If you apply yourself, it is
improving your confidence and therefore your quality of life.
FAKTOR-FAKTOR YANG MEMPENGARUHI
KETERAMPILAN INTERPERSONAL

1. Perspective
2. Self-esteem
3. Self-confidence
4. Self-assertive
 10

1. PERSPECTIVE

• Perspective is a view or belief which we

truly believe it is true and valuable in our
life
• Perspective is the way we look at things
• Knowledge, understanding and values in our minds
shape our perspectives or philosophies or paradigms
• IN RELATIONSHIP, IT IS BETTER TO BE KIND THAN
TO BE RIGHT!
 11

THE WAY WE THINK

• The way we think influence our perspectives
in life

• Positive thoughts will produce positive

perspectives in life

• Positive perspectives are able to produce

positive actions

• Positive perspectives are able to produce

positive communication and interpersonal
relationship
 12
** BRIGHT STUDENT

KNOWLEDGE/INFORMATION
EXPERIENCE /
EDUCATION EFFECTS WE SEE

OBSERVATION VALUE
WHAT IS SHAPING SYSTEM
OUR MINDS?
ENVIRONMENTAL PERCEIVED
INFLUENCE AUTHORITY
**PROCESSIONARY
CATERPILLAR

PEOPLE INFLUENCE OF
INFLUENCE MODELING
 13
EVERY ACTION WE TAKE IS ACTUALLY A REFLECTION OF
OUR PERSPECTIVE

•The Way We Use Our Time, Money

And Energy
•With Whom We Normally Socialize
Or Get Along With
•What Kind Of Food We Eat
•What Kind Of Books We Read
•What Kind Of Activities We Give
Priorities
•How We Communicate With People
•How We React And Take Actions
When We Are Facing Difficulties And
Problems
 14

2. SELF-ESTEEM

HOW WE LOOK AT OURSELVES:

In a positive or negative manner…

In the form of strengths or form of

weaknesses…..

With appreciating your capabilities or

undermining yourselves….

With the feeling you can be successful or

weak without energy….
 15

WHY HAVING HIGH SELF-ESTEEM IS

IMPORTANT?
• Solid and good self-esteem will give us
strength to shape our lives the best we can
• Poor and bad self-esteem will lead to a lot
of weaknesses in life
• WHO AM I?
The Answer To This Question Will
Influence One’s Self-esteem And Influence
The Actions We Take In Our Life
 16

WHO AM I?
MY IDENTITY! MY IMAGE!

• I am a good human being.

• I am a responsible person / son /
parents / employee
• I am a loving
(husband/wife/parents)
• I am a useful member of this
society
• I am a responsible and dedicated
staff/ manager who is well-
organized
 17

WAYS TO BUILD HIGH SELF-ESTEEM

• Always remember you have the capability,

role and achievement

• Should interact with those who have

positive minds and who always encourage
positive actions

• Should take positive actions which bring

goodness to yourself and society
 18

3. SELF-CONFIDENCE

• HIGH SELF-CONFIDENCE will help us

take actions based on perspectives and
values we hold

• HIGH SELF-CONFIDENCE gives us

strengths to achieve the goals we set in
our life
Building Self-Confidence

1. You must feel that you are somebody – used to be

successful, have talent and capabilities, used to contribute
something meaningful to society
• Do not feel that other people are too superior – they are
also normal human beings that shouldn’t be scared of
2. Must practice to give opinions even though you may make
mistakes or you don’t have much points to say
• Must try to get small things done until successful - because
small success could lead in getting bigger success
3. Must try to do high risk work – which have big challenge so
as to train yourself to fight feeling of scared or no confidence
 20

Building Self-Confidence
4. When you have clear objectives, clear values, clear
ways of doing things– dont worry about complaints,
negative comments and opinions of other people – go
ahead with your work – do it the best possible way you
can
5.Seek support from positive people, successful people,
not those who are only talkers, nothing accomplished,
negative people who don’t like to see other people
become successful.
6. Be careful in choosing friends – do not be affected by
the negative comments or bad influence or bad models.
Prolonged exposure to negative elements will influence
your mind and your soul and finally you will fall in their
trap of negativity and non-performance.
 21

