Humor Suroboyoan - Jilid 4
Humor Suroboyoan - Jilid 4
Jilid 4
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Kata Pengantar
Derek-derek sedoyo,
Jilid papat iki isine mek ceritone Wonokairun thok. Lek sampeyan gak seneng utowo gak
weruh watake Wonokairun, luwih apik ojok moco cerito iki timbangane ngersulo misuhi tonggone.
Jenenge wong urip, mesti rekoso tandang gawe, contone yo Wonokairun iku. Sembarang
penggawean dilakoni, kadang mbecak, kadang ngojek, sampek dibelani golek tetelane gubis. Masio
uripe rekoso, Wonokairun iku wonge tetep semuangat gak gelem kalah ambek sing enom. Opo
maneh sampek ono sing nggarai, bakalan bunyek dipongor.
Mugo-mugo ae sik pancet mujarab kanggo nambani bojo, pacar utowo morotuo sampeyan
sing lagi menderita nyaprut mbetutut.
Suwun
Budhi Santoso
Paiton, Agustus 2006
Ngguyu iku termasuk salah siji hak asasine menungso, dhadhi gak perlu mbayar. Aku gak
masalah lek bukuku iku nyebar nang endhi ae, tapi lek onok wong sing sampek wani ngomersilno, tak
dungakno ngguyu pitung turunan gak isok mingkem.
Halaman 3
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Daftar Isi
Gajah Matek..........................................................................................................................5
Bangga ..................................................................................................................................6
Bengkerengan .......................................................................................................................7
Jaketan ..................................................................................................................................8
Mbecak ..................................................................................................................................9
Stasiun.................................................................................................................................10
Jabut Gigi ............................................................................................................................11
Dhuwik sewu .......................................................................................................................12
Bon Bin ...............................................................................................................................13
Mbecak Maneh....................................................................................................................14
Cegatan................................................................................................................................15
Permen karet .......................................................................................................................16
Bis Kota ...............................................................................................................................17
Ngenyang Pithik ..................................................................................................................18
Halaman 4
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Gajah Matek
Isuk-isuk wong sak bonbin gupuh kuabeh krungu berita ono gajah matek mergo wis tuwek.
Masio kulite kisut keriput tapi bobote ono lek 2 ton.
Brudin sing biasane dodolan es gronjong nang bon-bin sakno ndelok Mbah Wonokairun nuangis
mbrebes mili.
"Wis tah Mbah, gak usah athik mbrebes mili. Aku iso ngrasakno yok opo susahe berpisah ambek
gajah sing sampeyan openi pirang puluh taun. Opomaneh umure sampeyan ambek gajah iku yo sak
pantaran, mestine akeh kenangan manise yo. Tapi wis gak usah sedih mbah, lak sik ono gajah liyane
sing lucu-lucu." jarene Brudin.
"He cak, aku iki dhudhu pawange gajah !!!! Ngawur ae !!!!" jarene Wonokairun.
"Lho lek sampeyan dhudhu pawange gajah, laopo sampeyan athik nuangis mbrebes mili barang.
Sejatine sampeyan iki apane gajah?? koncone opo dulure ??" jarene Brudin.
"Aku iki tukang gali kuburan, isuk-isuk durung sarapan wis dikongkon ngeduk kuburan, tibake
kuburane gajah..." Wonokairun nangis maneh.
“Wis mbah ojo nangis maneh, iki lho tak gawekno es gronjong, gratis wis.” Jare Brudin.
“Kon kok apikan nggawekno es gronjong gratis, koyok wong sugih ae.” Jare Wonokairun.
“Lho ojo salah mbah, aku iki pancene keturunane wong sugih, dhuwike mbahku iku cukup gawe tujuh
turunan.” Jare Brudin bangga.
“Gombal !!!, lek pancene kon iku turunane wong sugih, laopo saiki dhodolan es gronjong ??” jare
Wonokairun.
Halaman 5
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Bangga
Wonokairun lagi mbambung ngemis nang ngarepe TP, dhadhak Bunali teko katene ngemis pisan.
"Sampeyan wis suwi tah ngemis nang kene ? Yok opo wis oleh akeh tah ?" takok Bunali.
"Yo lumayan se, sak dino paling sithik aku oleh seket ewu." jare Wonokairun.
"Wah yo lumayan yo, tenguk-tenguk oleh seket ewu. Eh Mbah, sampeyan gak nduwe anak tah, kok
sampek kudhu ngemis koyok ngene ?" takok Bunali.
"Anakku wolu wis gedhe-gedhe, telu nang ITS, loro nang Unair, siji nang Unbra, loro maneh nang
IKIP. " jarene Wonokairun bangga.
