1.

      Chiaaat .... CRRACKK!

      Saya adalah anggota dari sebuah organisasi seni bela diri di sekolah. suatu hari,
organisasi kami mengatur demonstrasion seni bela diri bagi siswa untuk membujuk
mereka ke dalam bergabung dengan organisasi kami. Saya dipilih sebagai salah satu
permormers untuk perforn beberapa gerakan seni bela diri. selama pertunjukan saya,
ketika saya melakukan tendangan tinggi, tiba-tiba aku mendengar suara keras,
"CRRACKK!" Ya Tuhan! celana saya robek terpisah di pantat. Semua orang tertawa
padaku. Aku hanya bisa berdiri di sana dengan wajah darah merah. Hal berikutnya
yang aku tahu, aku berlari ke arah toilet. Pernah lagi akan aku melakukan gerakan
yang di depan penonton.

      Sumber: Majalah C'NS

      Vol.3 No.21 Januari - Februari 2004
          *

      By: Khaerunnisa XI.IPS.1 pada 3 Maret 2009

      jam 6:04

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   2.

      My Kick Ass Selama Upacara Bendera

      Hal happaened ketika saya masih di SMP. hari itu, 17 Agustus 1995, dan aku
harus berada di sekolah sebelum 07:00 tapi saya bangun terlambat. Semuanya Saya
terburu-buru pagi itu. Aku melewatkan sarapan sehingga aku tidak akan terlambat di
sekolah. Aku harus tampil di acara tersebut karena aku adalah anggota PASKIBRA.
Karena aku bergegas melalui segala sesuatu, aku tidak memperhatikan apa yang saya
kenakan ke sekolah. Hal ini terbukti menjadi malu bagi saya. Selama upacara
bendera, hampir semua siswa yang laughing.i tidak tahu bahwa mereka menertawakan
aku sampai salah seorang guru saya mengatakan bahwa bukannya memakai seragam,
saya memakai rumah pendek saya yang berada di warna yang sama seperti seragam
saya . Apa yang membuat lebih buruk, itu memiliki "Kick My Ass" tanda tertulis di
pantat nya. Saya bersumpah bahwa adalah hari yang saya tidak akan pernah lupa
untuk sisa hidup saya.

      Cn majalah vol.3 No.21 Januari-Februari 2004

          *

      Oleh: Susanti XI IPS 1 pada 3 Maret 2009

      jam 6:14

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   3.

      SKOR
      Ketika Suzy sampai di rumah, ia memberitahu ayahnya bahwa dia mendapat 100
poin di sekolah. Nya ayah, "Bagus! Mari kita duduk dan bercerita lebih banyak
tentang hal itu ". Suzy "well, aku punya 20 dalam matematika, 30 dalam ilmu dan 50
secara tertulis!"

      sumber: majalah SSP vol.8 58 Agustus-September 2008

          *

      Oleh: Faradita XI ips 1 pada 3 Maret 2009

      jam 6:17

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   4.

      KESELAMATAN PERTAMA

      Satu hari setelah kelas, ada latihan keamanan di teknologi sekolah saya sekolah
kejuruan. instruktur menunjukkan pentingnya peralatan keselamatan mengenakan di
situs bangunan, seperti helm, sepatu keselamatan, dan sarung tangan. ia juga
menyebutkan bahwa kita selalu harus mengenakan sabuk pengaman kami di dalam
mobil. maka kita semua diberi kesempatan untuk mencoba pada mereka gadget
keselamatan.
      saat latihan berakhir, teman saya dan saya berjalan ke mobil salah satu teman
saya. Kami selalu pulang bersama karena kita hidup di kompleks perumahan yang
sama.
      Aku duduk di kursi depan, samping Driver. Saya melengkung sabuk pengaman,
dan aku memutar kepalaku menghadapi teman-teman saya di belakang.
      "Jangan lupa goyah atas, guys! Jangan lupa, keselamatan pertama "saya terkejut!,
Mereka meledak menjadi tawa.
      "Hei, ayolah guys. Kau tahu bahwa aku benar, "kataku membela diri.
      "Yeah, yeah. Kau benar. tetapi Anda tidak harus mengenakan helm di dalam
mobil.! "
      Saya wah! Saya lupa melepas helm saya Beeb mengenakan. Aku membuka pintu
mobil dan berlari untuk kembali helm. Dengan wajah merah, tentu saja.
      Sejak saat itu, teman-teman saya telah menggoda saya dengan kata-kata:
keamanan pertama

      Sumber: Majalah C'NS

      Vol.7 No.12 Januari-Februari 2007
          *

      Oleh: iin Maya Andiyani XI.IPS.1 pada 3 Maret 2009

      jam 6:22

      Balas

   5.

      Berhenti Minum Itu

      ketika aku Bepergian dengan teman sekelas saya, tiba-tiba kita merasa sangat
haus, dan kemudian wa memberikan Soft Drink. tetapi ketika saya sedang saya
minum menemukan rasa minuman ringan sangat asam.
      jadi saya cepat berkata kepada teman-teman saya "Berhenti Minum itu, karena ini
lembut Minum sudah dapat berakhir"

      tetapi, saya mendengar suara Berteriak "Anda bodoh, ini minuman ringan,
kedaluwarsa tidak tahun ini, tapi tahun depan"
      jadi saya meminta untuk teman-teman saya "mengapa rasa lembut Minuman
begitu asam? "
      jadi teman-teman saya mengatakan "rasa lembut Minuman begitu asam karena ini
adalah baru Lime Flavour dari Soft Drink"

      dan setelah saya yang menjadi begitu malu dan juga teman-teman saya Laught
kepada saya ... :-)

      Sumber: Majalah C'N'S

      Vol.4 Nomor 30 Februari-Maret 2005
          *

      By: Siti Kurnia pada 3 Maret 2009

      jam 6:26

      Balas

   6.

      Tarik, Bukan Push

      Beberapa tahun yang lalu, saya mengunjungi bibi saya di Jakarta. Dia
menunjukkan saya berkeliling dan membawa saya berbelanja di beberapa mal. Aku
benar-benar terpesona oleh mal glamor. Sementara jendela-shooping dengan dia, yang
disebut alam. Bibiku menunjukkan saya kamar kecil. Dia tidak datang, dia menunggu
di luar. Aku memasuki salah satu bilik. Ketika saya sudah selesai, saya mencoba
untuk membuka pintu bilik. Aku mendorong, mendorong, dan mendorong lagi. Tidak
ada yang terjadi. Saya mulai mendapatkan panik. Aku ttied untuk mendorong lagi.
Zero, aku berteriak nama tante saya beberapa kali. Aku mendengar datang, tapi dia
terdengar panik juga. Saya berkata saya tidak bisa membuka pintu. Tiba-tiba, dalam
satu melemparkan, pintu terbuka lebar. Aku mendengar orang-orang meledak tawa.
Tidak tahu apa yang terjadi, aku melangkah keluar dari bilik. Kemudian saya
menemukan bahwa aku harus menarik, tidak mendorong pintu. Aku ingin tanah
menelan saya.

      Sumber: Majalah C'N'S

      Vol. 4 No 30 Februari-Maret 2005
          *

      Oleh: Indah Mentari kls: XI.IPS.1 pada 3 Maret 2009

      jam 6:39
      Balas

   7.

      Safety First

      Satu hari setelah kelas, ada latihan keamanan di sekolah saya - teknologi sekolah
kejuruan. instruktur menunjukkan pentingnya memakai alat keselamatan di situs
bangunan, seperti helm, sepatu keselamatan, dan sarung tangan. Dia juga
menyebutkan bahwa kita selalu harus mengenakan sabuk pengaman kami di dalam
mobil. Kemudian kami semua diberi kesempatan untuk mencoba pada mereka gadget
keselamatan.

      Ketika bor selesai, teman-teman saya dan saya berjalan ke mobil salah satu teman
saya. Kami selalu pulang bersama karena kita hidup di kompleks perumahan yang
sama. Aku duduk di kursi depan, sebelah sopir. Saya melengkung sabuk pengaman,
dan aku memutar kepalaku menghadapi teman-teman saya di belakang.

      "Jangan lupa goyah atas, guys! Jangan lupa, keselamatan pertama! "
      mengherankan saya, mereka meledak menjadi tawa.
      "Hei, ayolah, guys. Kau tahu bahwa aku benar, "kataku membela diri.
      "Yeah, yeah. Kau benar. Tapi Anda tidak harus mengenakan helm di dalam
mobil! "

      Saya wah! Saya lupa melepas helm saya telah memakai. Aku membuka pintu
mobil dan berlari untuk kembali helm. Dengan wajah merah, tentu saja.
      Sejak saat itu, teman-teman saya telah menggoda saya dengan kata-kata.

      Sumber: Majalah C'nS

      Vol. 8 No.61 Februari-Maret 2009
          *

      Oleh: Tri Suciyanti Kelas: XI IPA pada 3 Maret 2009

      pada pukul 12:05

      Balas

   8.

