Learning to be Gay: Narrative Socialization of Young Indonesian

Homosexuals

Abstrak

Naiknya konservativisme dalam kehidupan beragama di dalam masyarakat Indonesia

berdampak negatif terhadap kebencian dan permusuhan kepada kelompok minoritas seksual –
yang dipandang membawa dosa dan merusak kehidupan bermasyarakat – seperti kelompok
LGBT (lesbian, gay, biseksual dan transgender). Artikel ini membahas
proses anggota kelompok mino
dalam kehidupan masyarakat relijius yang menolaknya. Berbeda dengan kajian-kajian
sebelumnya, penelitian secara khusus melibatkan anak-anak muda dari kelompok minoritas
ini dalam memahami dan membangun identitas seksualnya dalam lingkungan sosial yang
tidak menerimanya. Dengan menggunakan jaringan sosial media yang ada, anak-anak muda
gay ini membangun komunitas digitalny a, untuk bersosialisasi dengan sesamanya dan
mengekspresikan orientasi seksualnya meskipun secara tersembunyi dari kehidupan
masyarakat umum. Namun, demikian dalam situasi yang memaksa tersembunyi dari
kehidupan masyarakat, mereka tidak memiliki kemauan dan kesempatan untuk
memperjuangan hak-hak kewarganegaraannya. Data penelitian diperoleh dari beberapa
wawancara kualitatif dengan anak-anak muda gay di kota Yogyakarta, Indonesia.

Abstract

The increasing religious conservativism within the Indonesian society has motivated the
growth of hatreds and vigilantes targeting sexual minorities – regarded as an unforgiven sin
polluting the society – especially LGBT or lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. The article
addresses processes pursued by members of these minorities to express their sexual identities
and build up social relationships with fellow ones within the largely religious society who
reject them. Rather different with other previous studies, the study is focused to involve
young gays on the ways they begin to understand and develop their different sexual identities
amid the largely unfriendly social environments. By utilizing the existing social media, these
young gays have built up sort of digital communities for socialising with fellow people and
expressing their sexual orientations concealed from the larger social life of the society. Yet,
with the unfriendly condition forced them to keep low life, they have shown lack of interests
and opportunities to promote their civic and citizenship rights. Results of the study are based
on several qualitative interviews with young gays living in the mid-size Indonesian city of
Yogyakarta.
Keywords: Homosexuals, Gay Identity, Gay Relationships, Indonesian Youths,

INTRODUCTION

The presence of gay people within the modern Indonesian society has been taking in the
new phases since its earliest public appearance in the 1980s and its further development via

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varieties of pop cultures in the 2000s. The rise of the religious conservativism – since 1990s
thus accelerated in the democratic era of 2000s – within the majority Muslim populace has
shown a strong tendency to pursue the Islamisation of the public sphere through promoting
religious-inspired rules, norms and customs in the everyday life of the society (see van
Bruinessen, 2013; Hefner, 2018). Related to the topic of this paper, it appears in the increase
of public vigilantes to any forms of activities and groups considered violating the
conservative religious rules and norms of the Indonesian majority Muslim society, which
includes sexual minorities of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) (Liang, 2010;
Davies, 2014). It is common for lesbians, gays, bisexual and transgender to conceal their
minority sexual orientations and identities; and to live and socialise under the radar of the
growing-religiously conservative Indonesian society (see Blackwood, 2010; Arli, Badejo &
Sutanto, 2019).

