SELF LOVE

Remaja sebagai fase badai dan stress seringkali membuat remaja terjebak
dalam berbagai masalah yang membuat remaja menjadi kehilangan kendali atas
dirinya. Remaja mulai dihadapkan dengan masalah-masalah yang lebih kompleks
lagi. Bukan lagi hanya tentang bermain dan belajar namun sudah mulai
mendapatkan tanggungjawab yang lebih kompleks. Masa remaja adalah masa
eksplorasi banyak hal, mencoba-coba hal yang baru untuk bisa menemukan
identitas atau jati dirinya. Karena mencoba, tentu akan ada banyak trial and error.
Dari trial and error ini, remaja akan menunjukkan kemampuannya dalam
menghadapi masalah-masalah kehidupan yang ia alami. Pada fase ini,
kemampuan berpikir remaja sudah berkembang menuju dewasa. Sudah bisa
berpikir abstrak. Pengolahan informasi juga sudah lebih baik karena kemampuan
dan kapasitas otak meningkat, pengetahuan meningkat dari proses pembelajaran
formal dan informal, dan aspek-aspek fungsional dari kognitif seperti kemampuan
belajar, mengingat dan bernalar meningkat pada masa remaja. Diharapkan
perkembangan berpikir ini diiringi dengan perkembangan moral yang baik. Trial
and error akan mengajarkan anak untuk bisa mengatasi masalah dan kesulitan
yang ia alami. Jika ia berhasil maka akan muncul perasaan senang dan bahagia,
membentuk identitas dirinya. Namun jika yang terjadi banyak kegagalan, akan ada
kecenderungan ia menjadi rendah diri, tidak menemukan identitas diri yang pas
atau cocok dengannya.

What Causes Teenage Low Self Esteem?

At first glance it may seem that a teen that suffers from low self-esteem is just moody
or looking for attention. They may mope around, avoid social contact, or bury
themselves in social media, which can also be symptoms of depression. So what
causes a teen to feel so bad about him or herself?

Low self-esteem can be sparked by a number of factors. These might include:

 Poor academic performance. This may be due to a learning disability or ADHD,

or just underachievement. Whatever the reason, doing poorly in school while
watching peers managing their studies satisfactorily can lead to a feeling of not
being inferior or less intelligent than others.
 Interpersonal struggles. When a teen has difficulty with communication skills
they may find they struggle to establish lasting friendships. Being socially
awkward during the teen years is fairly common, and can be a source of great
distress and loss of confidence.
 Environmental factors. Some teens are sensitive about their socioeconomic
status or might feel embarrassed by their family situation. Teens tend to want to
fit in, so when they feel their family is somehow different from the other kids they
may begin to feel like they will never be accepted.
 History of neglect or abuse. Teens who were physically or sexually abused in
childhood often grow up to have serious mental health issues, including very low
self-esteem.
 Negative thought patterns. Teens can engage in a self-fulfilling prophecy
through negative thinking. If they stew about things or get stuck in a cycle of
negative thoughts, such as “nobody wants to hang out with me,” their dour
attitude will lead to exactly that, which then leads to low self-esteem.
  Negative body image. Teens become very focused on their physical body
image and appearance, which can lead to becoming overly critical of themselves.
Teens can be harsh to each other, body shaming or bullying others who don’t fit
the mold. This can result in low self-esteem.
Some kids may just feel as if they do not fit in with their peers. They may have
entirely different interests than their schoolmates and simply can’t relate, resulting in
few friends. The teen might be dealing with a gender identity issue that makes them
feel self-conscious. These can negatively impact a teen’s self esteem.
What Are the Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Your
Teenager?
Negative self-image manifests itself in a number of different ways. Being able to
identify the signs of distress can help the parent know how to help a teenager with
low self-esteem. These might include:

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 Isolating behaviors. Low self-esteem often dovetails with depression, each
which may lead to the teen preferring to spend time alone.
 Uses body language that signals low self-esteem, such as slouching or
walking with the head down.
 Excessive bragging. Teens who resort to bragging a lot are usually
overcompensating for their own low self-image.
 Disordered eating habits. Eating disorders can emerge as a result of low self-
esteem, as having control over their food intake is empowering to them. Binge
eating can be a sign of using food to soothe emotional distress.
 Negative tone and attitude when talking about others. A teen may put others
down to help them elevate his or her own sense of self-worth.
 Few friends. The teen may have few friends as a result of their negative
attitude or excessive bragging.
 Negative talk, such as “I am stupid,” “I will never pass that test,” or “I could
never do that.” A defeatist attitude.
 Irrational feelings of guilt or shame. Teens with low self-esteem may
personalize something that is not their fault, leading to feelings of guilt or shame.
 Constantly apologizing. Teens with low self-esteem may feel they are inferior
or not worthy, leading them to constantly apologize for everything they say or do.
 Prefers the fantasy world. Video games are an outlet where the teen can
escape to a fantasy world, versus engaging in conversation or social activities
where they may feel awkward.
 Avoids competition. Low self-esteem may prevent the teen from going out for
sports or extracurricular activities.
How Low Self-Esteem Can Negatively Impact a
Teen
Parents are right to be concerned by their teen’s low self-esteem. It is upsetting to
see a child struggling with a negative self-image. Low self-esteem can have a wide
range of adverse consequences, negatively impacting a teen’s quality of life and
limiting their opportunities.

When a teen suffers from low self-image they tend to avoid the situations that may
introduce the possibility of failure or ridicule. They lack the confidence to try new
things or set more challenging goals for themselves. This limits their exposure to
learning new skills or tackling more rigorous subjects in school, which can diminish
chances of going to the college of choice later. Low self-esteem can also affect
interpersonal relationships, as making new friends may be too intimidating and pose
the risk of being rejected.

5 Tips How to Help a Teenager With Low Self-

Esteem
When a parent wonders how to help a teenager with low self-esteem they may be
very concerned about their child’s mental health and want to help them. While it may
seem like a daunting task, parents can help their teen overcome low self-esteem
through some targeted efforts. Here are 5 helpful tips:

1. Pay attention to the manner in which you speak to your teen, and other family
members. Kids soak up parental words and behaviors. If the parent is overly
critical it sends the message that the teen is just not good enough, or that he or
she is somehow damaged goods. This messaging can foster the teen’s own
negative self-talk that aligns with the hypercritical parent’s. Instead, focus on the
teen’s positive traits with generous affirmations, and use criticism judiciously.
2. Give the teen some small projects (not routine chores) to tackle around the
house. To motivate them, offer to pay the teen for their work upon completion.
Completing a task satisfactorily can offer an opportunity to feel productive and a
sense of accomplishment. Each finished project helps build self-confidence,
which raises self-esteem.
3. Do not expect perfection out of your teen, as that just sets the teen up for
failure. Instead, praise the teen for effort made and the accomplishments
achieved through those efforts. Compliment them for kind and thoughtful
gestures or for any positive character traits, and avoid ridiculing or shaming the
teen.
4. Help them shift toward positive self-talk. How we talk to ourselves can have
powerful effects, whether negative or positive. If the teen often disparages him
or herself or doubts their abilities, show them how to turn that thinking around
toward something positive.
5. Encourage the teen to find a fit at school. Guide them toward selecting a club
or group that may resonate with their own interests where they will fit in. Many
high schools offer a myriad of extracurricular activities, something for everyone.