      The Falling Buah

      Setelah panen buah yang besar di daerah di mana saya dulu tinggal, orang tua saya
membawa pulang banyak duku, durian, dan rambutan. Ada begitu banyak dari
mereka, kami masih memiliki kantong buah-buahan bahkan setelah berbagi dengan
tetangga. Memiliki i kencan dengan teman-teman, memutuskan untuk membawanya
beberapa. Membawa tas plastik penuh duku, saya naik bus. Aku terlambat sehingga
ketika saya tiba di halte bus saya, saya cepat-cepat melompat dari bus. Sebagai i
melakukannya, kantong plastik memegang dukus pecah terbuka dan buah bulat kecil
berguling di seluruh jalan. Silly saya, bukannya meninggalkan mereka sendirian, saya
pergi ke semua kesulitan memetik setiap duku dari jalanan. mobil-mobil yang lewat
harus berhenti dan menunggu saya untuk mengumpulkan dukus. Semua penumpang
tersenyum lebar pada kebodohan saya.
      Rizka, PALEMBANG

      Sumber: SSP BAHASA INGGRIS MAGAZINE Vol. 8 No 13

          *

      Oleh: Frans G. XI IS 3 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 2:10

      Balas

   9.

      OUT Dalam Woods

          *

      Oleh: Novi INDRIYANTI XI IS_2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 5:33

      Balas

  10.

      Funny Story

      OUT Dalam Woods

      Beberapa pemburu di hutan di dep selatan ketika salah satu dari mereka jatuh ke
tanah. Dia tidak tampak bernapas, dan matanya yang digulung kembali di kepalanya.
Orang lain cambuk dari ponselnya dan panggilan 911. Dia terengah-engah untuk
operator, "Teman saya sudah mati!
      Apa yang bisa saya lakukan? "
      Operator, dengan suara tenang dan menenangkan, mengatakan, "Baiklah, ambillah
mudah. Saya dapat membantu. Pertama, aku mudah pastikan dia mati "ada
keheningan, dan kemudian ditembak pistol terdengar.. Pemburu datang kembali di
telepon "Ok.Now apa?".

      Majalah: C & S
      Volume: 6
      Nunber: 46
      Tanggal: Maret 2007
          *

      Oleh: Novi INDRIYANTI XI IS_2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 5:43

      Balas

  11.
      BABI CERITA

      Zelko yang tahu kesombongan. Dia berpikir dirinya diseluruh orang cerdas dan
memandang rendah semua orang dari kepala desa ke buruh tani terendah. suatu hari ia
sedang berjalan pulang menyeret belakangnya seekor kambing yang dibelinya di
pasar ketika ia bertemu Dumba, idiot desa. Begitu melihat Dumba Zelko dengan
kambing, ia berteriak, "hey, apa yang kamu lakukan dengan babi itu?" Zelko mulai
tertawa dan mencemooh. "Anda bodoh! tak heran mereka menyebut Anda idiot desa.
Ini adalah seekor kambing, bukan babi, Anda Dumbhead! "
      Dumba menatapnya dengan bingung dan berkata, "maaf, Zelko, tetapi saya tidak
berbicara dengan Anda. Aku sedang berbicara kambing! "

      sumber: Cn'S Inggris Majalah Vol.2 No.11

      Tanggal: 11 oktober-November 2002
          *

      Oleh: Permata Sari Pratiwi kelas: XI adalah 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 5:48

      Balas

  12.

      MELIHAT - DOG EYE

      Seorang buta sedang berjalan di jalan dengan anjing melihat-mata suatu hari
Mereka datang ke persimpangan sibuk dan anjing, mengabaikan volume lalu lintas
yang tinggi zoom tinggal di jalan,. Memimpin keluar pria yang tepat buta ke tebal lalu
lintas. ini diikuti oleh decitan ban dan tanduk menggelegar sebagai driver panik
berusaha mati-matian untuk tidak menjalankan pasangan ke bawah orang buta dan.
anjing akhirnya mencapai keselamatan trotoar di sisi lain dari jalan dan orang buta itu
menarik keluar cookie dari saku mantelnya yang ia menawarkan untuk anjing.
      Seorang pelempar oleh, setelah mengamati kejadian fatal dekat, tidak dapat
mengendalikan amazenement dan berkata kepada orang buta, "kenapa kau
menyenangkan anjing Anda dengan kue? Dia hampir saja Anda membunuh "orang
buta ternyata sebagian ke arahnya dan menjawab," untuk mencari tahu di mana
kepalanya, sehingga saya bisa menendang pantatnya!. "

      SUMBER:

      MAJALAH: N'SCHOOL N 'SMART

      VOLUME: 2
      NOMOR: 11
      TANGGAL: Oktober II - November 2002
          *

      Oleh: LILIS SUSANTI KELAS XI.IPS 0,2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 5:50
      Balas

  13.

      Funny Story

      John'Reason

      Di toko, John, seorang anak enam tahun, berdiri di samping ibunya yang sedang
melakukan pembelian. penjaga toko memberitahu dia untuk membantu dirinya
segenggam coklat. Tapi John Shook kepalanya.
      "Kenapa? Ada apa "tanya penjaga toko."? Apa kau tak suka cokelat? "
      "Ya." Jawab Yohanes.
      "Yah, pergi ke depan dan mengambil beberapa."
      John ragu-ragu. Kemudian penjaga toko sendiri meletakkan segenggam cokelat di
saku John '.
      Ketika mereka meninggalkan toko itu, ibunya bertanya, "mengapa Anda tidak
mengambil cokelat sendiri?"
      "Karena tangannya lebih besar dari saya," jawab Yohanes.

      Majalah: KONTAK

      Volume: 7

      Nomor: 40

      Tanggal: November-Desember 1999

          *

      Oleh: SITI ma'rifah XI IS_2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 5:55

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  14.

      Elementary, My Dear Watson

      Sherlock Holmes dan Dr.Watson pergi pada perjalanan berkemah, mendirikan

tenda mereka, dan jatuh tertidur. Beberapa jam kemudian, Holmes membangunkan
sahabat yang setia.
      "Watson, lihatlah ke langit dan katakan apa yang kamu lihat." Watson menjawab,
"Saya melihat jutaan bintang."
      "Apa artinya itu?"
      Watson merenung sejenak. "Astronomi, ia memberitahu saya bahwa ada jutaan
galaksi dan berpotensi milyaran planet. Astrologically, ia memberitahu saya bahwa
Saturnus berada di Leo. Waktu bijaksana, tampaknya menjadi kira-kira seperempat
terakhir tiga. Teologis, itu jelas Tuhan adalah maha kuasa dan kita yang kecil dan
tidak signifikan. Meteorologically, tampaknya kita akan memiliki hari yang indah
besok. Apa memberitahu Anda? "
      Holmes terdiam sejenak, kemudian berbicara, "Watson, kau idiot, seseorang telah
mencuri tenda kita!"

      Sumber: C & S Majalah

      Vol. 6 No 46 Maret 2007
          *

      Oleh: Devi. Hermawati XI.IS-2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 5:56

      Balas

  15.

      POHON Gorilla

      Seorang pria berjalan ke halaman belakang nya suatu pagi dan menemukan gorila
di pohon. Ia menyebut layanan gorila-removal, dan segera reparasi tiba dengan
tongkat, sebuah cihuahua (anjing ras kelinci-ukuran anjing), sepasang borgol, dan
sebuah shootgun. "Sekarang dengarkan baik-baik," katanya kepada pemilik rumah
"Aku akan memanjat pohon dan aduk gorila dengan tongkat ini sampai dia jatuh ke
tanah.. Para cihuahua dilatih kemudian akan pergi tepat untuk nya,
      eh daerah, sensitif, dan ketika gorila naluriah salib tangannya di depan untuk
melindungi dirinya sendiri, Anda menampar di borgol. "
      "Mendapatkannya," jawab pemilik rumah. "Tapi apa shootgun untuk?"
      "Jika aku jatuh dari pohon sebelum gorila," kata orang itu, "cihuahua menembak
itu."

      sumber: Cn'S Inggris Majalah Vol.2 No.11

      Tanggal: 11 oktober-November 2002
          *

      Oleh: Faradilla kelas: XI adalah 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 6:03

      Balas

  16.

      magang

      Seorang anak pengacara ternama bermimpi berikut di footsteps.After ayahnya

lulus dari perguruan tinggi dan sekolah hukum dengan pujian, ia kembali ke rumah
untuk bergabung dengan film ayahnya, bertekad membuktikan dirinya sebagai
pengacara terampil dan layak. Pada akhir kantor ayahnya, dan berkata, "ayah, ayah
kasus Smith, yang Anda selalu mengatakan akan pergi selamanya satu yang Anda
telah bekerja keras selama sepuluh tahun-dalam satu hari, aku menetap bahwa kasus
dan disimpan klien keberuntungan "
      Ayahnya mengerutkan kening, dan memarahi dia, "Saya tidak mengatakan bahwa
hal itu AKAN berlangsung selamanya, Nak. Saya mengatakan bahwa BISA
berlangsung selamanya, Ketika Anda melihat saya bekerja keras pada kasus selama
berhari-hari dan minggu pada satu waktu, Bukankah itu pernah terjadi kepada Anda
bahwa saya dibayar per jam?

      sumber: majalah Bahasa Inggris Cn'S vol 8 No.61

      Tanggal: 31 Januari-Febuari 2009
      Halaman: 36
          *

      Oleh: Chandra Pangestu, XI IS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 6:09

      Balas

  17.