"Wah gak nyongko rek, hebat sampeyan mbah. Durung ono sing lulus tah anak sampeyan?" takok
Bunali.
"Anakku gak ono kuliah cak !" jare Wonokairun.
"Ooh dadi dosen tah??" takok Bunali.
"Salah peno cak." jare Wonokairun.
"Lha laopo lo ??" takok Bunali.
"Yo koyok bapake iki, ngemis kabeh..."
Halaman 6
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Bengkerengan
"Laopo isuk-isuk kok wis mlaku ambek bedhes lungset kumus-kumus ?" jarene Brudin.
"Ooo pancene picek, sing tak tuntun iki jenenge wedhus dhudhuk bedhes !!" jare Wonokairun.
"Lho aku gak takok peno!!. Aku pancene takok nang wedhuse." jare Brudin.
Halaman 7
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Jaketan
Halaman 8
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Mbecak
Bosen ngemis, saiki Wonokairun mbecak. Be'e hasile luwih akeh pikire.
Pas mancal ambek tingak-tinguk golek penumpang, moro-moro ono turis bule nyeluk.
"Diiinnn !!! Bruuuudiinnnn !!!! Ono wong bule nggoleki bojomuuuuu .!!!!"
Halaman 9
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Stasiun
Wonokairun teko nang stasiun Gubeng, pethukan ambek Brudin dhodholan es.
"Din, sepur nang jakarta wis liwat tah?" takok Wonokairun.
"Wah telat sampeyan mbah, wis budhal jam pitu mau . ." jare Brudin.
"Lek sepur nang banyuwangi wis liwat tah durung ..? takok Wonokairun.
"Lho sik tas ae Mbah, kiro-kiro sepulung menit kepungkur . ." jare Brudin.
"Lek sepur sing nang semarang wis liwat tah durung . .?" takok Wonokairun.
"Oooh lek iku mengo awan jam rolas budhale. Sik tah Mbah, ben sepur sampeyan takokno !!
Sampeyan iku sakjane arep nang endhi ? " Brudin bingung.
"Arep nyabrang . ."
Halaman 10
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Jabut Gigi
Wonokairun loro untu lungo nang dokter gigi konco lawase jenenge Bunali.
"Waduh mbah, untu sampeyan kudhu dicabut . ." jare Bunali.
"Yo wis jabuten ae ben ndang waras " jare Wonokairun.
Mari dijabut Bunali takok "Wis gak loro maneh mbah ?"
"Iyo wis enak saiki, piro ongkose dok ?" Wonokairun takok.
"Wis gak usah mbayar mbah, gratis ae " jare Bunali.
"Waduh suwun suwun, . . tak dungakno sampeyan mlebu suargo" jare Wonokairun.
Halaman 11
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Dhuwik sewu
"Din, dhuwikku mek sewu, iso gawe tuku es tah ?" jare Wonokairun.
"Iso mbah, tapi es batu thok gathik setrup." jare Brudin.
Medhite rek pikire Wonokairun, uawas kon yo..
Halaman 12
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Bon Bin
Wonokairun sir-siran nang Bon Bin, dhadhak pethukan maneh ambek Brudin dhodholan es gronjong.
Mari muter-muter dhodholan es gronjong, Brudin pethukan maneh ambek Wonokairun lagi guyon
ambek gendhakane.
"Oo !! Pancene gak nggenah !!! Wingi anake dhewe disikat, saiki bojone koncone arep disikat pisan.
Wis tuwek petakilan " jare Brudin.
"He !! Kon lek ngomong ojok sembarangan lho yo !!! Tak suantap lambemu !!! Sing wingi nyikat anake
dhewe iku lho sopo !!!. Iki yo dhudhuk bojone koncoku, arek iki wis rondo, sak umur-umur gak tau
ndelok bon bin, mulakno tak jak nglencer !!" Wonokairun mencak-mencak gak trimo.
Begitu krungu wong loro iku gegeren, arek wedhok gendhakane Wonokairun langsung ngilang
minggat.
"Aku ngomong ambek bedhes tuwek nang mburimu . ." jare Brudin.
Halaman 13
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Mbecak Maneh
"Wis stop kene ae Mbah !!" moro-moro ceweke mbengok ambek ngekeki dhuwik limang ewu.
Wonokairun nuangis mbrebes mili.
"Lho opoko mbah, kurang tah, iki lho tak tambahi maneh ." jare ceweke ambek ngekeki dhuwik
sepuluh ewu.
Wonokairun sik nuangis ae.
"Sepurane yo mbah, sik kurang tah, iki lho tak tambahi maneh . ." jare ceweke ambek ngekeki dhuwik
seket ewu.
Wonokairun sik nuangis ae.