According to the existing literatures, nevertheless, homosexuality is not just a modern

phenomenon yet rooted in the traditional cultures of Indonesian societies. A prominent
Indonesianist, Ben Anderson (2001) states that homosexual practices, particularly in Java,
emerged as an anti-thesis to the 17-19 centuries massive Islamisation as it was promoting a
rather puritan tradition thus setting a dominant heterosexual culture within the society.
Referred to the 19th century classic Hindu-Buddhist-inspired Javanese literature, Serat
Centhini, Anderson underscores the very loose and broad definition of the sexual relationship;
which is not merely between males and females but both; and its aims to seek pleasures and
playing things rather than imbued by the sacred and highly considered religious messages.
The existence of homosexual practices within the sub-culture of traditional Indonesian society
has been also linked to the presence of Gemblak, a young male, who acts as a wife of Warok,
a mighty figure within the traditional Javanese society who had to avoid any forms of sexual
relationship with females to preserve his supernatural and superhuman power (Oetomo, 1991;
2001a). Another similar practice including Mairil, such a young male with a lady-like body
and gesture, who is loved and cared by his senior as a concealed and uncommon practice
within Pesantren (traditional Islamic educational institution) in Jawa (Ibid; see also Fikri &
Wardana, 2019).

However, the link and continuity between those traditional (Javanese) roots and the
homosexual practices in the modern Indonesia seem to be questionable. Tom Boellstorff
(2005) argued that homosexual practices including the existence of lesbians and gays were

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pretty new as a modern phenomenon in the Indonesian public starting in 1970s and 1980s
thus further expanded in the late 1990s and early 2000s after the 1998 Reformasi. The
introduction has something to do with the globalisation of homosexuality as parts of
westernization as an expansion of western culture – which begin to accept homosexuality – to
people across countries in the globe (Altman, 1996). Referring again to Boellstorff (2005),
there was a process of ‘a dubbing culture’ in which this western-form of homosexuality
expanded and transformed into the local culture of the Indonesian society.

The most crucial process of the introduction and development of homosexuality

especially the forms of gay identities have been emerging alongside the boom of pop culture
industries within the country. This new public arena has become a fierce contestation of
modern Indonesian identities including gay and lesbianism that particularly attract the youths
(Heryanto, 2007). As widely explained by Ben Murtagh (2013), the influences of lesbian/gay-
themed movies in the 1990s/2000s Indonesian cinema had been very crucial in the
development of lesbian-gay identities as well as the sociability of this homosexual minorities
in the society. Alongside the foundation of some LGBT communities – like GAYa Nusantara
and other provincial branches across the country (see Oetomo, 2001b; Boellstorff, 2005), such
Indonesian movies like Arisan (2003) and Arisan 2 (2011) (and many other lesbian/gay-
themed movies) have been becoming such new cultural references for Indonesian youths with
urban life-styles and more openness to non-mainstream sexual orientations and identities
(Murtagh, 2013). Aside from the celebration of the rise of the sexual diversity, those studies
did not provide adequate elaboration of the complexities faced by members of these
minorities, particularly the young ones, to presence their different sexual identities amid the
growing conservative Muslim society of the country.

The number of LGBT people in the country has been believed to increase up to 2
million people of 270 million Indonesians today (GAYa Nusantara, n.d.). Even though the
roughly estimated number is hardly corroborated due to the lack of the official data. Yet, the
presence of these sexual minorities has shaped the current dynamic of the state-societal life of
Indonesia in the last decades including the current backlash against them. The public appeals
against LGBT people have been steadily on the rise quite prominent (Liang, 2010). Based on
three reports from UNDP-USAID initiative on ‘Being LGBT in ASIA (2014), Human Right
Watch (2016) and Equality Index (2022) on LGBT Rights in Indonesia, there are some shared
understandings of the ignorant views towards LGBT people showed both by the state and the

3
society in general. From the state, there are no legal rules intended to prosecute or prohibit
homosexual practices but also no legal support or protection for LGBT people from social-
cultural attacks and discriminations. While from the society, homosexuality and other non-
mainstream sexual orientation are hardly recognised followed by the rise of intolerant
attitudes addressed to LGBT people. There also exists some sporadic vigilant activities
targeting these sexual minorities from various hard-liner religious groups around the country
(see HRW, 2016).