      Nasty BUG

      Setiap malam, Harold akan pergi ke toko minuman keras, mendapatkan six pack,
bawa di rumah dan minum sementara dia tonton malam selesai TV.One sebagai pintu
terakhir lonceng tersandung rang.he beer.the ke pintu dan menemukan enam kecoa
kaki berdiri Bug there.The mencengkeram kerah dan melemparkannya ke seberang
ruangan, dan kiri

      Malam berikutnya, setelah ia selesai bir 3th, The bel pintu berbunyi.
      Dia Berjalan perlahan ke pintu menemukan iklan kecoa enam sama kaki berdiri
bug besar there.The meninju di perut, lalu pergi.

      Malam berikutnya, setelah ia selesai bir 1 nya, bel pintu berbunyi again.the sama
enam kecoa kaki berdiri di sana. kali ini ia lutut di selangkangan dan tekan belakang
telinga saat ia dua kali lipat selama di pain.Then bug besar kiri.

      malam keempat Harold tidak minum kecoa rang.The bel all.The berdiri bug
there.The mengalahkan keluar ingus dari Harold dan meninggalkannya di tumpukan
di lantai ruang tamu.

      Hari berikutnya, Harold pergi menemui doctor.He nya menjelaskan peristiwa

empat malam sebelumnya "Apa yang bisa saya lakukan.? ia memohon.

      "Tidak banyak" jawab dokter. "Hanya ada bug buruk terjadi di sekitar."

      http://www.funnystory.com
          *

      By: sarimaya X1.IS.1 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 6:32

      Balas

  18.
      Hilang dan Tidak Ditemukan

      Ayah saya adalah orang aneh golf. Karena dia suka meminta saya untuk
menemaninya bermain golf, aku mulai tergila-gila juga. Selain bermain itu, saya juga
ingin bergabung tourments golf. di i turnamen terakhir bergabung, beberapa hal
embarssing terjadi padaku.

      di middleof permainan, bola saya mendarat di sebuah kolam lumpur. tidak ingin
menyerah, saya mendekati kolam dan berusaha mencari bola dengan klub saya.
Setelah sekitar lima menit. Aku masih belum bisa menemukan bola saya, tapi lebih
buruk, saya tidak bisa menarik keluar klub saya. itu seemedto terjebak pada sesuatu.
Aku mengarungi ke dalam kolam dan meraba-raba dengan tanganku, mencoba
mencari bola. Kemudian igave up! Aku keluar dari kolam dan menemukan bahwa
saya tidak hanya kehilangan bola saya dan klub saya, tapi juga sepatu saya. Saya
sangat malu karena semua orang Watchung.!

      Majalah: C'NS
      Voleme: 31
      Nomor: 17
      Tanggal: 2004 juni
          *

      Oleh: Fernando Lucas XI IS 3 pada tanggal 4 Maret 2009

      jam 6:42

      Balas

  19.

      pembuat masalah

      saat mengunjungi sebuah sekolah negeri, ketua dewan pendidikan menjadi

memprovokasi di kebisingan siswa tegar sedang membuat kamar sebelah.
      marah, ia membuka pintu ang meraih salah satu anak laki-laki lebih tinggi yang
tampaknya melakukan sebagian besar thetalking. Dia menyeret anak-anak ke kamar
sebelah dan menyuruh dia berdiri sudut.
      Beberapa menit kemudian, seorang anak kecil terjebak hi kepala di ruangan itu
dan memohon, "Tolong, Pak, mungkin kami telah tacher kita kembali?"

      MAJALAH c'ns
      volume 1
      no 1
      13 maret 2001
          *

      Oleh: Nizar Novri y.. XI IS 3 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 6:52

      Balas
  20.

      Singa ganas

      Bert adalah teman Tellinh justin tentang perjalanan safari di Afrika. "... .. i
berhadapan dengan Lion ganas. Dia menggeram, menunjukkan mw teeth.he panjang
yang tajam benar-benar air liur di melihatku. manusia! Aku pernah begitu takut
sebelumnya. "

      "Wow! Saya senang saya tidak ada di sepatu Anda! sehingga apa yang terjadi
berikutnya? kau menembaknya? "

      "Tidak, aku tidak punya pistol saya dengan saya."

      "Anda didnt oh?! Yang benar-benar bodoh."

      "Ya, itu begitu bodoh dari saya. Pokoknya, disana aku berdiri sendirian, tanpa
pistol. Singa merayap dekat dan dekat dan dekat ... dan aku ... "Bert membungkuk dan
menghela napas dalam-dalam. Sabar, justin teriak, "Ayo, Bung! apa yang kau
lakukan?

      "Pal Nya showders mengangkat bahu dan berkata," apa yang bisa saya lakukan?
Aku pindah ke kandang berikutnya. "

      Sumber: majalah C'Ns

      Volume: 2
      Nomor: 11
      dibuat: 24 Agustus 2007
          *

      Oleh: Siti Umaiyah XI IS 2 pada tanggal 4 Maret 2009

      jam 6:53

      Balas

  21.

      OH BOY
      keponakan saya 2 tahun dan aku mengantri di kasir di sebuah department store
ketika ia menarik-narik kemeja saya dengan melihat mengerikan di wajahnya.

      Saya bertanya apa yang salah dan dia sangat keras berkata, Setiap orang "saya
pikir wanita di depan kita kentut, menyebabkan bau pantatnya!" Di sekitar kita
mendengarnya.

      Aku begitu ashmed. Saya meminta maaf kepada semua orang, khususnya wanita
di depan saya, dan kemudian berpura-pura bahwa saya telah melupakan sesuatu jadi
kami hanya bisa UOT dari sana dengan cepat!

      Sumber: Majalah inggris SSP vol.4 No.29

      Tanggal: Januari-Februari 2005
      Halaman: 65
          *

      Oleh: Dini indri lestari XI.IS2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 6:55

      Balas

  22.

      INDAH ME

      saya suka menggoda kakak saya, suatu hari. ketika dia sedang sibuk menjejalkan
untuk ujian, saya memakai earinng ibuku dan memakai lipstik dan mulai menggoda
kakak saya, saya terus menggoda dia sampai ibuku berteriak padaku "Catur,
meninggalkan adik Anda sendiri! Anda akan lebih baik pergi ke pompa bensin untuk
mengisi tangki sepeda motor ayahmu "

      jadi off saya pergi ke pompa bensin. anehnya, orang-orang ada friendler daripada
biasanya. mereka semua tersenyum padaku beberapa dari mereka tertawa bersama.

      perjalanan pulang, saya melihat kakak saya jadi bertanya, "hey sis ada sesuatu
yang salah dengan saya.?
      tampaknya semua orang yang sangat ramah dan hari ini. mereka semua tersenyum
dan tertawa di pom bensin "
      adik saya, tiba-tiba tertawa terbahak-bahak dan berkata "tentu saja mereka. Anda
masih memakai lipstik ibu dan Anting "
      "Apa? Astaga! "Naik i rumah terburu-buru.

      Sumber:
      Majalah Cool n Smart
      Volume: 7
      Nomor: 55
      Tanggal: April - Mei 2008
          *

      Oleh: Yulia Indah Pertiwi XI IPS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 6:59

      Balas

  23.

      TERBAIK DI ATAS TANAH

      Sekelompok pejalan kaki dipimpin melalui padang gurun AS oleh panduan. pada
hari ketiga, pejalan kaki melihat bahwa mereka telah melakukan perjalanan di
kalangan.
      "Kita kehilangan" salah satu keluhan laki-laki.
      "Saya pikir kau bilang kau adalah panduan terbaik di Amerika Serikat."
      "Saya" jawaban panduan,
      "Tapi saya pikir kami mungkin telah mengembara ke Kanada"

      SUMBER

      majalah: SSP
      Volume: 4
      Date: 30 Maret2005
          *

      Oleh: aDiTiYa Rukhiyat XI IPS 1 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 7:08

      Balas

  24.

      MANUSIA Bowling Ball

      teman sekolah saya dan saya pergi gang. Ini adalah pertama kalinya saya pergi
bowling, jadi saya mencoba beberapa teknik yang berbeda. Salah satunya adalah
berlari ke jalur, yang tampaknya bekerja untuk saya. Saya menggunakan beberapa
teknik kali dan saya mendapat nilai yang baik. Tetapi saya apa yang tidak menyadari
adalah bahwa pada poin tertentu jalur itu sangat licin karena lantai itu meminyaki
untuk membantu bola turun jalan. Aku berlari melewati poin dan akhirnya jatuh di
pantatku. Kedua kaki saya terbang dari bawah saya dan saya meluncur setengah jalan
di sepanjang jalan.

      Sumber: Majalah SSP

      Volume: 4
      Nomor: 29
      Page: 65
      Tanggal: Januari-Februari 2005
          *

      By: Silvina Dewi Pratiwi XI.IS2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 7:09

      Balas

  25.