"Waduh mbah sampeyan njaluk piro ? Age ngomongo." ceweke bingung.
"Ning aku nuangis gak perkoro dhuwike kurang . ." jare Wonokairun.
"Lho opoko mbah ?" jare ceweke.
"Aku lali dalane mulih . . ."
Halaman 14
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Cegatan
Wonokairun kepingin ngojek, soale lek mbecak royokan penumpang kalah terus.
Isuk-isuk Wonokairun wis sliwar-sliwer belajar numpak bronpit.
Lagek mlaku sedhiluk, dhadhak wis dicegat pulisi.
Tibake pulisine ikut Bunali, tonggone dhewe.
Timbangane gegeran, akhire Bunali ngalah, Wonokairun diculno gak sidho ditilang.
Timbangane gegeran, akhire Bunali ngalah, Wonokairun diculno maneh gak sidho ditilang.
Sisuke Wonokairun belajar bronpit maneh, saiki wis wani rodho adhoh.
Bareng mlaku wis oleh 5 km, dhadhak pethuk Bunali maneh.
"Ayo minggir !!!, Aku saiki wis gak lali, STNK, SIM lengkap kuabeh. Iki lho dheloken, helm, jaket
ambek sarung tanganku yo anyar kuabeh. Hayo kate lapo kon !!! " jare Wonokairun suombong.
"Yo wis mbah, aku yo gak katene nilang sampeyan, tapi aku mbadhek sampeyan sik ono sing lali
maneh " jare Bunali.
"Gak mungkin !! Lali opone . .?" Wonokairun bingung,
"Laopo sampeyan mancal becak ? Lha bronpite endhi ?"
Halaman 15
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Permen karet
"He Mbah, laopo ben kursi kon inceng sithok-sithok" jare Brudin.
"Wingi sore aku nontok bal-balan ambek mangan permen karet terus tak templekno nang ngisore
kursi. Cuma masalahe aku lali wingi longgone nang endhi, mulakno aku kepekso merikso kuabeh
kursi sithok-sithok, lek ono permen karete langsung tak jabut. Dheloken iki, aku wis oleh sak kresek."
jare Wonokairun.
"Waduh terharu aku mbah, pancene sampeyan iku pantes diconto. Umpomo wong kuabeh ndhuwe
kesadaran tanggung jawab koyo sampeyan, wah enak tugasku." jarene Brudin.
"He Din, niatku iku dhudhuk arep ngewangi awakmu. Kok nyimut !!!" jare Wonokairun.
Halaman 16
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Bis Kota
"Longgo kene lho mbah" Brudin ngadhek ambek nawakno kursine nang Wonokairun.
"Wis gak usah !! Kon longgo ae !!." jare Wonokairun.
Brudin wis kadung ngadhek malih longgo maneh.
"Longgo kene lho mbah" Brudin ngadhek pisan maneh nawakno kursine.
Halaman 17
Humor Suroboyoan – Jilid 4
Ngenyang Pithik
Wonokairun ganti haluan maneh saiki dhodholan pithik nang pasar ngelom.
Brudin teko jange tuku pithik digawe tumpengan slametan.
"Mbah aku jange tuku pithik meduro, ono tah?" jare Brudin.
"Iki lho sing wulune abang. ." jare Wonokairun.
Mari ngono ambek Brudin pithike diangkat sampek njengking terus dibukak bokonge.
Pithike girap-girap sampek wulune brodhol, Wonokairun nggondhok ndelok pithike diobok-obok
bokonge.
"Wah dhudhuk iki mbah, iki tibake pithik njombang . ." jare Brudin ambek mbalekno pithike.
"Cobak sing putih iki . ." jare Wonokairun ambek nawakno pithik putih.
Mari ngono Brudin merikso maneh bokonge pithike.
Pithike girap-girap sampek wulune brodhol, Wonokairun tambah mbedhodhok ndelok pithike diobok-
obok bokonge.
"Wah dhudhuk iki mbah, iki tibake pithik solo ." jare Brudin.
Wonokairun nawakno maneh pithik klawu, tapi tetep gak cocok, tiwas brodhol kuabeh.
"Kon iku jange tuku utowo mek kepingin dulinan bokonge pithik !!!" Wonokairun wis gak iso nahan
emosi.
"Iyo mbah, aku pingin tuku pithik sampeyan tapi durung ketemu sing pithik meduro . ." jare Brudin.
"Iki lho pithikku sing kari dhewe ." jare Wonokairun ambek nawakno pithik ireng.
"Mbah, sampeyan kok ngamukan se ?? Sakjane sampeyan asline wong endhi ?" jare Brudin.
"Lek gak percoyo dheloken dhewe . ." jare Wonokairun ngangkat sarung ambek njengking.
Halaman 18