Self-Esteem For Teens

When teens have a strong sense of self, they’re not afraid to try new things. They feel equipped
to take responsibility for their lives. This allows them to take pride in their decisions and
accomplishments, too.
Teens with healthy self-esteem offer assistance to those around them. They recognize that they
can have an impact on the world through their actions.
As a result, they tend to behave in ways that further reinforce self-esteem.

The Low Self-Esteem Cycle

 When teens have Low Self-Esteem, critical thoughts cloud their mind. These thoughts create a
self-perpetuating cycle of poor decision making.
Bad choices get followed by harsh self-judgment and persistent regrets. Nagging feelings of
inadequacy prevent your child from learning from mistakes. The cycle continues.
Low self-esteem starts with a hesitance to try new things or meet new people. But negative
thinking paves the road for Dangerous Thoughts And Risky Behaviours.
Low self-esteem for teens gets manifested in a variety of ways including:
 self-destructive behaviours
 relationship troubles
 antisocial attitudes
 chronic negativity
 premature sexual activity
 use of drugs and alcohol to manage anxiety
What are some things that can cause this?

Predictors Of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem stems from a combination of life experiences and how individuals choose to
confront them.
Predictors Of Low Esteem include exposure to the following:
 bullying
 chronic medical conditions
 loneliness
 anxiety
 parental criticism or neglect
 negative friends and peers
 abuse or trauma
 disruptive life events (e.g. divorce, moving)
 mood disorders (e.g. depression)
Self-esteem comprises the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that we have about ourselves.
Changing these internal ideas and opinions doesn’t happen overnight.
But there are steps you can take to help your teen break out of a pattern of negative thinking.
Remember that once you implement these interventions, seeing results takes time.

The Root Of Self-Esteem Problems

At the heart of low esteem lurk inner criticism and inadequacy. So, start by helping your teen
recognize and challenge their inner critic.
Assist your teen in realizing that negative thoughts are judgment-based, not reality-centered.
Guide them to turn bad thoughts into self-affirming messages.
Teach your teen how to make positive self-statements. Then, encourage them to make
constructive talk a habit. Hold yourself to the same standard as a positive role model.
When talking with your teen, avoid personal attacks and ridicule. Don’t let, “Take the trash out”
turn into, “You always forget to do your chores because you’re lazy.”
Critical self-talk mirrors messages that we absorb about ourselves in early childhood. So, change
the conversation to overcome issues with self-esteem for teens.

Esteem-Building Tips
 Besides rewriting the inner dialogue, help your teen take these steps to improve self-worth:
 Celebrate what they do well.
 Focus on effort instead of perfection.
 Reframe mistakes into learning opportunities.
 Pinpoint trigger thoughts that cause low self-esteem.
 Get adventurous and try new things.
 Own their decisions and opinions.
 Give back to others through volunteering.
 Make wise decisions.
Support your teen’s growth and development by being generous with praise. This doesn’t mean
telling your son or daughter that they’re smart or good-looking.
It means diving into specific situations where they performed well (e.g. cleaning their room,
getting a B+ on their math test.) Use this descriptive praise to celebrate good choices and hard
work.

Decision Making And Self-Esteem

Decision making remains crucial to a teen’s success. Yet, developing decision-making skills is an
often overlooked process. And it requires practice.
So, find decision-making opportunities and guide your teen through them. Teach your teen how
to clarify an issue. Show your teen how to brainstorm possible solutions, pick a solution, and
evaluate the results.
Avoid judging your teen or belittling his/her choices. And don’t make decisions for your teen. This
activity should empower teens and make them feel adequate and capable.
That means you’ll have to let go of the reins. So, allow your teen to explore the possibilities. Let
them make some mistakes.
Finally, don’t let life get so serious that there’s no room for laughter. Sometimes, despite all of our
best intentions, we mess up. Being able to take these challenges in stride and even laugh about
them builds resiliency.

Final Thoughts On Self-Esteem For Teens

As a parent, you have a massive impact on your teen’s self-esteem. But teens also face external
pressures that can trigger negative thought patterns and the low self-esteem cycle.
During the teen years, children experience many hormonal and physiological changes. They
struggle to develop their own unique identity.
They deal with peer pressure and relationship dynamics that grow more and more complex. And
they may experience their first romantic attachments or struggle with relentless bullying.
If your teen suffers from issues (e.g. anxiety, depression, or other conditions) that go beyond
self-esteem, seek professional help. You, as a parent, have a significant influence on your teen’s
self-image. That said, some situations require a professional consultation with a skilled therapist.
Does your teen need help breaking the cycle of low self-esteem? Are you afraid that your teen’s
challenges may evidence a larger underlying cause, like depression or anxiety?

Confidence: pre-teens and teenagers

Confidence is the belief that you’ll be successful or that you’ve made the right choice
in a particular situation.
Confidence is related to:

 self-esteem, which is feeling good about yourself and feeling that you’re a
worthwhile person
 resilience, which is being able to bounce back from difficult experiences and cope
in hard or stressful situations
 self-compassion, which is being kind to yourself when things don’t work out the
way you hoped or planned.

If your child feels OK about themselves and also knows they can cope when things are
hard or don’t go right, they’re likely to have more confidence to try new things and tackle
difficult situations. It’s a positive cycle.

Why building confidence is important for pre-teens

and teenagers
Confidence helps teenagers feel they can make safe, informed decisions and avoid
people and situations that aren’t right for them.

If your child is confident, they’re also more likely to be assertive, positive, engaged,

enthusiastic and persistent.

Teenagers with low confidence are less likely to join in activities, more likely to hold back
in class, and might be more willing to give in to peer influence. When a teenage child
lacks confidence, they might expect to fail at things they try, or they might not try as hard
when things get tricky.

For example, a confident teenage child who has friendship problems might be upset for
a little while. But then they might realise that they can bounce back from the sadness
they’re feeling and focus on the positive aspects of their life, like other friends and family.
A less confident child might be more upset or feel that the problems are all their fault.
This could affect their self-esteem and leave them feeling that they aren’t worth being
friends with.

How to build confidence in pre-teens and teenagers

Here are some tips for building confidence in your child.