      Investigasi Kecelakaan Terrible

      Dalam sebuah kecelakaan yang mengerikan ada yang selamat ada kecuali
monkey.Since di sana ada saksi, polisi tidak dapat menentukan. Sebuah terakhir,
mereka memutar monkey.Because monyet tampak mampu merespon dengan gerak
tubuh, yang interrogate.it polisi decidedto

      "Apa adalah orang-orang lakukan di bus?"

      Monyet menggeleng secara setuju dan mulai menari di sekitar, yang berarti orang
menari dan bersenang-senang "OK, tapi apa lagi yang mereka lakukan?"

      Monyet membawa tangannya ke mulutnya seolah-olah memegang botol. "Oh!

mereka minum, Hah? OK, yang mereka lakukan hal lain? "

      monyet itu mengangguk kepalanya dan mulutnya bergerak maju mundur,

menirukan menyanyi.

      Chief kehilangan kesabaran, "jika mereka memiliki waktu yang hebat, yang
mengemudikan bus itu?"

      Monyet riang ayunan lengannya di roda kemudi seolah-olah operasi.

      Majalah; C'nS
      Volume; 7
      Nomor; 55
      Tanggal; April-Mei 2008
          *

      Oleh: Wahyu Aprianto XI IS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 7:14

      Balas

  26.

      Tiga Wishes

      Beruang dan kelinci didnt saling menyukai sangat banyak. Suatu hari, sementara
mereka walkinh melalui hutan, mereka menemukan kodok emas. katak itu berbalik
kepada mereka dan berkata: "Oh saya tidak sering bertemu orang di daerah ini.
Mereka kagum bahwa katak telah berbicara dengan mereka. Katak emas mengatakan
kepada mereka, "pikiran Anda, ketika aku bertemu seseorang yang saya selalu
memberi mereka tiga keinginan. Sehingga Anda dapat memiliki tiga keinginan
masing-masing. "

      Beruang segera berharap bahwa semua beruang lainnya di hutan adalah wanita.

      "Selesai!" Kata kelinci frog.The, setelah berpikir untuk beberapa saat, berkata,
"Aku ingin crash helmed." Satu muncul segera dan dia meletakkannya di kepalanya.
Beruang thougt kelinci bodoh, tetapi dilaksanakan dengan keinginan kedua.
      "Saya ingin semua beruang di hutan tetangga menjadi perempuan juga." Katak
diberikan keinginannya. Kelinci lalu berkata, "Aku ingin sepeda motor." Itu muncul
di depannya, dan ia naik di atasnya dan mulai revving mesin.

      "Mereka adalah dua dari stupides keinginan yang pernah saya dengar," Beruang
itu remarket scronfully. Dia kemudian membuat keinginan terakhirnya, yang adalah
bahwa semua beruang lain di dunia adalah wanita juga, meninggalkan dia sebagai
hanya menanggung laki-laki di dunia. katak itu menjawab bahwa hal itu telah
dilakukan, dan mereka berdua berbalik untuk kelinci untuk keinginan terakhir.

      Mesin Rabbit reffed, berpikir sejenak, lalu berkata "Aku berharap bahwa Mr Bear
di sini adalah gay!" Dan berkuda sebagai secepat mungkin. "

      Sumber: Majalah C'Ns

      Volume: 2
      Nomor: 11
      Dibuat: 24 Agustus 2007
          *

      Oleh: XI Masun Hilyatul IS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 7:16

      Balas

  27.

      Harap cheat tenang

      Hal ini terjadi ketika masih di sekolah tinggi. Suatu Senin pagi, guru ekonomi
memberi kami test.As biasa, Semua buku itu harus diletakkan di dalam tas kita, yang
menempatkan di dalam laci meja.
      Di tengah-tengah yang terbaik, aku terjebak, aku tidak bisa memikirkan
anything.When saya melihat ke kiri, saya melihat teman saya menyalin jawaban dari
buku. Jadi aku berbisik kepadanya untuk memberikan saya jawaban atas salah satu
problems.He yang menuliskan jawabannya di selembar kertas kecil, kusut, dan
melemparkannya ke me.But itu jatuh terlalu jauh dari saya.
      Aku berusaha sebaik mungkin untuk mencapai kertas, tetapi tidak ada
avail.Suddenly, CRASH! jatuh dari kursi saya! Semua orang, termasuk guru, Apakah
Shockred mendengar bahwa noise.Then mereka tertawa begitu keras sampai mereka
menangis.
      Lalu guru saya mendekati saya dan berbisik kepada saya, "jika Anda ingin
menyalin jawaban teman Anda, jangan membuat ribut," itu adalah pengalaman yang
paling memalukan yang pernah saya miliki.

      Majalah: n cool pintar

      Volume: 7
      Nomor: 55
      Tanggal: April - Maret 2008
          *

      Oleh: Chairul anam XI IS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 7:28

      Balas

  28.

      Sebuah Pesta Ulang Tahun Tak Terlupakan

      Sebuah partai biasanya sesuatu yang menyenangkan untuk diingat. Punyaku
sebaliknya. Bencana ini terjadi dua tahun yang lalu pada hari ulang tahun ke-14 saya.
Orang tua saya dan teman saya berada di ruang tamu, merayakan hari besar saya. Aku
sedang bersiap-siap untuk meniup semua lilin pada kue. Menjadi diri biasa canggung
saya, saya meletakkan wajah kanan saya di atas kue sebelum mengisap dengan sekuat
tenaga. Tiba-tiba saya lilin seluruh wajah saya. Itu tidak terlalu panas, tapi saya
terkejut, dan aku berteriak. Melihat wajah saya, semua orang tertawa. Aku sangat
malu. Apa sebuah pesta ulang tahun!

      Sumber: Majalah S 'N' C

      Vol.4 Nomor 30 Februari-Maret 2005
          *

      Oleh: Ria Andrianingsih XI.IPS.2 pada tanggal 4 Maret 2009

      pukul 8:02

      Balas

  29.

      BABI CERITA

      Zelko dikenal karena kesombongan. ia berpikir dirinya diseluruh orang cerdas dan
memandang rendah semua orang dari kepala desa ke buruh tani terendah. suatu hari ia
sedang berjalan pulang menyeret belakangnya seekor kambing yang dibelinya di
pasar tha ketika dia bertemu dumba, idiot viiage. segera setelah dumba terlihat Zelko
dengan kambing, ia berteriak, mulai "Hei, apa yang kamu lakukan dengan babi itu?"
Zelko tertawa dan berkata mencemooh, "Anda bodoh! tak heran panggilan Anda idiot
desa. ini adalah kambing, bukan babi, Anda dumbhead! "
      dumba menatapnya dengan bingung dan berkata, "maaf, Zelko, tetapi tidak
berbicara dengan Anda. saya sedang berbicara dengan kambing! "

      Sumber: Majalah S 'N' C

      vo: 2 no: 17
      Tanggal: 11 Oktober - November 2002
          *

      Oleh: Iswari Diar Arachim pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:05

      Balas

  30.

      MANUSIA Bowling Ball

      teman sekolah saya dan saya pergi ke sebuah alley.This bowling pertama kalinya
saya pergi bowling, jadi saya mencoba techniques.One berbeda dari mereka berlari ke
jalur, yang tampaknya bekerja untuk me.I digunakan bahwa teknik beberapa kali dan
aku scores.But baik mendapatkan apa yang saya tidak menyadari adalah bahwa pada
titik tertentu jalan itu sangat licin karena lantai itu meminyaki untuk membantu bola
pergi dow lane.I berlari melewati titik dan akhirnya jatuh pada butt.Both saya kaki
saya terbang dari bawah saya dan aku meluncur setengah jalan di sepanjang jalan itu!

      Sumber: majalah C'ns

      Vol: 4
      No: 29
      Page: 65
      Tanggal: Februari 2005
          *

      Oleh: wardi dedi yanto XI IS2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:07

      Balas

  31.

      Wanita super

      Saya dirawat di rumah sakit selama seminggu. Pada saat makan siang, seorang
staf rumah sakit datang ke kamarku untuk memberikan makan siang saya. Wanita itu
meletakkan nampan makan siang di tempat tidur. Menu itu bubur, sayur sup, daging
sapi dan buah. Itu tidak benar-benar selera tapi dokter saya mengatakan bahwa saya
butuh protein untuk mempercepat pemulihan saya. Jadi saya memutuskan untuk
makan daging sapi. Aku tidak tahu mengapa tapi aku tidak bisa memotong daging
sapi dengan sendok saya. Oh well .... Mungkin aku terlalu minggu, pikirku. Aku
mengumpulkan kekuatan saya dan mencoba lagi. Tiba-tiba, gagang sendok menjadi
bengkok. Aku membunyikan bel tha untuk perawat. Pada interkom, suara wanita
bertanya padaku apa yang dia bisa lakukan untuk saya. Aku menceritakan apa yang
terjadi. Perawat itu berkata bahwa dia akan datang dan membawa saya sendok lain.
Perawat itu datang dengan dua perawat lain. Salah satu dari mereka menggoda saya
dengan mengatakan, "Wow! Lihatlah sendok. Sekarang bahwa Anda cukup kuat
untuk menekuk sendok, saya pikir Anda akan check out dari rumah sakit ini nyata
segera, superwoman "Saya hanya bisa tersenyum lemah pada perawat cekikikan.
          *

      Oleh: Adhitya setiawan_ XI IPS 2 pada tanggal 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:07

      Balas

  32.