The study focuses on the narrative life of young Indonesian gays by elaborating their
learning process to understand and express their sexual orientation and identity as
homosexuals within the growing awareness yet with ignorant and/or intolerant views from the
society. It offers a fragment of understanding regarding challenges and difficulties faced by
young Indonesian gays on the way to understand and settle their sexual orientations and to
live through the increasing unfriendly environment of the largely conservative Indonesian
society. The lack of recognition from the state and the society have provided them with
limited or even no adequate information about homosexuality, issues on sexual health and
importantly civic and sexual rights of homosexuals. The situation has likely led them to a
vulnerable condition for confusion, mis-understanding, abuses, sexual attacks and exploitation
from fellow homosexuals and others people from the wider society.

The sexual identity development of homosexual people has been widely examined by
notable scholars in this field for years (see Cass, 1979; 1984; Coleman, 1982). It stresses the
complex and uneasy process for them to recognize their same-sex sexual orientation,
formulate their sexual identity and try to fit in into the wider social life of the society which
might disagreed with. The topic has been further studied with the growing acceptance of
societies toward LGBT people as culminated in the legal recognition of minority sexual
rights around liberal countries in the world (Pettinicchio, 2012). Yet, the coming-out process
has been still a major obstacle for these minority sexual groups in conservative countries
where homosexuality is not legally recognized and/or homosexual people are still being
criminalized (Shamsudin & Ghazali, 2011; Davies, 2014; Cheah & Singaravelu, 2017).
Considering the recent unfriendly social-political environment of Indonesia against minority
sexual people, the fate of particularly young homosexuals are always at stage of pressure and
surveillance. This might undermine their sexual identity formation and development to be part
of the Indonesian society as a whole.

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 RESEARCH METHOD

The study followed a qualitative approach involving 12 young gay informants (age
between 20-24 years old) living in the typical mid-size Indonesian city of Yogyakarta. There
is no specific reason regarding the location of the research. Life-history interviews had been
conducted around April to May 2018 to dig out their learning process to understand and
express their sexual orientation as homosexuals; perpetuated by informants during their life
courses. The interviews also focused on elaborating their reflections regarding the existence
of lesbians-gay people and other sexual minorities within the current Indonesian society, their
sociability and public engagements face-to-face within the society and mediated via cyber
communities and social media apps, and their political opinions on their sexual-citizenship
rights.

In-line with the qualitative method adopted, data analysis has been carried out to follow
the grounded theory approach linked to Nathan Glazer and Anselm Strauss (1967) original
formulation; with conducting simultaneously ‘compare and contrast’ across the data,
elaborating some shared facts and findings, and iteratively interpreted and examined with
current issues and topics across the existing relevant literatures (see also Charmaz, 1994). At
the end, the study develops a form of understanding and elaboration about the process of
becoming gay, forming their social identity and building up social networks amongst young
homosexual amid the increasing intolerant views and attitudes of the Indonesian society. To
protect the privacy and confidentiality of informants involved in the project, all names used in
the findings and analysis are pseudonym that if there are some similarities is just pure
coincident. All collected data from the informants are also securely saved with no access
outside the researchers of the study.

ADOLESCENCE AND SEXUAL IDENTITY

Homosexuality has been seen rather as a modern phenomenon with limited or even
without links and roots into the rather similar practices within the old Indonesian cultures/sub-

5
cultures and traditions (see Boellstorff, 2005; Adihartono & Jocson, 2020). It states that the
existing social processes pursued by homosexual people in the country regarding their
understanding, realisation and development of sexual orientation to same-sex partners and gay
identity at large. The fact can be elaborated by referring the earlier process on realising the
sexual orientation with the same sex friends as experienced by gay informants in this study.
At the majority, a feeling to like their same sex friend has mostly begun during their sitting at
the secondary schools or about the age of 13-15 years olds. To note, within gay informants
involved in this study, a number of them have sort of an effeminate personality, which were
being commonly socialised with girls during their childhoods up to their adolescence thus
mostly left out by their male friends. These personalities have been further developed into a
feeling to friends with the similar sex before finally realised as gay.