Be practical
Look for the practical and positive things your child can do to build skills, achieve goals
and experience success. Giving your child a clear strategy to improve their chances of
success is a great way to do this. For example, ‘Ada, if you want to be picked for the
basketball team, you need to make sure you’re listening to the coach and practising
between sessions’.

Give your child opportunities to try new things

When your child tries plenty of different things, they’ll get to know what they’re good at
and what they enjoy. Your child will also learn that most people do well at some things
and not so well at others – and that’s fine.
Encourage your child to keep trying
If your child fails at something, help them understand that everyone makes mistakes. It’s
OK if they can’t do something the first time they try, because they can improve with
practice. You could also encourage your child to be kind to themselves – for example, if
your child is unhappy with how they played in a netball game, they could say something
kind to themselves, like ‘That didn’t go well but I’m going to keep trying’.

Model confidence in your own ability

You can be a role model when it comes to confidence. For example, you could talk to
your child about what you’re going to do to try to succeed at a task. For example, you
might talk about how you’re feeling nervous about giving a presentation at work. You
could tell your child that you’re practising the presentation at home so that you’ll be well
prepared and confident on the day.

Encourage your child to act confident

Acting confident can help your child feel confident. You could coach your child to make
eye contact with others, smile, dress in a way that makes them good, and think about
their body posture. You can also encourage your child to do what they love, walk away
from situations they know aren’t good, and try not to focus on what they can’t do.

Practise social skills

If your child feels anxious in social situations, they might need some guidance from you.
For example, showing interest in other people’s activities and joining in conversations
can help build confidence.

Praise your child’s efforts

If an exam, interview or game doesn’t work out the way your child hoped, try to praise
your child for the effort they put into the activity, rather than the outcome. You could also
suggest some ideas about what they could do differently next time.

THE QUICK AND DIRTY

Parents can play a significant role in helping to build their teen’s self-esteem. Here
are five tips.

1. Give them responsibilities (to show you trust them with important tasks)
2. Encourage them to become problem solvers (to show you're confident they can meet
life's challenges)
3. Let them take healthy risks (to let them explore and build resilience)
4. Connect regularly and be a thoughtful listener (to show them you care)
5. Praise their efforts, not their innate qualities (to keep the focus on things they can
control)

A teenager's life isn't easy. They have constant access to social media, which can
make them feel like they're nowhere near as cool as their peers. They compete to
excel in academics, sports, and even to find friends they vibe with. Overcoming
these hurdles can seem monumental. It's hard to have positive self-esteem when
you never feel quite good enough!
You want your child to feel confident and to know that they are always good enough.

Of course, you want your child to feel confident and to know that they
are always good enough. Helping them cultivate a strong self-image means they'll
grow and thrive in all areas of life, both now and in the future. But helping them find
that confidence isn't always easy! Many teens not only struggle to find acceptance in
the outside world but also (and maybe more so!) within themselves.

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5 ways to boost your teen's self-esteem

Give them responsibilities

Let your teen know just how capable you think they are by trusting them with
responsibilities.

As a working mom, I rely on help with meals. My kids know they'll be starting dinner
on the days I get home late. They understand the benefits we all receive when I work
extra hours. By sharing the responsibilities of weekly dinners, my teens know I'm
counting on them. I value their participation and so does the rest of the family.

Communicating your needs is key. When your young adult knows he's fulfilling an
important role, his self-esteem will grow.

Encourage them to become problem solvers

Kids develop self-esteem by doing things that are hard for them. Babies learn to
crawl and then walk. Young children learn to tie their shoes, ride a bicycle, and read.
As parents, we cheer on these milestone events. As they grow, kids continue to
master new skills, leaving them with a great sense of pride. These accomplishments
help build a foundation for strong self-esteem. (Not to mention, problem-solving
skills ranked third out of 16 in The Harvard Business Review’s study on successful
leaders.)
 Our job as parents is not to solve everything for our kids—it's to teach them how to
find their own solutions.

Kids face daily challenges. They navigate peer pressure, meet school deadlines, and
learn new skills to be part of a sports team. Our job as parents is not to solve
everything for them; it's to teach them how to find their own solutions.

Ask your teen for input about everyday family decisions. Does she want more
privacy? Have her brainstorm ways to create a nook for herself. Let your son
coordinate carpooling for football practice. What's her advice to her younger sister for
handling friend rejection? There are endless opportunities for you to invite your child
to share their insight. And, in the process, you'll be demonstrating that you trust and
value their judgment.

QUICK TIP!
Ask your kids for advice when you're struggling with something. When my mother
passed away, I needed to get her home ready to sell. The process was endless, so I
asked my teens for advice on finding a fair way to distribute her things. They found
dozens of creative ways to streamline the process. It was helpful for me and they felt
great knowing they made a positive impact.

Let your child take healthy risks

Allowing space to explore and take risks is an incredible tool to build self-esteem.

From the moment your baby is born, it’s your job to nurture and protect him. You do
everything in your power to keep him healthy and safe from harm. It can be
exasperating to stand back and let your child fend for himself. But, allowing space to
explore and take risks is an incredible tool to build self-esteem.

Susan Sachs Lipman, the author of Fed Up With Frenzy: Slow Parenting in a Fast-
Moving World, says sometimes we have to show kids what risk looks like. In the
article Why our kids should take risks—sometimes even (slightly) dangerous ones,
she said, “Most of the traits we want for our kids—resilience, confidence, empathy,
academic achievement—flourish when parents and children have time to be together
and experience role modeling and positive support.”

My eight kids and I went white river rafting several years ago. It was out of my
comfort zone, but my kids loved that we were doing it together. We hit a few rough
spots but enjoyed the experience. It was thrilling and satisfying to see everyone do
so well.

New experiences can offer another healthy tool to feel successful and confident.

RELATED: 4 Ways Failure Can Benefit Your Child

 Connect regularly and be a thoughtful listener

Kids want to know that they rank highly in our busy lives. But we all get caught up in
the grind of work, running a household, and trying to keep on top of finances and
bills. When it comes to family life with our teens, it's easy to be lax with our
interactions. Look for opportunities throughout your busy day and week to connect
with your teenager. When you do, you send an important message: "You mean a lot
to me!"

Richa Bhatia, MD, a dual Board Certified Child, Adolescent, and Adult
Psychiatrist, recommends that parents and their kids spend at least 10 to 20 minutes
of meaningful time together each day. Engage in an activity of your teen’s choice or
strike up a conversation about a subject they’re interested in. Bhatia encourages
parents to set the goal to be an active listener when connecting with their teen. This
reinforces that you care, building their self-worth.

Your child knows when you’re listening, so make important moments count. By
giving him your full attention, you’re teaching him what good listening skills are.