      Wanita super
      Saya dirawat di rumah sakit selama seminggu. Pada saat makan siang, seorang
staf rumah sakit datang ke kamarku untuk memberikan makan siang saya. Wanita itu
meletakkan nampan makan siang di tempat tidur. Menu itu bubur, sayur sup, daging
sapi dan buah. Itu tidak benar-benar selera tapi dokter saya mengatakan bahwa saya
butuh protein untuk mempercepat pemulihan saya. Jadi saya memutuskan untuk
makan daging sapi. Aku tidak tahu mengapa tapi aku tidak bisa memotong daging
sapi dengan sendok saya. Oh well .... Mungkin aku terlalu minggu, pikirku. Aku
mengumpulkan kekuatan saya dan mencoba lagi. Tiba-tiba, gagang sendok menjadi
bengkok. Aku membunyikan bel tha untuk perawat. Pada interkom, suara wanita
bertanya padaku apa yang dia bisa lakukan untuk saya. Aku menceritakan apa yang
terjadi. Perawat itu berkata bahwa dia akan datang dan membawa saya sendok lain.
Perawat itu datang dengan dua perawat lain. Salah satu dari mereka menggoda saya
dengan mengatakan, "Wow! Lihatlah sendok. Sekarang bahwa Anda cukup kuat
untuk menekuk sendok, saya pikir Anda akan check out dari rumah sakit ini nyata
segera, superwoman "Saya hanya bisa tersenyum lemah pada perawat cekikikan.

      Sumber: majalah Cn's

      Vol: 6
      No: 46
      Tanggal: 2007 Februari
          *

      Oleh: Adhitya setiawan_ XI IPS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:09

      Balas

  33.

      Beruang Kristen
      Ada seorang pria yang satu didnt hari merasa seperti pergi ke gereja sehingga ia
memutuskan untuk pergi berburu sebagai gantinya.

      Dia di semak-semak ketika ia aproched dari belakang oleh beruang. Dia

menjatuhkan senjatanya oleh kecelakaan namun didnt repot-repot mengambilnya.

      Dia berlari untuk hidupnya. Tenun masuk dan keluar pohon-pohon dengan
beruang mengikuti jejaknya. Melengkung di sekitar pohon dia triped lebih dari
akarnya.

      Dia mendongak dan menanggung menunduk. beruang itu tentang menyerang ke

arahnya. Dia meletakkan kedua tangannya dan berdoa:

      "Dear Lord, Harap beritahu beruang ini menjadi seorang Kristen."

      menanggung duduk di gelandangan dan memegang tangan mans, memejamkan

mata dan berkata: "Tuanku yang terhormat, Terima kasih untuk makanan yang saya
akan menerima"
          *

      Oleh: nurlaelah pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:17

      Balas
  34.

      makan malam a la carte

      Robbie memutuskan untuk mencoba restoran baru italian downtown.aftre cerfully

mempelajari menu dengan nama yang terdengar aneh, dia mengatakan kepada
pelayan, "OK, aku akan Spimoni Vermatelli. "Di mana Anda melihat bahwa, Sir?"
      "Di sini, tepat di uf atas menu."
      "Oh, tapi itu nama pemiliknya."
      malu, Robbie memutuskan untuk bermain aman dan memesan sup jelas jist.
segera pelayan membawakan piring kosong. sambil menunggu perintah untuk datang,
Robbie menyadari bahwa piring tidak benar kering, maka dia disebut pelayan lagi.
      "Pelayan, lihat plat ini!"
      "Apa yang salah dengan itu, Pak?"
      "Tidak bisa Anda lihat? mengapa, itu masih basah! "
      'Oh, tapi itu sup jelas Anda, Sir. "

      spource: 'N' C S Majalah

      vol: 2
      no: 33
      Tanggal: 13 Jan-Feb
          *

      By: eka rahma Wati XI IS 2 pada tanggal 4 Maret 2009.

      jam 9:21

      Balas

  35.

      Beruang Kristen

      Ada seorang pria yang satu didnt hari merasa seperti pergi ke gereja sehingga ia
memutuskan untuk pergi berburu sebagai gantinya.

      Dia di semak-semak ketika ia aproched dari belakang oleh beruang. Dia

menjatuhkan senjatanya oleh kecelakaan namun didnt repot-repot mengambilnya.

      Dia berlari untuk hidupnya. Tenun masuk dan keluar pohon-pohon dengan
beruang mengikuti jejaknya. Melengkung di sekitar pohon dia triped lebih dari
akarnya.

      Dia mendongak dan menanggung menunduk. beruang itu tentang menyerang ke

arahnya. Dia meletakkan kedua tangannya dan berdoa:

      "Dear Lord, Harap beritahu beruang ini menjadi seorang Kristen."

      menanggung duduk di gelandangan dan memegang tangan mans, memejamkan

mata dan berkata: "Tuanku yang terhormat, Terima kasih untuk makanan yang saya
akan menerima"
      sumber: http://www.onlyfunnystories.com
      vol: 21 dari kiri
      Tanggal: 4 Maret 2009
          *

      Oleh: nurlaelah pada tanggal 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:22

      Balas

  36.

      Harap cheat tenang

      Hal ini terjadi ketika masih di sekolah tinggi. Suatu Senin pagi, guru ekonomi
memberi kami test.As biasa, Semua buku itu harus diletakkan di dalam tas kita, yang
menempatkan di dalam laci meja.
      Di tengah-tengah yang terbaik, aku terjebak, aku tidak bisa memikirkan
anything.When saya melihat ke kiri, saya melihat teman saya menyalin jawaban dari
buku. Jadi aku berbisik kepadanya untuk memberikan saya jawaban atas salah satu
problems.He yang menuliskan jawabannya di selembar kertas kecil, kusut, dan
melemparkannya ke me.But itu jatuh terlalu jauh dari saya.
      Aku berusaha sebaik mungkin untuk mencapai kertas, tetapi tidak ada
avail.Suddenly, CRASH! jatuh dari kursi saya! Semua orang, termasuk guru, Apakah
Shockred mendengar bahwa noise.Then mereka tertawa begitu keras sampai mereka
menangis.
      Lalu guru saya mendekati saya dan berbisik kepada saya, "jika Anda ingin
menyalin jawaban teman Anda, jangan membuat ribut," itu adalah pengalaman yang
paling memalukan yang pernah saya miliki.
      Majalah: n cool pintar
      Volume: 7
      Nomor: 55
      Tanggal: April - Maret 2008
          *

      Oleh: Chairul anam XI-IPS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:27

      Balas

      Balas

  38.

      SELAMAT TAHUN BARU

      Aku sedang mandi ketika keponakan saya 2 tahun mulai menangis dan ingin
masuk ke kamar mandi juga. Jadi saya biarkan dia ke kamar mandi. Lalu ia
membungkus dirinya dalam kertas toilet. Meskipun ia membuat kekacauan, ia tampak
menggemaskan, jadi aku berlari untuk kamera saya dan mengambil beberapa gambar.
Hasilnya sangat besar sehingga saya telah memutuskan untuk membuat beberapa
salinan dari salah satunya dan melampirkannya ke kartu Tahun Baru saya.

      Hari kemudian, relatif yang disebut, tertawa histeris, dan menyarankan saya
mengambil melihat lebih dekat pada gambar. Bingung, aku mulai di foto dan terkejut
menemukan bahwa selain keponakan saya, refleksi saya sendiri telah ditangkap dalam
cermin kamar mandi tidak mengenakan tapi kamera.
      Sumber: majalah C n's
      Vol: 4
      No: 29
      Page: 65
      Tanggal: Februari
          *

      Oleh: Ahmad fahrurozi XI IS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:29

      Balas

  39.

      BABI CERITA

      Zelko dikenal karena kesombongan. ia berpikir dirinya diseluruh orang cerdas dan
memandang rendah semua orang dari kepala desa ke buruh tani terendah. suatu hari ia
sedang berjalan pulang menyeret belakangnya seekor kambing yang dibelinya di
pasar ketika ia bertemu dumba, idiot desa. segera setelah dumba terlihat zelko dengan
kambing, ia berteriak, "hey, apa yang kamu lakukan dengan babi itu?" zelko mulai
laught dan berkata mencemooh, "menipu anda! tak heran mereka menyebut Anda
idiot desa. ini adalah kambing, bukan babi, Anda dumbhead! "
      dumba menatapnya dengan bingung dan berkata, "maaf, zelko, tapi aku tidak
berbicara dengan Anda. Aku sedang berbicara o kambing! "

      Sumber: Majalah S 'N' C

      Vol: 2
      No: 17
      Tanggal: 11 Oktober - November 2002
          *

      Oleh: Iswari Arachim Diar. XI IPS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:33

      Balas

  40.