Building Self-Confidence

7. Get yourself used to do a lot of welfare work to

build strong mind, soul and character – so that this
way you wont be easily influenced in negativity or
bad behavior – you get yourselves more confidence
and becoming more useful.
8. Must try to fight feeling ashamed or scared or
doesn’t want to work
• Do not propose other people to volunteer – must
propose your own self to volunteer to take part
9. Must try to think and find creative ways to solve
problems – do not surrender to circumstances
 22

4. SELF-ASSERTIVE
• The capability to take a stand and take appropriate
actions in defending perspectives and positive values
which you strongly believe
• Determination, patience and courage are the only
things needed to improve any situation
• WAYS TO BUILD SELF-ASSERTIVENESS
• Understand clearly the good and bad aspects of
anything
• Be firm if they try to take advantage of you
• Behold strictly to values, ethics and rules which you
strongly believe
 23

CONCLUSION
Alquran: 13: 11“ ……Indeed, Allah will not change the
condition of a people until they change what is in
themselves….”
Anthony Robbins: Communication Quotations
The way we communicate with others and with
ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.
Winston Churchill: Communication Quotes
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen
Denis Waitley : Quotes: Self Esteem
To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on
our successes and forget about the failures and the
negatives in our lives
 24

ONLY WE CAN CHANGE OURSELVES

• Nobody will be able to change us to get better

results, except we ourselves.
• For things to change, we have to change first.
• Good news: once we start changing ourselves,
things will start to change for us.
• Our life is our responsibility, so we are
responsible totally for our life.
 25

COMPONENTS OF INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION

1. Conversation
2. Listening
3. Body language
4. Environment
5. Self-appearance
 26

1. CONVERSATION
• Mention Their Names
• Use Suitable Language
• Tone Of Voice
• Simplify Your Message
• Give Other People The Chance To Talk And Do Not
Control All
• Try To Control From Telling Too Much About Yourself
• Use Closed And Open Questions Properly
• Contents Of Your Sentence
• Suitability Of Topics To Talk
• Winning People’s Heart
Be Interesting Vs. Be Interested
 Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 27

THE WAY TO CONVERSE

• Be confident, cool and relaxed

• Be yourself – do not belittle yourself but at the

same do not be arrogant – must show respect
to all parties

• Be assertive – do not let other people step on

your head

• Give your opinion if you don’t agree – with full

of diplomacy and respect
 Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 28

2. LISTENING SKILLS
 Look at the eyes and give attention But do not do it too close or too long
 Show your interest and show that they are important
 Concentrate – do not let your mind wonder to other places. Do not look at other
places or do other things while listening to people talking to you
 Show that you are actually listening to them with full interest by saying
‘yeah’ ‘oh like that’, nodding your head and continue eye contact.
 Do not look at different direction
 Ensure that you really understand what you have just heard by repeating
what you have heard to him / her.
 Repeat important information and seek confirmation from her “Is this what you
are trying say……”
 Give encouragement for people to keep on talking or to tell you more using
phrases such as ‘that’s amazing idea, that’s interesting story, please tell me
more’
 Listen to ideas, not just words. Form imagination in your mind while listening.
 Do not interrupt or try to finish his sentence while people are talking to you.
Wait until he or she finishes his or her sentences.
 Do not be too fast to conclude. Give your response when you are truly sure
he’s finished his points.
 Do not focus on what you are going to say, focus on what your friend is going
to say first.
 Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 29

3. BODY LANGUAGE
 PROPER BODY LANGUAGE
Smile or show happy face
Nod your head to show that you understand or agree or you are
following the conversation attentively.
Give space so that everyone can see each other’s face if you are talking
in a group.
 GOOD BODY LANGUAGE
“Mirroring” is you create the same body posture with those you are
talking to – if they are standing with one leg up, you do the same, if
they are holding cup, you do the same. This is called mirroring.
“Mirroring” will create a more friendly and relaxed atmosphere between
you and the other person.
Avoid from:
• Yawning,
• Scratching your head,
• Drilling your nostrils,
• Digging your ears, and all sort of inappropriate actions
 Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 30

4. ENVIRONMENT
 Try to understand their mood (are they tired, have many
problems, after getting scolded from their boss, feeling sad,
mixed feeling etc.)
 Look at suitability of topic at that moment (talking about
marriage to women who haven’t got married, talking about
child birth with the couple who don’t have kids yet etc.)
 Find suitable place (eg. quite, not many people around)
for the topic you want to discuss. To discuss multi-million
dollar business deal, must find a suitable place.
 Find suitable environment (cold, not smelly, refreshing,
clean)
 Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 31