QUICK TIP!
For a heartfelt look at a teen’s view on self-esteem, watch this TEDxYOUTH
talk by Caileigh Lydon, a ninth-grade student.

Praise your teen's efforts, not their innate qualities

Praise is a powerful tool, especially when it’s given genuinely for a job well done. But
make sure to praise your kids for their efforts and not innate qualities and traits they
can't control. We can't all be natural-born geniuses, but we can work hard to expand
our knowledge. Most of us aren't born looking like models, but we can have fun with
creative self-expression.

Three of my children overcame significant learning disabilities. Their progress was

slow but steady. We learned from the experts that the best way to praise children
with low self-esteem is to compliment them on their behavior. Here are a couple of
examples.

Praising a quality

You're so smart! 

Praising effort

The extra time you spent on your science project really paid off! 

Praising a quality

You look beautiful! 

Praising effort
 Wow! I love the creativity you put into planning your outfit today. 

Constructive praise helps kids to appreciate their own efforts. Self-esteem comes
from working hard toward a goal and feeling good about it.

Low Self-Esteem: Tips for Helping Your Teen

The teenage years are often a very volatile phase of life.

Moods, behaviors, and relationships may swing up and down on a daily, or
even hourly basis. And this is often a time when many teens struggle with
periods of low self-esteem. Estimates say that up to half of all adolescents
will struggle with low self-esteem.  

But how do you know when your teenager is dealing with low self-esteem?
Parents of teenagers already know that open communication is also a
challenge of the teenage years.  

Check out the following warning signs that your teenager may be dealing with low self-esteem:  

 Observe when your teenager is talking to others. Often, a teen with low
self-esteem will look down or to the side when talking to peers or
especially adults. This is an indication that your teenager doesn’t feel
“worthy” when interacting with the other person.  

 Your teenager may make passing statements like “I could never do that”
or “I will definitely fail this Chemistry test.” Negative “I statements” are
common indicators of low self-esteem in teens. These statements are a
reflection of your teen’s opinions of him, and when these are negative, it’s
a good sign that your teenager is struggling with low self-esteem.  

 Notice your teenager’s conversations about others. Is the tone usually

punitive or negative? Does he often put others down or seem to focus on
the negative things about peers? If so, this could be a cue that your
teenager is putting down others as a way to combat his or her own low
self-esteem.  
 Watch for body language signs. You can tell a lot by observing the
nonverbal communication of others. Does your teen’s posture look
“minimizing,” that is, does he walk with his head down and looking at the
ground? A teen with low self-esteem often carries himself in stark contrast
to a confident, outgoing teen.  

 Watch for excessive bragging. Whether about appearance, academics,

athletics abilities, or anything else, excessive bragging is a good sign your
teenager may be masking his low self-esteem. A teenager, or adult for
that matter, who values himself typically has no need to brag about
accomplishments. This type of behavior generally means the teenager is
trying to convince others he is valuable, thus adding personal value to
himself.  

 The amount of social interactions and peer activities your teenager

engages in is often another clue. Does your teenager seem to hide out in
his room all day and night? Or does he have little in terms of peer
interactions? A teenager with a poor social life is often a good candidate
for low self-esteem.  

 Watch to see if your teen seems to constantly apologize, even when it

seems inappropriate. Teens with low self-esteem often feel they are
unworthy, can’t do anything right, or simply “mess up” all the time. A
teenager who constantly seems to be apologizing for things, even when
socially it doesn’t seem necessary, is often a teenager with low self-
esteem.  

Some helpful tips to improve your teenager’s low self-esteem:  

 Focus on effort and accomplishments, not PERFECTION! Teach and

encourage your teenager to be proud of his efforts instead of always
trying to be #1 or excel at everything he tries to do. Mistakes should be
viewed as learning opportunities, not failures.  

 Teach your teenager how to use Positive Self-Talk. Positive Self-Talk

helps your teenager boost low self-esteem by turning negative thinking
into positive thinking. Low self-esteem is generally perpetuated by these
self-disparaging, negative self-talk statements. Statements like “I can do
this. I’ve studied hard,” and “I know I tried my best and that’s all that
matters” should be encouraged to promote self esteem.  

 Encourage your teenager to try new things. Trying new things and
meeting new friends can be a great self-esteem booster for your teen.  
 Help your teen learn to set goals and then take steps to accomplish them.
This is a learned process that can help a teen with low self-esteem feel
better about himself.

So there you have it! Some warning signs of a teen with low self-esteem
and what to do for your teenager who may have them. 

We all experience moments of self-doubt and uncertainty. Even the most confident
and happy people have moments where they think, “I’m such a failure.”

It’s a part of being human. However, if you find yourself having these kinds of
negative thoughts frequently or letting these feelings get in the way of living a
healthy and happy life, it may be time to do something about it.

Luckily, there are many ways to increase your sense of self-worth. It probably
won’t be easy, but it can certainly be done.

Building self-esteem can be a difficult, though rewarding, journey in adulthood.

It’s much easier to develop this characteristic at a young age and to foster it while
growing up. If you are a parent, child therapist, teacher, or any other valued adult
in the life of a child,  you can use these tools to begin cultivating a healthy sense
of self-esteem in the children in your life.

We’ll provide several methods and activities for building self-esteem, starting with
self-esteem worksheets for young children and ending with self-esteem worksheets
for adults.

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our 3 Self-
Compassion Exercises for free. These detailed, science-based exercises will not
only help you show more compassion and kindness towards yourself but will also
give you the tools to help your children, young clients or students learn how to
practice self-compassion and develop healthy self-esteem.

You can download the free PDF here.

This article contains:

 Self-Esteem Worksheets for Kids in Primary School
 7 Self-Esteem Activities for Teens in Middle or High School
 Exercises for Building Self-Esteem in College Students and
Adults
 Tips for Overcoming Low Self-Esteem and Low Self-Worth
 Ten Days to Self-Esteem Improvement: An Action Plan
  A Take Home Message
 References
Self-Esteem Worksheets for Kids in Primary School
Primary or elementary school is a fantastic time to start helping a child develop
self-esteem. A child’s mind is generally much more flexible and open than an
adult’s, so it’s ideal to begin planting the seeds of healthy self-esteem at an early
age.

The worksheet and activities listed below are some of the ways you can help a
child develop the self-esteem that will act as a buffer against some of life’s most
difficult obstacles and challenges.

Something About Me: Self-Esteem Sentence Completion

This is an activity that both children and adults can get engaged with, although this
worksheet is geared toward children. A similar worksheet for adults is included
later in this article.

This “Something About Me” worksheet is intended to help children identify their
own positive traits and characteristics and to recognize their accomplishments.