The process to know, understand and realise their sexual orientations to same sex
friends have been largely facilitated by social media, like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and
others. Thanks to the wider availability of the Internet in the country! It was started partially
with confusion, curiosity and self-learning processes regarding their rather different
personalities, interests, physical development and sociability compared to fellow friends in
the neighbourhoods or schools. Here, the availability of various information throughout the
Internet and social media have offered answers and justification for their differences; which is
later paving the ways to realise their sexual orientation and to socialise with others with
similar identities. As stated by Ezza, a 21 years-old university student below:

It started when I was sitting in the last years of the elementary school; as I was a given a
smartphone, I began to search and visit pornographic sites and found interested in homosexual
couples. Thus, I did often visit those sites. But, I began to know more about being gay was from
social media, Facebook. That gave me sort of understanding that out there, there some people
with a similar personality like me (read: an effeminate one) and to like people from the same
sex (Interview on 27 April 2018).
But the self-realisation of being gay has largely happened in the age 17-19 years old;
when they were sitting in the high schools. Off course, there was some confusion faced. The
process has been mostly started with a seduction from friends or seniors - who were already a
gay - thus asking them to date though mostly unconcealed from the public eyes. To some
extent, the process of realizing ones’ sexual identity happens very slow as the persons need
the understanding their developed-feeling to partners.

When I was in the second year SMA (the high school), a friend called me and asked to visit my
home. He later told me that he loved me and wanted a forge a relationship with me. It took time
for me to realise that. But, our relationship had developed and become closer and closer. He so

6
 loved me and I had felt very comfortable with him beside me. Then, we started kissing, just
kissing, no more than that … To let you know, my first time to make ‘fun’ (an anal intercourse)
was not with him, but with my other boyfriend after I graduated from school (Abby, 21 years-
old university students; Interview on 9 April 2018).
As all informants in the study are very young, age 20-24 years old, their homosexuality
and gay relationship has been very dynamic and full of sexual desires. They have seemed to
have sort of excitement to realise their homosexuality, to be able to socialise with fellow gay
men even forming intimate relationship, and to try and enjoy sexual activities with gay
partners. The facts have implied on how homosexuality means from them and influence their
sociability particularly with fellow gay partners and people. As most of the processes in
realising and learning of being homosexual have happened alone, helped by any sources from
the Internet and/or practical interaction with fellow gay people and partners, the
understanding on their same-sex orientations and relationship are needed to get attention (Cf.
Kenneady and Oswalt, 2014; Martos, Nesahd & Meyer, 2015; Brescia & Afdal, 2021;
Fatgehipon, et.al., 2019). Being gay has likely led to them to have an intimate or sexual
relationship then turn to various and free sexual activities as parts of their transformation to
adulthood (Cf. Cass, 1979; 1984; Brady & Busse, 1994). Two things are to note here that
being gay means with their open-ended and short-lived intimate relationship and the
involvement of the very active sexual activities.

Most informants acknowledged to have boyfriends during the interviews. They have
been dating with more than 3-4 other gay partners ever since; which each only lasted between
3 to 6 months. Their short-lived relationship is quite interesting and required explanation.
There were some reasons including (i) because of their young age, as they tended to be easily
falling in love but also easily rush to break it if there were some disagreements or even after
getting bored with his partners; and (ii) because of socially unwanted relationship, there were
lacked of commitments between these gay partners that made them unfaithful, tend to cheat
and finally ending their gay relationships.