      Kehilangan Sandal

      Ketika salah satu organisasi mahasiswa di kampus saya mengadakan acara dua
hari di carita, saya memutuskan untuk bergabung it.Unfortunately, tepat setelah kami
tiba, saya kehilangan saya flip-flops.Consequently, setiap kali saya pergi di luar
rumah, saya harus meminjam sepasang sandal dari someone.After sementara waktu,
saya telah cukup it.So, saat malam api unggun, sementara semua orang duduk
mengelilingi api dan makan perut mereka penuh dengan ikan bakar, aku meraih
pengeras suara di dekatnya dan berteriak, "siapa pun siapa yang memakai sandal saya,
silahkan BERIKAN MEREKA KEMBALI kepada saya 'Saat itu seseorang di antara
orang banyak duduk! berteriak ke arahku, "Dan memberi ME MY sandal kembali
sekarang, gadis!" Bagaimana memalukan!

      Sumber: C & S Majalah

      Vol: 4
      No: 30
      Februari-Maret 2005
          *

      Oleh: Mustakim XI.IS-1 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:35

      Balas

  41.

      Dua Pilot Buta

      Dua pilot buta keduanya mengenakan kacamata hitam, yang sedang menggunakan
anjing pemandu, dan yang lainnya adalah menyadap jalan sepanjang gang dengan
tongkat.

      Gugup tawa menyebar melalui kabin, tapi orang-orang memasuki kokpit, menutup
pintu, dan mesin start up. Para penumpang mulai melirik gugup sekitar, mencari
beberapa tanda bahwa ini hanyalah lelucon praktis sedikit. Tidak ada yang akan
datang.

      Pesawat bergerak lebih cepat dan lebih cepat di landasan dan orang-orang duduk
di kursi jendela menyadari bahwa mereka langsung menuju air di tepi bandara.
Seperti mulai terlihat seolah-olah pesawat akan bajak ke air, teriakan panik mengisi
kabin. Pada saat itu, pesawat lift lancar ke udara. Para penumpang santai dan tertawa
kecil malu-malu, dan segera semua mundur ke majalah pewaris t, aman dalam
pengetahuan bahwa ane pl berada di tangan yang baik.

      Di kokpit, salah satu pilot buta beralih ke yang lain dan berkata, "kau tahu, Bob,
suatu hari, mereka akan menjerit terlambat dan kita semua akan mati."

      Sourc: hanya cerita lucu

      vol: 22
      Tanggal: 04 marc 2009
          *

      Oleh: Chyntia Utami Fauziah KLS XI IS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:47
      Balas

  42.

      OUT Dalam Woods

      Beberapa pemburu di hutan di dep selatan ketika salah satu dari mereka jatuh ke
tanah. Dia tidak tampak bernapas, dan matanya yang digulung kembali di kepalanya.
Orang lain cambuk dari ponselnya dan panggilan 911. Dia terengah-engah untuk
operator, "Teman saya sudah mati!
      Apa yang bisa saya lakukan? "
      Operator, dengan suara tenang dan menenangkan, mengatakan, "Baiklah, ambillah
mudah. Saya dapat membantu. Pertama,
      l mudah pastikan dia mati "ada keheningan, dan kemudian ditembak pistol
terdengar.. Pemburu datang kembali di telepon "Ok.Now apa?".

      Majalah: C & S
      Volume: 6
      Nunber: 46
      Tanggal: Maret 2007
          *

      Oleh: Chyntia Utami Fauziah KLS XI IS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:55

      Balas

  43.

      ORANG TUA

      Dua anak-anak berbicara satu sama lain. Satu mengatakan, "Saya sangat khawatir.
Ayah saya bekerja dua belas jam sehari untuk memberi saya rumah yang bagus dan
makanan yang baik. Ibuku menghabiskan sepanjang hari membersihkan dan memasak
untuk saya. Saya khawatir sakit! "
      Anak lain berkata, "apa yang kau harus khawatir? Suara ke saya seperti Anda
tidak punya sesuatu perlu khawatir. "
      Anak pertama mengatakan, "Bagaimana jika mereka mencoba melarikan diri?"

      Sumber: C & S Majalah

      Vol: 7
      No: 54
      Augustus - September 2008
          *

      Oleh: Idha abralia ayu pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 9:59

      Balas
  44.

      ORANG TUA

      Dua anak-anak berbicara satu sama lain. Satu mengatakan, "Saya sangat khawatir.
Ayah saya bekerja dua belas jam sehari untuk memberi saya rumah yang bagus dan
makanan yang baik. Ibuku menghabiskan sepanjang hari membersihkan dan memasak
untuk saya. Saya khawatir sakit! "
      Anak lain berkata, "apa yang kau harus khawatir? Suara ke saya seperti Anda
tidak punya sesuatu perlu khawatir. "
      Anak pertama mengatakan, "Bagaimana jika mereka mencoba melarikan diri?"

      Sumber: C & S Majalah

      Vol: 7
      No: 54
      Augustus - September 2008
          *

      Oleh: Idha abralia ayu XI - IPA pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:00

      Balas

  45.

      Help! Aku terperangkap

      Pada suatu pagi Minggu, pacar saya dan saya jogging di Senayan. Itu begitu ramai
tidak hanya dengan orang-orang yang ingin joging, tetapi juga dengan vendor. Kami
berlari di trek beberapa kali, kemudian mengambil istirahat karena Iwas lelah. Kami
pergi ke salah satu tenda di warung "Soto Betawi 'dan duduk. Aku duduk di sana
sendirian sementara pacar saya memesan makanan. Tiba-tiba, sepeda mendekati
warung sangat cepat dan memukul tiang penyangga. tenda jatuh dan menutupi saya.
Semua orang tertawa pada saya, termasuk pacar saya. Aku mengabaikan rasa sakit
dan meninggalkan immediataly. Ifelt sehingga ashamad!
          *

      Oleh: andri Permadi XI-IS2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:07

      Balas

  46.

      cerita lucu saya adalah:

      Shop Lifter

      seorang wanita 80 tahun ditangkap untuk mengangkat toko. ketika dia pergi
hadapan hakim, ia bertanya, "apa yang kamu mencuri?"
      dia menjawab, "A dapat dari persik."
      hakim bertanya mengapa dia telah mencuri mereka dan ia menjawab bahwa ia
lapar.
      Hakim kemudian bertanya berapa banyak buah persik di kaleng.
      Ketika dia menjawab enam, hakim lalu berkata, "Aku akan memberikan enam hari
di penjara."

      Sebelum hakim benar-benar bisa mengucapkan hukuman, orang berbicara dan

meminta hakim jika ia bisa mengatakan sesuatu. Hakim berkata, "apa itu?"
      "Yang Mulia, aku suaminya. Dia juga mencuri sekaleng kacang polong. "

      Sumber:
      C'NS Majalah
      Volume 8 No 61
      Page: 36
      Tanggal: Januari-Februari 2009
          *

      Oleh: XI.IA Fitriana Dina pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:07

      Balas

  47.

      SD, sobatku Watson

      Sherlock Holmes dan dr.Watson pergi pada perjalanan berkemah, mendirikan

tenda mereka, dan jatuh tertidur. beberapa jam kemudian, Holmes membangunkan
sahabat yang setia.
      "Watson, lihatlah ke langit dan katakan apa yang kamu lihat." Watson menjawab,
"Saya melihat jutaan bintang." "Apa yang memberitahu Anda" Watson? Merenung
sejenak. "Astronomis berbicara, ia memberitahu saya bahwa ada jutaan galaksi dan
berpotensi milyaran planet. Astrologically, ia memberitahu saya bahwa Saturn ada di
Leo. Waktu bijaksana, tampaknya menjadi kira-kira seperempat terakhir tiga.
Teologis, itu jelas tuan ini adalah seluruh-kuat dan kami kecil dan tidak signifikan.
Meteorologically, tampaknya kita akan memiliki hari yang indah besok. Apa
memberitahu Anda? "
      Holmes terdiam sejenak, kemudian berbicara, "Watson, kau idiot, seseorang telah
mencuri tenda kita!".

      Sumber: Majalah C'N'S

      Vol: 6
      No: 46
      Tanggal: Maret 2007
          *

      Oleh: nurlaelah XI IPS 2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:11

      Balas
  48.

      Help! Aku terperangkap

      Pada suatu pagi Minggu, pacar saya dan saya jogging di Senayan. Itu begitu ramai
tidak hanya dengan orang-orang yang ingin joging, tetapi juga dengan vendor. Kami
berlari di trek beberapa kali, kemudian mengambil istirahat karena Iwas lelah. Kami
pergi ke salah satu tenda di warung "Soto Betawi 'dan duduk. Aku duduk di sana
sendirian sementara pacar saya memesan makanan. Tiba-tiba, sepeda mendekati
warung sangat cepat dan memukul tiang penyangga. tenda jatuh dan menutupi saya.
Semua orang tertawa pada saya, termasuk pacar saya. Aku mengabaikan rasa sakit
dan meninggalkan immediataly. Ifelt sehingga ashamad!

      Sumber: C n S Magazine

      Volume: 2

      Nomor: 33

      mounth & tahun: 13 Januari-Februari 2003

          *

      Oleh: andri Permadi XI-IS2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:12

      Balas

  49.