It’s a simple worksheet with six sentence prompts and space for a child to fill in
the blanks.
 The sentence prompts are:

 My friends think I’m awesome because…

 My classmates say I’m great at…
 I feel very happy when I…
 Something that I’m really proud of is…
 I make my family happy when I…
 One unique thing about me is…

These sentences are constructed with clear and uncomplicated language that most
elementary school students should understand, but it may help to go over this
worksheet with your child. Encourage your child to think about each sentence and
not to rush.

Completing this activity can help children build the foundations of an authentic
and healthy self-esteem that they can carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Click to see the Something About Me Worksheet.

Things I Like About Me Worksheet

This worksheet was created to help young children learn how uniqueness makes a
person beautiful. This worksheet should be completed with a parent or other
trusted adult to help explain the distinction between inner beauty and outer beauty.

The worksheet includes the following instructions:

“You are beautiful because you are unique, both on the inside and on the outside.
Look inside and outside at your personality, what you can do, how you treat
others, and who you are, then write down some things that you like about you on
this mirror.”

Also included is the prompt “Things that make me beautiful” and space to write
five things. It’s okay to write something external, like “my hair” or “my eyes,” but
make sure your child writes at least one or two inner traits or qualities in addition
to the external qualities.

It’s never too early to start combatting the extreme focus society places on external
beauty, and this worksheet is a great start. Of course, it can also be used with boys
to help them learn the same lesson.

Click to download the Things I Like About Me Worksheet and give it a try.

“I’m Great Because…” Worksheet

This worksheet can be an excellent way for young children to explore what makes
them good and likable people, and to help them build a foundation of healthy self-
esteem. The instructions are to print it out and complete the statements—without
worrying too much if the user can’t complete them all—and keeping the worksheet
handy for the next time the user experiences feelings of low self-esteem.

The worksheet lists 20 sentence-completion prompts that children fill out with
something positive about themselves. A reason, in other words, that they are great.
These prompts include the following:

 I like who I am because…

 I’m super at…
 I feel good about my…
 My friends think I have an awesome…
 Somewhere I feel happy is…
 I mean a lot to…
 Others reckon I’m a great…
 I think I’m a pretty good…
 Something I really enjoy is…
 I really admire myself for…
 My future goals are…
 I know I can achieve them because I’m…
 I’m naturally gifted at…
 Others often praise my…

Completing this worksheet will give your child an opportunity to list all of the
good things about himself or herself without fear of being overly proud or self-
absorbed.

It’s good to be both realistic and positive about yourself, and this is a good way to
begin a habit of positive realism. Children may need an adult’s help in completing
this worksheet, but try to let them come up with their own ideas about the traits and
characteristics they like about themselves.

Try this I’m Great Because… Worksheet for yourself.

Friendship Ingredients

This is a great worksheet for helping children learn about what makes them good
friends and what they should look for in a friend. Completing this worksheet will
likely take some guidance from an adult, but it can be a positive way for children
to start thinking about what kind of people they want to be.

It’s a simple activity with only one short set of instructions:

“Making friends is like making a cake. List the traits that are important for making
friends”

Next, it provides spaces for the child to write down five traits—or friendship
“ingredients”—and explain why they are important in a friend. The simple nature
of this worksheet allows children to put their imagination to good use.

They might need some help from an adult, but they should be able to come up with
several traits that they find important in a friend.

Click to download this Friendship Ingredients Worksheet and help your child

learn how to both find and be a good friend.

Self-Esteem Journal For Kids

This activity is great for any age, but this template is meant specifically for young
children. We’ll explore an adult version later in the article.

Keeping a self-esteem journal is a great way for children to begin thinking about
the good things that they do and experience, setting them up for a positive outlook
on life. This worksheet lists three-sentence completion prompts for each day of the
week, starting with Monday.

The prompts include “One thing I did great at today…,” “Today it was interesting
when…,” and “I made someone smile when…”
Completing these prompts every night for a week should help your child feel more
optimistic and begin focusing on the good things that happen instead of the bad.
Follow this link to download and use this Self-Esteem Journal Worksheet with
your child.

7 Self-Esteem Activities for Teens in Middle or High

School

While it’s best to start self-esteem building young, there is still tons of room for
growth and development in this area for middle- and high-schoolers.

The activities and worksheets below can help your teenager start or continue to
build a healthy sense of self-esteem.
Designing Affirmations Worksheet

Affirmations are a popular way to help combat low self-esteem in both adults and
adolescents (Bloch & Merritt, 1993; Lynch & Graham-Bermann, 2000).

This worksheet will guide adolescents through one of the most popular, tactical
approaches to designing affirmations. You’ll find instructions on how to create
effective affirmations, as well as example goals, affirmations, and tips to help you.

In a nutshell:

 Affirmations start with the words “I am…”;

  Affirmations are positive. Never use the word “not” in an affirmation. For
example, instead of writing “I am not afraid to express myself,” you could
write, “I am confidently sharing my opinion”;
 Affirmations are short;
 Affirmations are specific. For example, instead of writing, “I am driving a
new car,” you would write, “I am driving a new black Range Rover”;
 Affirmations are in the present tense and include a word that ends in “-
ing”;
 Affirmations have a “feeling” word in them. Examples include
“confidently,” “successfully,” or “gracefully”;
 Affirmations are about yourself. They should be about your own behavior,
never someone else’s.

Once you have read and understood the guidelines, the worksheet provides space
for you to write down some affirmations of your own. Refer back to the guidelines
as much as you need.

When you have a set of affirmations ready to put to use, you can try these tips for
using them:

 Use positive self-talk;

 Set big goals and stay mindful of your goals (write them down and place
them somewhere you can see them every day);
 Say and visualize your affirmations every day;
 Take time to see yourself accomplishing the goals you’ve set;
 Think about how good it will feel once you have accomplished your goals.
To get into the habit, try to start by sticking with a schedule—for example, you
might try repeating your affirmations:

1. When you wake up

2. On your break at school or work
3. Before going to sleep

Visualizing and planning for success makes it much more likely that you will
achieve your goals. If needed, give your child guidance and support when coming
up with affirmations, but allow them to take ownership of this activity and see the
amazing results of their commitment.

You can access the Designing Affirmations Worksheet here.

Understanding Self-Confidence Worksheet

This worksheet can be completed by adolescents who wish to build up their self-
esteem and self-confidence. The completed worksheet can be kept handy for the
next time you’re feeling low in self-esteem and need a boost.

You can always your worksheet and be reminded of your personal power, and use
it to transform situations in which you feel less confident.

The worksheet is divided into three parts:

Part A involves thinking of a situation in which you felt confident and experienced
a sense of self-worth, and answering the following questions:

1. What is the situation?

2. What do you say to yourself about the situation (self-talk)? How do you feel
physically?
3. What sensations and feelings do you have in your body?
4. What do you do as a result of this?

Part B involves thinking of a recent situation in which you felt lacking in self-
confidence and answering the same four questions listed above.