The role of the existing of the intimate relationship during the processes to define and
realise their homosexual orientation and identity has been crucial and important particularly in
dealing with disclosure/non-disclosure dilemma amongst young gays as reported by previous
researches (see Coleman-Fountain, 2014; Ranade, 2018; Baudinette, 2021). Yet, lots of
studies stated the most problems in the homosexual intimate relationship, which tends to be
short-lived and to be easily to change partners and breaking up the relationship (Rostosky &

7
Riggle, 2017; Allan & Westhaver, 2017) as also shown by informants’ experience in the
study. The fact indicates that considering their age, the gay informants have not matured
enough to form an intimate homosexual relationship; while the common public views of
Indonesians to reject and renounce them might have negatively contributed to the
development of the more positive, committed and healthy relationship (CF Frost. Meyer &
Hammack, 2015).

Most of informants have shown an involvement of the very active sexual activities
(mostly on weekly basis or more) either with boyfriends or with sexual partners. They meet
and know each other through a daily hangout or via social media, gay social media or gay
dating sites. Some of them also acknowledged quite often to have sex with 2-3 gay people
together (threesome and foursome) during their young life as homosexuals. The threat of
HIV/Aids from their open, free and unprotected sexual behaviours was widely understood,
but most of them have showed rather little attentions and seen it as just a matter of bad luck.
The fact that they have been easily exposed to the very active sexual activities could be
understood as the excitement and new-understanding of the homosexual bodies. Considering
young age and self-learning process to the gay life, these young Indonesian gays have
attempted to explore various new meaning of homosexuality with largely linked to sexual
activities with boyfriends and sexual partners with limited intention to form a more stable and
positive intimate relationship (see Coleman-Fountain, 2014; Ranade, 2018; Baudinette, 2021).

SOCIAL MEDIA APPS, GAY INTERACTION AND THE FULFILMENT OF

HOMOSEXUAL DESIRE

Living as members of sexual minority groups in the country with the rise of religious
conservativism that regard them as sinners, violating religious-cultural rules and unwelcomed
by the majority society has become a reality check for gay informants in this study. According
to information given during the interview, while they realised, seemed to enjoy and had a
pride of their sexual identity, all of them have still been facing problems to explain their
sexual orientations to the public – known as ‘coming out’ – especially to families, friends and
colleagues. It was widely acknowledged, that only few closed-friends or other gay people they
have told about their homosexuality openly in order to avoid exclusion, discrimination and

8
other forms of social control from the society. However, all informants declared that they
have never experienced any forms of violent attacks but only some verbal bullying during
their school ages that not last long.

I think I have a rather introvert personality, I prefer not to tell my personal matter to others,
friends or even my families. At the moment, I have a boyfriend, a gay-boyfriend. He works as
a model, and I am still study (at university). We think it will be better for us, for our career to
keep our (homosexual) relationship only for us only. Imagine, if the future my boyfriend has
such a public position or I have a good career; what will be happen if people knew that we are
gay, a homosexual. The society will not forgive us (Chiko, 20 years-old university students;
Interview on 15 April 2018).
As the gay people Indonesia as expressed by gay informants of the study have tended to
conceal their homosexual identity from the public, their interaction has been happening in
another new public arena facilitated through the Internet, Social Media Networks. These
young gay people – as parts of Millennial or Generation Z and regarded as digital natives –
are active users of social media apps, including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp,
WeChat as well other gay-dedicated ones like Hornet, Blued, and Grindr. First, these
Internet-based social media have played an important role in the early stage of these young
Indonesian gay people for their self-learning process to understand, recognise and realise their
same-sexual orientations. It is sadly to say that though many information about
homosexuality, positive gay-lesbian relationship and safe-and healthy sexual activities for
gay-lesbian people available in the Internet and social media, these young Indonesian gays
have been more interested in accessing sites and social media linked to pornographic-contents
and sexual activities.