5. SELF APPEARANCE

• The way you dress

• Cleanliness
• Color of your dress
• Ornaments
• Body smell
 32

CHALLENGES IN COMMUNICATION
MISUNDERSTANDING IN COMMUNICATION
might happen in:
• Through telephone
• SMS
• Emails
• News delivered through third party, fourth- include fasiq people –
surah alhujurat
• When talking always want to win or be superior
• When talking, emotion is more than facts
• When giving opinions, very fast in finding other people’s faults
• When asking questions, the intention is to test the people
• When talking, always want to make other people feel guilty
• When talking, very arrogant, big talk and belittle other people.
 Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 33

CHALLENGES IN COMMUNICATION
Normally, most people don’t want the following:
ONE WAY COMMUNICATION – do not give chance to other people to talk.
• Pestered – just like being pushy.
• Dictated – like to control.
• Imposed – give one-sided point of view.
• Insisted – do not give much choices.
• Manipulation– salesmen, bad leaders
• He feel he’s the only one who’s right and other people do not know anything.
JADDAL KALAMI – debating without proper guidelines, attack one’s
arguments, no ethics in discussion, no good intention
• Discussion not for the sake of finding proper understanding or to find the
truths
• Discussion to hurt other people’s feelings
• Arguments just for fun –no objective, waste of time hurt the feeling, no
barakah
• Provoke heated arguments, spoil the good mood, break friendship
 34

More examples of Barriers to

communication
• Language
• Values and beliefs
• Sex/gender and age
• Economic status
• Educational level
• Physical barriers
• Attitude
• Timing
• Understanding of message
• Trust
 35
IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL
RELATIONSHIP

BASICS – MANKIND BASICS – MANKIND DO

WANTS NOT WANT
• To be respected • To be ridiculed
• To be appreciated • Belittled
• To feel important • Neglected
• To play some roles • Segregated
• To be friends with others • Cruelled
• Win-win – enjoy their • Underestimated
rights • Mistreated
 36

1. REMEMBER HIS NAME AND RELATED INFORMATION

Remember his name correctly and mention his name in the
conversation
Try to remember other important or relevant information about him such
as the number of cats he keep, countries he has visited, his favorite food etc.
2. LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE AND GIVE EMPATHY
Look at the good side and strength he has; do not look at his weaknesses
and shortcomings
Inculcate sympathy and empathy; try to understand his situation; do not
quickly put a blame on him; do not quickly make a conclusion about him and
give forgiveness on small things
Investigate first on what’s happened. Do not conclude too fast
Give open arms and put no ill intention toward him.
3. THINK WIN-WIN
Think win-win. Be fair to all parties.
Never ever suppress other people
Never try to take advantage, especially from the weaker party.
 37
IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL
RELATIONSHIP
4. DO NOT KEEP HIDDEN AGENDA OR TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
• Do not keep the “prawn besides the stone” (hidden agenda) when dealing
with him; this way you will lose trust from him
• Do not take advantage on his weaknesses or his negligence or his sincerity
5. DO NOT ‘KILL’ HIS LIFE AND DO FITNAH
• Never ever ‘kill’ one’s life, dignity or his existence by spreading fitnah
• Stay away from fitnah or plough the seed of hatred or ill-intention
toward a person.
6. NEVER EVER COMPARE, PAY GRATITUDE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE
• Do not compare someone with someone else, our staff with other people
staff,
our husband/wife with other people’s husband/wife
• Do not praise other people and undermine your own relatives
• Have to pay gratitude and appreciate what you have or possess
• Keep in mind - you are my hero or you are my heroine
 Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 38
IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL
RELATIONSHIP
7. GIVE INSPIRATION, EXPECT THE BEST
 Give inspiration, give trust, give hope
 Give motivation to be the best, to give their best
 Must expect the best from them
 Be patient with their shortcomings and find ways so that they
can improve themselves – through coaching, training or third party’s
roles
8.NEVER EVER LIE
 Speak the truth – never ever lie
 Never manipulate your language or twist your tongue, doing so
will make you a hypocrite
9. FULFILL YOUR PROMISE DO NOT MAKE FALSE PROMISE
 Must respect the promise you have made – must fulfill it
 Do not promise with the things you are not capable of doing
IMPORTANT TIPS ON Comm.
INTERPERSONAL
skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 39