In Part C, you are instructed to look at your answers to Parts A and B, then use that
information to answer these questions:

1. What positive statement could I say to myself to be reminded of my

power?
 2. What could I do that would help me feel differently? (For example, create a
visualization in which you remember how you felt in Part One.)
3. What could I do differently next time I am in this situation? What actions
would empower me?

Completing this worksheet will help adolescents explore their feelings in two very
different situations, analyze their responses to these situations, and come up with
an action plan for the next time they experience low self-esteem. This exercise will
help them take control of their development and give them a sense of ownership in
their own well-being, a trait that will serve them well in the future.

Click this link to see the Understanding Self-Confidence Worksheet.

You, At Your Best Worksheet

This worksheet is a great way to help clients reflect on the personal character
strengths that define them at their best. The exercise aims to use narrative and
storytelling; clients are asked to identify their unique strengths by writing a story
about a past experience where they were “at their best”.

It takes them through four stages:

1. Start by asking your client to recall a specific occasion during which they
were at their very best. It could be a problem or difficult time that they
overcame successfully, or where they accomplished something they were
proud of. It should be a situation in which they felt energized, positive, and
proud, and they will create a (true) story about it.

2. They then write the story, emphasizing their own character strengths and
personal values in the narrative. Using descriptive language, this second
step is about recounting what happened, what they brought to the
situation, the emotions they felt, and/or the ways they helped others.

3. Your client’s story should be structured with a start, middle, and a powerful
ending. Writing the narrative might be easier if they try to vividly
reconstruct the experience in their minds while doing so.

4. This handout/homework worksheet then instructs the client to go back

over their story, circling or highlighting keywords and phrases that they feel
relate to their personal strengths.
This subjective, feelings-based exercise is a useful way for you or your client to
reflect on their unique character strengths and qualities, helping to enhance their
self-esteem.

Find the You, At Your Best Worksheet in our Toolkit.

My Wins

This activity is especially great for kids and younger teens who are crafty and
creative, although people of all ages and talents can take part.

The My Wins Worksheet is an artistic prompt for you or your child to draw,
paint, or otherwise represent the things—their achievements and qualities—about
themselves that are important to them. You may wish to use a theme for this
activity or for each ‘win’, like “family,” but it’s okay to engage in this activity with
no specific theme in mind as well.

This is a simple worksheet that has only the outline of different certificates. In
each, your child can represent the personal qualities, achievements, and traits that
they value.

For example, if your child is dealing with self-esteem issues, he or she can use the
theme “What Makes Me Great” and focus on filling the frames with reasons why
he or she is a good friend, a good child, a good student, and a good person in
general.

Before You Die

This activity utilizes a very basic technique that you can build upon as needed. The
point of this activity is to help your client identify meaningful goals that are
connected with their personal values.

Striving toward and achieving one’s goals is an important way to build self-esteem.
You build the most solid foundation of self-esteem and self-confidence with the
building blocks of positive experience and success. The more individuals recognize
their ability to meet the goals they set for themselves, the more likely they are to
feel confident and worthy.

This ‘Before You Die’ Bucketlist Worksheet provides more information on the

theory behind goal-setting, motivation, and positive behavior change, as well as an
applied framework that will guide your client through the process.
  The first column of the table provided is for specifying the goal that your
client would like to accomplish ‘before they die’. Try to make these as
specific as possible, regardless of whether or not they are practical. A
useful question to ask when filling out this column is, what would I like to
accomplish if I had only one year to live?

 In the second column, the client is encouraged to dig a bit deeper into the
personal motivations for this particular goal. Why is it important to them?
How might it enhance the meaning in their life?

 Use the final column to rate the meaningfulness of these items on a scale
of zero to ten, where 0 = not at all meaningful, and 10 is extremely
meaningful.

At the end of this exercise, the user should have a list—or at least the beginnings of
a list—which features meaningful life goals, a stepping stone toward confidence,
self-worth, and self-esteem.

Reframing Negative Judgments

A useful exercise from our Positive Psychology toolkit, this worksheet will help
adolescents and adults who are struggling to accept their failures. It’s a reframing
activity to help change how we perceive these threats to our self-esteem, and to
help us learn and improve our chances of future success.

We all fail sometimes, and even as we mature it helps to understand that failure
happens to everybody—it doesn’t mean the person who failed is a failure.

The instructions on this worksheet direct users to describe the situation that has had
an impact on their self-esteem. In the next column, they are asked to write down
their initial judgments. For a situation such as “A friend kept me waiting 15
minutes”, for instance, the initial judgment column might read: “He doesn’t care
about me”.

Next is the column in which they will write the emotions and feelings this
triggered, which in this scenario might be anger or disappointment.

In the far right column, you or the user writes down a more objective description of
the scenario that is fact-based and less black-and-white.

This worksheet encourages the development of an extremely valuable skill:

recognizing that disappointments are a part of life and that they can lead to even
greater success.
Sometimes we have to experience seemingly negative things in order to learn the
lessons that propel us to greatness. Learning not to view them as dichotomous (one
or the other, good or bad) helps us maintain self-worth in the face of them, a
crucial part of building a healthy sense of self-esteem.

To download this worksheet, click here.

Exercises for Building Self-Esteem in College Students

and Adults

Again, while building self-esteem is a practice best started young, it’s never too
late to begin investing in your own self-worth.

 
Self-Esteem Sentence Stems Worksheet

This worksheet leads the reader through a sentence completion exercise for adults.
This exercise is exactly what it sounds like: It includes prompts with space for you
to complete the sentence in the way that feels right to you.

Completing this exercise can help you explore your thoughts and feelings, and to
open up and share them with others. For users of this worksheet, this exercise will
help them become more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with
others, making it easier to work through their self-esteem issues.

Next, it instructs users to set aside 5-10 minutes several times a week to complete
the worksheet. After two weeks of completing the worksheet, users can review
their responses to get an idea of their general outlooks on life and see how things
have changed since they began.

The intended result is for the answers to become more positive over time.

After the instructions, the sentence prompts are listed, including:

 I have always wanted to…

 I’m secretly afraid of…
 This week I would enjoy doing…
 I often look forward to…
 I feel something that the future holds for me is…
 I get my strength from…
 One person couldn’t live without is…
 I would never…
 It made me feel great when…
 I love when…
 I find it hard to…
 My dream is to one day that…
 It makes me angry when…
 I sometimes fear that…
 This week is going to be…
 Something I deeply desire is…
 I flourish when…
 This week I hope to…
 Something I do secretly…
 I find it hard to admit…

Answering these questions can give you helpful insight into yourself, what makes
you happy, and what you struggle with. If you’re a therapist, you can introduce this
exercise to clients by filling out a few prompts together.
This allows you to communicate important messages to your client and to help
them feel comfortable with the exercise. For example, you can finish the prompt
“Right now, I’m happy that…” with “my favorite hockey team won last night.”
This can be a good way to defuse tension and start off with an easy and relatively
harmless example.