Second, these social media apps are widely used by young Indonesian gays for seeking
other gay friends, dating gay boyfriends and/or finding just sexual partners for one-night-
stands sexual intercourses. For the novice gays, they had usually started to join and found
other gay friends via various gay forums in Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or WhatsApp and/or
via mutual friends in their social media networks. Next, they began to learn and build a
friendship for hangout, gossiping and sharing their life stories; and if they were getting closer
and having a feeling thus forge an intimate relationship. Whilst for more experienced users,
they have accounts in gay-dedicated social media apps like Blued (almost all informants of
this study have!), Hornet and Grindr to socialise and especially to find other gay sexual
partners.

9
 The ubiquitous uses of social media apps for the gay socialisation Indonesia have
something to do with another two facts including (i) their dynamic intimate relationships –
lasting only 3-6 months; and (ii) their sexually active behaviours. This is by no means that
social media apps are very helpful for young gay Indonesians to sneak under the increasing
religious society and forge and pursue their homosexual relationship and sexual life. Yet,
these social media apps have also opened a Pandora box of homosexual desires to find not
just other gay friends and boyfriend but more importantly sexual partners to fulfil their young
sexual thrusts.

I was using Blued and Hornet, and off course Facebook and Instagram. At the beginning, I just
wanted to know persons (gay) like me, befriend and hang out with them … After for a while, I
used them to seek sexual partners for pleasures; that usually happened when I really wanted to
have sex. I would seek a good looking or handsome gay man. To let you know, I prefer to
have sex with sexual partners without any longer and intimate relationship rather than with my
(gay) boyfriend. With them, I was able to expand my sexual fantasy and try other sexual play
thing. But, with my boyfriend, I tended to easily get bored (Abby, 21 years-old university
students; Interview on 9 April 2018).
The rampant uses of these social media apps for seeking sexual partners without any
intimate and longer relationship have been largely acknowledged by other informants but with
sort of caution. For them, these gay-linked social media apps have become a wild public arena
for gay sexual predators to lay traps and catch preys. It was not only once that a gay man
contacted them, made chats thus finally just asked for sex. The experiences have forced them
to close almost their accounts in social media apps and delete them from the smartphones.

However, when asked a reflection regarding the wide uses of social media networks by
gays (and other minority sexual groups), some informants noted that this digital arena have
become a relatively safe and free place for them to disclose and even show off themselves and
especially their sexual orientation to the same sexes. The available tools to upload photos,
videos and/or to stream live-videos have been used extensively by gay men in order to prove
their existence as well as to attract other gay men. The tendency to take their homosexuality
as a matter of fun and pleasure-oriented is widely indicated by the ways they use digital social
media networks for socialisation both within rather exclusive gay forums and more inclusive
public sphere.

To note, Indonesia has been regarded as a country with the massive increase of digital
users in the last decade with about 55% of the populace or 143 million people; and with more
that 55% of them under the age of 35 years old in the latest 2017 survey (Teknopreneur &

10
APJII, 2017). Social media apps – including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other LGBT-
dedicated ones like Blued, Hornet and Grindr – have become a major social arena for young
gay people to socialise, seek boyfriends for long and intimate relationship or just to find
sexual partners (CF. Wu & Ward, 2018). Furthermore, the wider use of social media apps and
easy-going personalities to realise and accept their socially unwelcomed sexual orientation
have proceeded such elusive gay narratives of identity constructions (Cf. Manning, 2014,
2016).

LIMITED INTERESTS IN GAY ASSOCIATIONS AND LACK OF

UNDERSTANDING OF SEXUAL RIGHTS

These young Indonesian gays involved in the study have gone through a self-learning
process to express their sexual identity, which involves active efforts to seek information
homosexuality from various sources particularly from the Internet, form intimate relationship
– though relatively short-term – with gay partners , and establish interactions with fellow
young gays based on the Internet-based social media. However, these learning processes and
socialization have unlikely led them to look for information and to participate in associations
and/or organizations that provide support and fight for LGBT rights . Neither nationwide or
regional/local associations/organizations like Gaya Nusantara and Arus Pelangi and PGY
(Paguyuban Gay Yogyakarta or Association of Gay men In Yogyakarta) are hardly known for
them. Some informants raised questions regarding the goals and/or relevance of those
organizations while showing little or no interests to join in both at the recent time or the
future.