      Majalah: n C'S
      Volume: 2
      Nomor: 13
      Tanggal: 11 Oktober - November 2002

      Bersikap sopan

      Suatu hari, Bill dan Tom pergi ke sebuah restoran untuk makan malam. Segera
setelah pelayan membawa dua steak, Bill cepat mengambil keluar steak yang lebih
besar untuk dirinya sendiri. Tom tidak senang tentang itu dan berkata tajam, "Kapan
kamu akan belajar untuk bersikap sopan?"
      "Jika Anda memiliki kesempatan untuk memilih terlebih dahulu," jawab Bill,
"mana yang akan Anda pilih?"
      "Bagian yang lebih kecil, tentu saja."
      "Jadi apa yang kamu mengeluh tentang dari? Potongan kecil apa yang Anda
inginkan, bukan? "
          *

      Oleh: NUR'AINI XI.IS.2 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:12
      Balas

  50.

      Jangan Katakan Tidak

      Seorang manajer toko mendengar seorang petugas berkata kepada pelanggan,

"Tidak, Bu, kami tidak memiliki apapun untuk beberapa minggu sekarang, dan tidak
terlihat seolah-olah kita akan semakin dekat." Panik, manajer bergegas ke pelanggan
yang sedang berjalan keluar pintu dan berkata, "Itu tidak benar, Bu. Tentu saja, kita
akan memiliki beberapa segera. pada kenyataannya, kita menempatkan perintah untuk
itu beberapa minggu lalu. "

      Kemudian manajer menarik petugas ke samping dan menggeram, "Jangan,

pernah, tidak pernah ... bilang kita tidak memiliki sesuatu. jika kita tidak memilikinya,
katakanlah kita memerintahkan ini dan itu dalam perjalanan. Sekarang, utarakan
apakah itu dia inginkan? "
      "Snow."
          *

      Oleh: Ririn Dewi Winarti XI.IA pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:22

      Balas

  51.

      Jangan Katakan Tidak

      Seorang manajer toko mendengar seorang petugas berkata kepada pelanggan,

"Tidak, Bu, kami tidak memiliki apapun untuk beberapa minggu sekarang, dan tidak
terlihat seolah-olah kita akan semakin dekat." Panik, manajer bergegas ke pelanggan
yang sedang berjalan keluar pintu dan berkata, "Itu tidak benar, Bu. Tentu saja, kita
akan memiliki beberapa segera. pada kenyataannya, kita menempatkan perintah untuk
itu beberapa minggu lalu. "

      Kemudian manajer menarik petugas ke samping dan menggeram, "Jangan,

pernah, tidak pernah ... bilang kita tidak memiliki sesuatu. jika kita tidak memilikinya,
katakanlah kita memerintahkan ini dan itu dalam perjalanan. Sekarang, utarakan
apakah itu dia inginkan? "
      "Snow."

      Sumber:
      C'NS Majalah
      Volume 3 No 21
      Page: 36
      Tanggal: Januari-Februari 2004
          *
      Oleh: Ririn Dewi Winarti XI.IA pada tanggal 4 Maret 2009
      jam 10:24

      Balas

  52.

      CAR PRIVILEGES

      Ibu dan ayah baru saja diberi hak keluarga putri remaja mereka mobil. Pada
malam Sabtu dia pulang ke rumah sangat terlambat dari pesta.

      Keesokan paginya ayahnya pergi ke jalan masuk. Untuk mendapatkan newpaper

dan kembali ke rumah mengerutkan kening, pukul 11.30 pagi, tidur gadis berjalan ke
dapur, dan ayahnya bertanya, "Sayang apa waktu kau bisa masuk semalam?"

      "Ayah Tidak terlalu terlambat," raplied dia gugup.

      Camlmly, ayahnya berkata, thennoney. Aku harus berbicara dengan anak kertas
kertas puttingmy pertarungan di bawah ban depan mobil ".

      Sumber: C n 'S majalah

      Vol: 8
      No: 62
      Hal: 36
      Tanggal: Februari-Maret 2009
          *

      Oleh: Fitri Astuti XI.ipa.1 pada tanggal 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:38

      Balas

  53.

      MENJADI BERGUNA

      Sandy memulai pekerjaan asan konselor sekolah dasar dan dia sangat ingin
help.One hari saat istirahat ia melihat seorang gadis berdiri sendirian di salah satu sisi
lapangan bermain sedangkan sisanya dari anak-anak menikmati permainan sepak bola
di Ather tersebut.

      Sandy mendekat dan menanyakan apakah dia baik-baik saja.

      Gadis itu mengatakan ia.
      Beberapa saat kemudian, berpasir melihat bahwa gadis itu di tempat yang sama,
masih sendiri.

      Mendekati lagi, berpasir yang ditawarkan. "Anda ingin saya menjadi teman
Anda?".
      Gadis yang sitated, lalu berkata "OK".. Penebangan dia membuat kemajuan,
berpasir lalu bertanya, "kenapa kau berdiri di sini sendirian?" Karena, "gadis kecil itu
berkata dengan putus asa yang besar," aku penjaga gawang ! "

      SUMBER: MAJALAH C'nS

      VOLUME: 7
      NO. : 53
      PAGE: 19
      TANGGAL: Januari - Februari 2008
          *

      Oleh: Putra XI.IPA Hardiansah Tri pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:43

      Balas

  54.

      Thunder dan Lightning

      Seorang ibu yang bersangkutan mengambil putrinya di sekolah selama hari hujan.
Sepanjang hari angin melecut, bersama dengan guntur dan kilat. Dia khawatir bahwa
putrinya akan ketakutan.
      Ketika ia sampai putrinya di sekolah, dia melihat anak kecil itu berjalan bersama,
tetapi pada setiap kilatan petir, anak itu akan berhenti, menengadah ke langit, dan
tersenyum. Satu flash diikuti lain, setiap kali dengan menghentikan anaknya, melihat
seberkas cahaya dan tersenyum.
      Akhirnya, ibu menelepon dan bertanya, "Apa yang kamu lakukan!".
      Anaknya menjawab, "Aku tersenyum bagi Allah, Dia terus mengambil gambar
saya."

      Sumber: C n 'S majalah

      Vol: 7
      No: 54
      Tanggal: Februari - Maret 2008
          *

      Oleh: f4tboys pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 10:50

      Balas

  55.

      NAMA: TOPIK HIDAYAT

      Kelas: XI.IPA.1
      Tidak Abcen: 34
      No Induk: 6093

      - Pelupa -
      "George sangat pelupa," mengeluh manajer penjualan kepada sekretarisnya. "Aku
heran ia dapat menjual dan aku tidak yakin ia bahkan akan ingat untuk kembali."

      Saat itu pintu terbuka dan di file bounce George. "Kamu akan pernah menebak
apa yang terjadi! "Dia berteriak." Sementara aku sedang makan siang. Saya bertemu
orang tua coklat, yang belum membeli fromus apapun dalam lima tahun. Yah, kita
harus berbicara dan dia memberi saya ini setengah -! Juta order dolar "

      "Lihat?" Sighs manajer penjualan kepada sekretarisnya. "Saya bilang ranjang

melupakan Sandwich."

      Sumber: majalah c'ns

      Volume: 6
      No: 47
      Page: 26
          *

      Oleh: jozuna92 pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 11:05

      Balas

  56.

      Pelupa

      "George sangat pelupa," mengeluh manajer penjualan kepada sekretarisnya. "Aku

heran ia dapat menjual dan aku tidak yakin ia bahkan akan ingat untuk kembali."

      Saat itu pintu terbuka dan di file bounce George. "Kamu akan pernah menebak
apa yang terjadi! "Dia berteriak." Sementara aku sedang makan siang. Saya bertemu
orang tua coklat, yang belum membeli fromus apapun dalam lima tahun. Yah, kita
harus berbicara dan dia memberi saya ini setengah -! Juta order dolar "

      "Lihat?" Sighs manajer penjualan kepada sekretarisnya. "Saya bilang ranjang

melupakan Sandwich."

      Sumber: majalah c'ns

      Volume: 6
      No: 47
      Page: 26
          *

      Oleh: TOPIK HIDAYAT XI.IPA.1 pada tanggal 4 Maret 2009

      jam 11:18

      Balas

  57.
      100 Rupiah

      Suatu malam seorang pria berjalan pulang saat seorang pencuri melompat
kepadanya tiba-tiba. Man dan pencuri tertangkap dalam pergumulan hebat. Mereka
berguling tentang di tanah, dan pria tersebut menaruh sebuah perkelahian yang luar
biasa, sampai pada pencuri terakhir berhasil mendapatkan lebih baik dari dia dan
disematkan ke tanah. Pencuri kemudian melewati saku pria itu dan mencari ke
seluruh. hanya ada koin 100-Rupiah ia bisa meletakkan tangannya ke atas.

      Pencuri itu sangat terkejut mendengar ini bahwa ia bertanya orang itu mengapa ia
repot-repot berjuang begitu keras hanya untuk koin 100 rupiah.
      "Apakah itu yang Anda inginkan?" Kata pria itu, "pikir saya Anda setelah rupiah
satu-juta aku punya di sepatu saya!"