Download and work through this Self-Esteem Sentence Stems Worksheet.

Self-Esteem Journal Template

For those of you who have heard of or kept a gratitude journal, this exercise might
feel familiar. Not only can journaling help you find more things in your life to be
grateful for, but it can also give you the opportunity to reflect on your own
thoughts and feelings, leading to discovery and understanding of the self
(Kaczmarek et al., 2015).

The worksheet begins with a short paragraph about the potential benefits of

journaling, including improved self-esteem and well-being. Users are encouraged
to use this template to reflect on the meaningful moments of their days and review
the changes in their emotions and general outlooks over time.

Next, there are five tables set up with prompts and space to write. The first table
includes the following prompts:

1. 5 things that made me feel peaceful today:

2. I felt proud of myself when:
3. I enjoyed:

The prompts in the second table are:

1. My family admire me for my:

2. 5 small successes I had today were:
3. The highlight of my day was:

The third table includes:

1. My best attribute is:

2. 3 unique things about me are:
3. I feel most proud of myself when:

In the fourth table, the prompts are:

1. I’m excited for:

 2. 5 things or people I feel thankful for are:
3. I am in my element when:

The final table lists these three prompts:

1. 5 ways my life is awesome:

2. My biggest success this week was:
3. I feel best about myself when:

You have probably noticed that these prompts are intended to provoke positive
responses. The positive focus of this exercise is what sets it apart from ordinary
journaling or writing in a diary. Even when you’ve had a rough day, these prompts
can help you find the good things in your life and remind you that no matter how
hard things have been, you’ve survived them.

If you are a therapist providing this worksheet to your client(s), encourage them to
think critically about what their answers reveal. This exercise can be a quick and
short-term mood boost, or, with commitment and effort, it can facilitate positive
growth and development.

Click the link for this Self-Esteem Journal For Adults Worksheet.

Gratitude Worksheet and Journal Template

If you are not familiar with the gratitude journal technique, this worksheet is an
excellent way to give it a try. Research has linked gratitude to a multitude of
positive outcomes, like increasing well-being (Wood, Froh, & Geraghty, 2010),
improving relationships (Algoe, Haidt, & Gable, 2008), increasing optimism
(Dickens, 2019), and helping people find meaning in their work (Waters, 2012).

Gratitude journaling is one of the best ways to inject more gratitude into your daily
life, and it can be done in just a few minutes a day. The gratitude journal worksheet
opens with some tips to help you journal effectively, including recording at least
five things you are grateful for each day, aiming for one new thing to be grateful
for each day, and reading through old entries to see how far you have come since
you began.

The template is simple, with space for the date, and two prompts below.

 Alongside Blessings in the second row, list things that you feel thankfulness
for. Examples might be an encouraging friend, particular capabilities or
qualities that you possess, or even just being alive.
  The second prompt, Reflections, encourage you to elaborate on them.
Research suggests that this reflection builds on the positive impacts of
simply listing things that you’re grateful for, by focusing your thoughts on
them in detail. For instance, you might use this last row to consider what
things might look like if you didn’t have that supportive partner or that
ability to be patient.

It’s a good idea to fill in the journal once or twice a week, thinking of something
that you have not yet expressed gratitude for. More examples include a teacher
who profoundly affected your development whom you never thanked or something
you may take for granted, like good general health. There are many ways to set up
and complete a gratitude journal, but this is a great way to begin.

Find this useful Gratitude Journal as a PDF.

Reframing Critical Self-Talk Worksheet

This exercise is a great way to address negative automatic thoughts and self-talk,
challenges that people with low self-esteem and/or mental health issues often face.
It’s not surprising that talking down to yourself will lead to and exacerbate self-
esteem problems, but the good news is that it is not an unsolvable problem.

Challenging negative self-talk is a core technique in cognitive behavioral

therapy (CBT), a type of therapy that has proven effective in helping a wide range
of conditions, diagnoses, and problems. CBT helps clients discover some of their
most deeply held, often unconscious, beliefs, allowing them to evaluate these
beliefs and challenge those that are not useful.

This reframing worksheet opens with an explanation of negative self-talk and how
you can identify and confront it.

Next, the tool is described. It includes two main steps intended to help you
understand where your critical thoughts are coming from and what they feel or
sound like.

1. Increasing your awareness of self-critical talk: To begin tapping into your

self-awareness, take some deep breaths. When you realize that your inner
critic is doing the talking inside your head—perhaps when you are
unsuccessful at something—pay attention to what that self-talk sounds
like. Are there specific core phrases that you tend to say to yourself? How
does that negative voice sound?
 2. Taking action to soften your self-critical voice: Once you’ve become aware
of when you’re criticizing yourself, it’s time to try self-compassion instead.
In these instances, the worksheet suggests, consider what you might say to
someone you care about if they were in the same scenario.

Try changing the mental tone you’re using and take on a more positive one
you might use when you’re feeling good about who you are. Finally, try to
come to terms with what exactly it is that you’re being self-critical about. Is
there something you might learn from this criticism if it were presented
more constructively instead?

This tried-and-true technique will help you or your client recognize self-directed
criticism and challenge it on the spot, leading to greater self-esteem and peace with
oneself.

If one of your clients is having trouble coming up with positive responses to their
self-critical thoughts, encourage them to consider what they would say to a dear
friend or loved one who was struggling with these thoughts, as the sheet suggests.
Sometimes it’s easier to be kind to others than to ourselves, but that is something
that can be remedied with time and practice.

Click here to view or download this worksheet.

Identifying and Challenging Core Beliefs

Similar to challenging negative thoughts, it can be an extremely effective

therapeutic technique to discover, identify, and challenge your core beliefs. We
often carry negative or false unconscious or semiconscious beliefs, never stopping
to recognize the values and norms that we buy into on a daily basis.

This exercise will help you or your client explore and define deeply held beliefs
that guide thoughts and behavior.

The worksheet begins with an explanation of what core beliefs are:

“Core beliefs can be defined as the very essence of how people see themselves,
others, the world, and the future.”

Next, it explains how core beliefs can influence one’s thinking and emotions
through an example interaction.

“Interaction: You are attending an interview for a job that you really want.”
In this situation, you must choose between three briefcases to bring along to work,
each representing a different core belief:

Purple briefcase—“I’m talented”

Internal thought associated: “I am naturally adept with lots of experience in this

field. I deserve this role.”

Your reaction: You feel confident as you enter the interview, and subsequently
land the job.

Orange briefcase—“I’m unsure whether I’m talented.”

Internal thought associated: “I have lots of experience and I think I’m good, but
someone else will probably get the job over me.”