For them, those kinds of associations/organizations would openly and confidently

present them in the public as a distinct minority sexual group, which likely to invite
harassment and discrimination from the hardliners and conservative groups of the society.
Considering younger age and the tendency to conceal and/or not ready enough to open up the
gay identity which might cost their sociability within the society, the option to participate in
those associations are beyond their rational choices. Another view revealed during interviews
with informants is that the existence of those associations is not suited to their homosexual
understandings and practices still limitedly revolving around the seeking of the (short-term)
intimate relationships and of the sexual pleasures with boyfriends and other homosexual

11
partners. Though not exclusively linked, this might confirm the common understanding to
associate homosexuality (and other non-mainstream sexual orientations and practices) with
something for ‘fun and pleasure’ of youth social life excluded any forms of formality as
traditionally embedded in the religiously conservative Indonesian society (see Boellstorff,
2005; Murtagh, 2013). Some informants felt to be hindered to develop a positive meaning of
the gay associations thus limiting their intentions to join in and participate.

The other important topic barely explored during the interviews with young gay
informants in the study was issues on civic-political rights of minority sexual minorities as
well as their sexual rights in this democratic country. Their understanding on citizenship
rights was largely minimal limited on having the National ID after coming to age 17-years-old
and political rights to participate by giving votes in the elections. There was a common
understanding amongst them that due to their homosexuality, as a non-mainstream sexual
orientation sanctioned by the majority religions and cultural traditions of the Indonesian
society, they seem not have to be deserved an equal individual and citizenship status
compared to fellow members of the society. During the interviews, no one amongst the
informants have mentioned about the 2007 Yogyakarta Principles, an international agreement
to protect the sexual rights of LGBT and other minority sexual groups that was signed in their
city, Yogyakarta, which is now becoming a legal reference to legalise the same sex marriage
in Australia, the Netherland and others (see Pettinicchio, 2012). For them, there is just a little
chance that the government and/or the society will make a change by recognising and
accepting their sexual orientations any soon. Yet, they have realised such kind of
permissiveness within the society regarding their existence as long as they kept low profile
and followed the standard modesty of the love/intimate relationship as – applied to other
young heterosexual couple too – in the Indonesian public sphere.

The development represents the current challenges surrounding the efforts to promote
the recognition of different sexual orientations for LQBT people and to advocate their equal
social-cum-citizenship status as members of the Indonesian society. The lack of the formal
state recognition and protection combined with the still rampant attacks from hardliner
religious groups targeting these minority sexual people has put them in the very vulnerable
circumstances (see Oetomo & Boellstorff, 2014; Arivia & Boangmanalu, 2015; HRW, 2016).
Take for example, due to limited socializations into LGBT associations existing around the
country, it has cost them not to get good enough and valuable information and knowledge on

12
sexual health, sexual rights and good social life for homosexuals. As mentioned in previous
two sections, these young gays have shown strong sexual desires and eagerness to have active
sexual activities without considering their long-term sexual health. They also have lacked
basic capacities to build a positive, mutual and long-term intimate relationship with
boyfriends. If they keep these life-style – with sex, changing partners, excluded from the
established minority sexual groups and relatively novice about their sexual and citizenship
rights – for years to come, their future life might not as bright as fellow young Indonesians
(see Badgett, Hasenbush, & Luhur, 2017).