RELATIONSHIP
10.SOMETIMES WE ARE STRATEGIC,NOT HYPOCRITE
 We cannot be open to all things because it could be not strategic
 Have to see the pros and cons of the things we discussed
 If it carries more disadvantages than advantages, so it is better to avoid from
being direct – this is what is called strategic.
11. LIKEABLE AND LIKE
 Make it a habit to always eliminate the bad elements in our life
 Improve yourself so that people like you
 Train yourself to like other people
12. EXPECTATION
 Sometimes our expectation on other people are not realistic or too high
 All people have problems or circumstances which we do not know
 We shouldn’t be asking from them more than what they are capable of doing
 Expectation which is too high might frustrate us
13. DON’T HOPE FOR RETURN OF FAVOR
 Continue with good relationship without hoping anything in return
 Even though people do not give a damn, we continue with good relationship with
them
 If we are hoping for a return of favor, maybe we will be frustrated
 If we do not hope anything in favor, they will feel the true pleasure of friendship
 Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 40

FRIENDSHIP

ENHANCERS
SPOILERS
• Good intention
• Have strong vested • Always helping
interest • Keep his dignity
• Like to take advantag • See the good aspects
than the bad aspects
• High expectation • No hidden agenda
• Blame without • Telling the truth and be
trustworthy
investigation
• Give priority to a friend
• Lying when speaking
• Back biting
• Take his rights
Self disclosure: Johari Window
 42

Success for YOU…

…in the new global and diverse

workplace requires
excellent communication skills!
 Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU 43

REFERENCES

1.  http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/interpersonal-
communication.html#ixzz2PJPQO6KY
2. http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/interpersonal-
communication.html
3. http://www.faculty.londondeanery.ac.uk/e-
learning/improve-your-lecturing/what-makes-a-good-
lecturer
4. http://interpersonalskillsonline.com/how-to-develop-
interpersonal-skills
Komunikasi Interpersonal menurut
Martin Buber
• I – it  Manusia memperlakukan orang lain sangat
impersonally, hampir seperti memperlakukan sebuah
objek, tidak mengakui kehumanisan orang lain, bahkan
terkadang tidak menyadari keberadaannya
• I – you  Manusia mengakui sesamanya bukan
sebagai objek, tetapi belum bisa membuka diri secara
penuh
• I – thou  Manusia mengakui sesamanya sebagai
makhluk yang humanis, dan mereka saling membuak
diri, bahkan kelebihan dan kekurangannya sekalipun
Karakteristik
Komunikasi Interpersonal
• Selective  jika dapat telepon dari petugas polling,
kita akan menjawab pertanyaan yang diberikan tanpa
harus berakrab-akrab dengan penelepon
• Systemic
• Semua komunikasi terjadi dalam multiple system yang
mempengaruhi makna yang ditimbulkan
• Semua bagian dan semua sistem saing bergantung, jadi
saling berpengaruh
• Semua sistem komunikasi mengandung noise
• Unique, setiap orang itu unik, sehingga tidak
tergantikan
Karakteristik
Komunikasi Interpersonal
• Processual  komunikasi interpersonal adalah proses
berkelanjutan dan akan meningkatkan keakraban
seiring proses yang berjalan tersebut
• Transactional  komunikasi interpersonal merupakan
proses transaksi antar manusia yang mengimplikasikan
bahwa setiap partisipan bertanggung jawab atas
keefektivannya
• Personal Knowledge  untuk melakukan komunikasi
interpersonal penting dalam memahami lawan
komunikasi, termasuk perasaan dan pengetahuannya
Karakteristik
Komunikasi Interpersonal
• Meaning Creating  inti dari komunikasi adalah
pertukaran makna, bukan hanya pertukaran informasi
Bentuk
Komunikasi Interpersonal
• Face to face
• Email
• Mailing list group
• Instant messaging
• Chat groups
• Surat
• Telegram
• Post it
• dll
Tujuan
Komunikasi Interpersonal
• To Learn  lebih bisa memahami diri sendiri dan
orang lain
• To relate  menumbuhkan dan memelihara
hubungan dekat
• To influence  mempengaruhi perilaku dan sikap