Your reaction: You don’t feel great heading into the interview. You relatively
positive feedback but don’t land the role.

Green briefcase—“I’m not talented.”

Internal thought associated: “There’s no way I’m getting this job. Other candidates
are much more capable than me.”

Your reaction: You don’t get the job.

These examples show that the thoughts we carry with us, everywhere we go, can
have a profound impact on our feelings, our behavior, and the associated outcomes.

Finally, the worksheet presents an opportunity to apply what you have learned
from these examples to your own life. You are prompted to identify three negative
core beliefs and three reasons why each belief is not true.

It can be difficult to identify the first core belief, especially if you have several
very deeply held negative beliefs that you have never even considered challenging
before. However, once you get the ball rolling with the first belief, it should get
easier as you go.

To give this Core Beliefs Suitcases worksheet a try, follow the link.

Assertive Communication Worksheet

Low self-esteem and poor or underdeveloped communication skills often go hand-

in-hand (Blood & Blood, 2004). It can be difficult to share feelings with others if
you don’t feel your feelings have value, an all-too-common symptom of low self-
esteem.

Learning to communicate assertively will not only help you form better
relationships and find new opportunities, but it can also facilitate a shift in the way
you think about yourself (Law & Sivyer, 2003).

The word “assertive” may make people with low self-esteem hesitant. Being
assertive might sound overly aggressive, pushy, or just too out of character.

The worksheet addresses this right away with an explanation about how three
common communication styles differ:

 Aggressive Communication
Defined by speaking in a mean, harsh, or sarcastic manner, taking instead
of compromising, maintaining glaring eye contact and speaking in loud or
threatening tones, putting others down, being inappropriately honest, and
bullying or trampling others.

 Assertive Communication
Defined by being firm but polite, compromising, maintaining warm and
friendly eye contact and a conversational tone, building up others and
oneself, being appropriately honest, and standing up for oneself.

 Passive Communication
Defined by being too nice or weak, being overly compliant, avoiding eye
contact, speaking softly, putting oneself down, being emotionally
dishonest, and allowing others to trample you in conversation.

When laid out in this way, it is clear that being an assertive communicator is
nothing like being an aggressive communicator. Assertive communication is
simply expressing yourself honestly and directly, while being polite and open.

The worksheet provides space and instructions to record three scenarios in which
you communicated assertively and list the emotions you felt afterward. If you can’t
think of an instance where you have communicated assertively, don’t worry! You
can make that a goal for yourself in the next week.

You can see this Assertive Communication Worksheet for yourself and begin

building up your communication skills.

 
Tips for Overcoming Low Self-Esteem and Low Self-
Worth

Apart from these worksheets and activities, there are tons of tips out there for
building self-esteem and self-worth.

Dr. John M. Grohol (2011) offers these six tips:

1. Take a self-esteem inventory to give yourself a baseline. This can be as

simple as writing down 10 of your strengths and 10 of your weaknesses.
This will help you to begin developing an honest and realistic conception of
your self.
 2. Set realistic expectations. It’s important to set small, attainable goals that
are within your power. For example, setting an extremely high expectation
or an expectation that someone else will change their behavior is virtually
guaranteed to make you feel like a failure.

3. Stop being a perfectionist and acknowledge both your accomplishments

and mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and trying to be will only lead to
disappointment. Acknowledging your accomplishments and recognizing
your mistakes is the way to keep a positive outlook while learning and
growing from your mistakes.

4. Explore yourself. The importance of knowing yourself and being at peace

with who you are cannot be overstated. This can take some trial and error,
but it’s a lifelong journey that should be undertaken with purpose and zeal.

5. Be willing to adjust your self-image. We all change as we age and grow, and
we must keep up with our ever-changing selves if we want to set and
achieve meaningful goals.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing ourselves to others is a trap

that is extremely easy to fall into, especially with social media and the
ability to project a polished and perfected (and false) appearance. The only
person you should compare yourself to is you.

Henrik Edberg (2017) offers a similar set of tips for improving your self-esteem:

 Say “stop” to your inner critic;

 Use healthier motivation habits;
 Take a two-minute self-appreciation break;
 Each evening, write down three things that you can appreciate about
yourself;
 Do the right thing;
 Fight against perfectionism;
 Handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way;
 Be kinder toward other people;
 Try something new;
 Stop falling into the comparison trap;
 Spend more time with supportive people (and less time with destructive
people);
 Remember the “whys” of high self-esteem.

To read these tips in more detail, you can visit Edberg’s blog post on improving
self-esteem here and read more about positive body image here.
 

Ten Days to Self-Esteem Improvement: An Action Plan

While it can take time to build up a solid sense of self-esteem, it’s possible
to kickstart the process.

For a guide on quick ways to put the process in

motion, check out the book Ten Days to Self-Esteem by psychiatrist and author
David Burns. While self-help books are often hit-or-miss, Burns has an impressive
record of success with his patients and his readers. At the very least, it can’t hurt to
give it a shot.

This book helps the reader identify the causes of low self-esteem and provides
activities and exercises to start increasing self-esteem. It’s written in plain English,
not psychiatric jargon, and has earned an impressive four-star rating on Amazon.

If you don’t have the patience to go through an entire book, there are some simple
things you can do now to jumpstart your self-esteem journey:

1. Think hard about the root cause(s) of your insecurities. The first step to
defeating formidable foes is to learn about them, and this situation is no
different. Identifying the events that led to a low sense of self-worth can
provide valuable information for challenging these negative beliefs.

2. Use the “Negative Self-Talk” and “Identifying and Challenging Core Beliefs”
worksheets (available in the adult worksheets section of this article) to help
you identify negative thoughts and begin to replace them with alternative
thoughts.
 3. Be kind to yourself. If you find yourself being excessively negative to
yourself, stop and consider how you would feel if someone said those
things about a close friend or family member. Extend the same compassion
you’d give a friend or family member to yourself.

4. Make a plan. Set achievable and realistic short-term goals for yourself to
complete in the next week or so. Achieving something, no matter how
small, can be an excellent boost to your motivation.

5. Celebrate your success. When you accomplish a goal, successfully challenge

a negative thought, or catch yourself extending kindness toward yourself,
mark the achievement with a celebration! Taking the time to revel in your
success and enjoy the moment can give you the inspiration you need to
continue your journey to self-improvement.

A Take-Home Message
We hope this piece helped you find useful ways to begin or continue improving on
your self-esteem, but if you only leave with one lesson learned, we hope it is this:

You can improve. You can get better. You can reach your goals.

It may not feel like it at the moment, but know that no matter how down you might
be feeling, there is always room for growth and improvement.

Which techniques have you used to improve your self-esteem? Were they
effective? Please share your experience with us in the comments section.