The lack of activism as shown by these young Indonesian homosexuals has been
considered as another important challenge revolving around the future life of minority sexual
groups. However it could be not fair to solely blame them for not interested in joining LGBT
associations and not well socialised with issues on sexual health and sexual rights of
homosexuals. The current socio-political situation of Indonesia – with lack of recognition and
protection – has contributed to their ignorance (see Oetomo & Boellstorff, 2014; Badgett,
Hasenbush, & Luhur, 2017; Wijaya & Davies, 2019). Any forms of participations in LGBT
associations or organizations would not guarantee their safety from physical/non-physical
attacks as well as discrimination from the rest of the society. Their choices to keep low profile
concealing their homosexuality yet keeping active sexually and pursuing short-term intimate
relationship with gay partners could be understandable though might not be good for them in
the long-term.

CONCLUSION

Throughout the article, I argue that there is an ongoing process of self-learning among
young gays to understand their sexual orientation and identities and building up intimate and
social relationship with fellow homosexuals largely concealed from the growing religiously
conservative Indonesian society. They have taken most of the information on being
homosexuals from the Internet and set digital social networks for friendship and forming
intimate relationship via ubiquitous social media apps. Their social life as young homosexuals
have been largely hidden from the society as well as from the established LGBT associations
around the country for safety reasons considering the lack of the state recognition and
protections and the largely ignorant and/or vigilant attitudes of the society against them. This

13
fact has led them to be less-aware and less-informed with important issues related to sexual
health, positive-mutual intimate relationship as well as sexual and citizenship rights for
minority sexual groups, which might hinder them to pursue the life and develop their potential
as equal as fellow young Indonesians into the years to come.

The formation and development of homosexual identity of these young Indonesian gays
have seemed to be eased and further facilitated by various sources on the Internet and
available/accessible social media apps for interaction with fellow members of these minority
sexual groups. It has particularly helped them to pass from the confusion stages to tolerance
and acceptance ones in their younger ages. Yet, with the persistent conservative religious
views of the Indonesian society not to recognise them and the lack of supports and legal
protection from the state, their homosexual identity might have not fully developed into the
pride and honour ones. Their preference to stay low hidden from the wider public life and
even from the established LGBT communities and organizations to advocate their citizenship
and sexual rights indicates deeper problems to face. These young Indonesian homosexuals
might not have or have no spaces and opportunities at all to fully develop their sexual
identity. The condition is potentially to disturb their private/individual life, jobs/professional
careers and participation within the society.

However, the important role of the Internet to create the digital world as a safe haven
for these young Indonesian gays to seek valuable knowledge and information, find and build
friendship and intimate relationship and help them to develop their sexual identity should be
celebrated with such a great caution. Considering the preference to conceal their homosexual
identity from the public, the situation have potentially created sort of a ‘parallel life’ through
the creation of the gay digital world where these Indonesian gays enjoys freedom and
meaningful life separated from the real life of the society. While for the short term, this might
have helped them to seek refuge amid the vigilant and harsh attitudes of the society, the
situation will bring harm for both sides. For the young Indonesian gays, it potentially alienate
and left them alone, hidden, unrecognized and vulnerable for exploitations and attacks from
fellow members of minority sexual groups as well as the wider members of the society for
various reasons. For the Indonesian society, the ‘parallel life’ might add another faction
within its inherited ‘plural society’ with existing segmentation, different life trajectories and
ethno-religio and political polarization hampering the social integration and cohesion in the
current modern time.

14
 Finally, the dissociation of these young Indonesian gays from the established LGBT
associations presents another important challenge which will also affect their identity
development. The organizations have been working for years to provide health/sexual
education, help developing sexual identity and advocate for equal citizenship rights for
minority sexual groups in the country. This leads to raise a question regarding the current
strategies and approaches pursued by LGBT associations toward their own members and
audience on issues of homosexuality and/or other related topics faced by homosexual people.
Yet, it also states that any efforts to promote the like of safe sex, gay pride and sexual rights
are meaningless for these young Indonesian homosexuals considering the ongoing ignorance
and resentment of the society and the lack of the state recognition. Their apathy needs be
concerned by anyone with attention and interests in the future life of minority sexual groups
in the country.

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