      Sumber:
      C'NS Majalah
      Volume 3 No 21
      Page: 36
      Tanggal: Januari-Februari 2004
          *

      Oleh: Ayu Fitriani XI.IA pada 4 Maret 2009

      jam 11:20

      Balas

          *

            keren cuy ..
                o

            Oleh: Mierha pada 18 Maret 2010

            jam 6:50

            Balas

  58.

      OH Underwear Underwear

      Hal ini terjadi suatu pagi ketika saya masih seorang anak di sekolah kelompok
bermain. Aku digunakan untuk mandi sendiri sementara ibuku sedang mempersiapkan
seragam saya. Lalu, saya akan memakai seragam, sarapan, dan pergi ke sekolah.
      Pada hari itu, salah satu pelajaran adalah latihan fisik. Kami anak-anak harus lari
di halaman sekolah di seragam kita. Sementara berjalan, tiba-tiba aku merasa celana
saya slip semua jalan ke bawah untuk sepatu saya! Aku memungutnya dan, untuk
mencegah mereka untuk jatuh ke bawah lagi, aku harus berpegang pada mereka erat-
erat setiap kali saya berlari. Aku benar-benar tidak tahu mengapa celana saya begitu
longgar.
      Sebuah s begitu aku tiba di rumah, aku berkata kepada ibuku tentang apa yang
telah terjadi di sekolah. Dia penasaran dan segera memeriksa celana saya. Kami
terkejut menemukan bahwa celana yang kupakai benar-benar ibu saya! Kami berdua
telah tertawa benar-benar baik.
      Ternyata ketika Ibu sudah mulai pagi saya seragam siap itu, dia masih mengantuk
dan membuka lemari pakaian yang salah; lemari pakaian saya dan ibu saya yang
berdampingan.

      sumber: majalah c'ns vol.7 54 Februari

      Maret 2008
          *

1.

Chiaaat….CRRACKK!
I’m a member of a martial art organization at school. one day, our organization
arranged a martial art demonstrasion for student to persuade them into joining our
organization. I was chosen as one of the permormers to perforn some of the martial art
movement. during my performance, when I was doing a high kick,suddenly I heard a
loud sound, “CRRACKK!!!” Oh my god ! my pants were torn apart at the buttock.
Everyone laughed at me. I could only stand there with a blood red face. next thing I
knew, I was running toward the toilet. Never again will I perform those movement in
front of an audience.

sources: C’NS Magazine

Vol.3 No.21 January – February 2004
*

By: Khaerunnisa XI.IPS.1 on March 3, 2009

at 6:04 am

Reply

2.

Kick My Ass During Flag Ceremony

 It happaened when I was still in junior high . that day, august 17, 1995, and I had
to be at school before 7 am but I woke up late. Everything was I rush that morning. I
skipped breakfast so that I wouldn’t be late at school. I had to perform in the
ceremony since I was a member of PASKIBRA. Because I rushed through everything,
I didn’t pay attention to what I wore to school. This proved to be an embarrasment for
me. During the flag ceremony, almost all student were laughing.i didn’t know that
they were laughing at me until one of my teachers told me that instead of wearing a
uniform, I wore my home short wich were in the same color as my uniform. What
made it worse, it had a “ Kick My Ass”sign written on its butt. I swear that was the
day that I won’t ever forget for the rest of my life.

Cn’s magazine vol.3 no.21 january-february 2004

*

By: susanti XI ips 1 on March 3, 2009

at 6:14 am

Reply

3.

SCORES
When Suzy got home, she told her dad that she got 100 poin in school. Her dad, “
Great! Let’s sit down and tell me more about it”. Suzy ” well, I got a 20 in math, a 30
in science and a 50 in writing!”

sources:CnS magazine vol.8 no.58 august-september 2008

*

By: Faradita XI ips 1 on March 3, 2009

at 6:17 am

Reply

4.

SAFETY FIRST

One day after class, there was a safety drill at my school- a technology vocational
school. the instructor showed the importance of wearing safety gear on a building site,
such as a helmet, safety shoes, and gloves. he also mentioned that we must always put
on our seatbelt in a car. then we all were given chance to try on those safety gadgets.
when the drill was over, my friends and I walked to the car of one of my friends.
We always go home together because we live in the same housing complex.
I sat in the front seat, Next to the Driver. I buckled the seatbelt, and I turned my
head facing my friends in the back.
“Don’t forget to buckle up, guys! Don’t forget, safety first!” to my surprise, their
exploded into laughter.
“Hey, come on guys. You know that that I’m right,” I said to defend myself.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re right. but you don’t have to wear a helmet in a car.!”
 My gosh! I forgot to take off the helmet I had beeb wearing. I opened the car door
and ran to return the helmet. With a red face, of course.
Ever since, my friends have teased me with the words: safety first

sources: C’NS Magazine

Vol.7 No.12 January-February 2007
*

By: Maya iin Andiyani XI.IPS.1 on March 3, 2009

at 6:22 am

Reply

5.

Stop Drinking That

when I was Travelling with my classmate, suddenly we felt very Thirsty, and then
wa gave a Soft Drink. but when i was drinking i found the taste of the soft drink is so
sour.
so Quickly i said to my friends” Stop Drinking That, because this soft Drink is
already to expired”

but, i heared a voice Shouting “you fools, this soft drink, expired not this year, but
next year”
so i ask to my friends” why the taste of the soft Drink is so sour? ”
so my friends said” the taste of the soft Drink is so sour because this is a New
Lime Flavour from this Soft Drink”

and after that i became so shy and also my friends Laught to me…:-)

Source: C’N'S Magazine

Vol.4 No. 30 February-March 2005
*

By: Siti Kurnia on March 3, 2009

at 6:26 am

Reply

6.

Pull, Not Push

A years ago, i visited my aunt in Jakarta. She showed me around and took me
shooping at some malls. I was really awestruck by the glamorous malls. While
windows-shooping with her, nature called. My aunt showed me the rest room. She
didn’t come in, she waited outside. I entered one of the cubicles. When I’d finished, i
tried to open the cubicles door. I pushed, pushed, and pushed again. Nothing
happened. I started to get panicky. I ttied to push again. Zero, I cried out my auntie’s
name several times. I heard her coming, but she sounded panicky, too. I said I
couldn’t open the door. Abruptly, in one fling, the door was wide open. I heard people
burst into laughter. Not knowing to what happened, I stepped out of the cubicle. Later
I found out that I was supposed to pull, not push the door. I wanted the ground to
swallow me up.

Source : C’N'S Magazine

Vol. 4 No. 30 February-March 2005
*

By: Indah Mentari kls : XI.IPS.1 on March 3, 2009

at 6:39 am

Reply

7.

Safety First

One day after class, there was a safety drill at my school – a technology vocational
school. The instructor showed the importance of wearing safety gear on a building
site, such as a helmet, safety shoes, and gloves. He also mentioned that we must
always put on our seatbelt in a car. Then we all were given a chance to try on those
safety gadgets.

When the drill was over, my friends and I walked to the car of one of my friends.
We always go home together because we live in the same housing complex. I sat in
the front seat, next to the driver. I buckled the seatbelt, and I turned my head facing
my friends in the back.

“ Don’t forget to buckle up, guys! Don’t forget, safety first!”

to my surprise, their exploded into laughter.
“ Hey, come on, guys. You know that I’m right, “ I said to defend myself.
“ Yeah, yeah. You’re right. But you don’t have to wear a helmet in a car!”

My gosh! I forgot to take off the helmet I had been wearing. I opened the car door
and ran to return the helmet. With a red face, of course.
Ever since, my friends have teased me with the words.

Source : C’nS Magazine

Vol. 8 No.61 February-March 2009
*

By: Tri Suciyanti Class : XI Science on March 3, 2009

at 12:05 pm

Reply

8.
 The Falling Fruits

Following a big fruit harvest in the area where i used to live, my parents brought
home a lot of duku, durian, and rambutan. There were so many of them, we still had
bags of fruits even after sharing them with neighbours. Having a date with friends, i
decided to bring her some. Carrying a plastic bag full of duku, i got on the bus. I was
running late so when i got to my bus stop, i quickly jumped off the bus. As i did so,
the plastic bag holding the dukus broke open and the small round fruits rolled all over
the street. Silly me, instead of leaving them alone, i went to all the trouble of picking
each and every duku off the street. Oncoming cars had to stop and wait for me to
collect the dukus. All the passengers were smiling broadly at my stupidity.
RIZKA, PALEMBANG

Sumber : CNS ENGLISH MAGAZINE Vol. 8 No 13

*

By: Frans G. XI IS 3 on March 4, 2009

at 2:10 am

Reply

9.

OUT In the Woods

*

By: NOVI INDRIYANTI XI IS_2 on March 4, 2009

at 5:33 am

Reply

10.

Funny Story

OUT In the Woods

A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the dep south when one of them falls
to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his
head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the
operator,”My friend is dead!
What can I do?”
The operator , in a calm and soothing voice,says,” Alright,take it easy. I can help.
First,l easy make sure he’s dead.”there is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The
hunter comes back on the line.”Ok.Now what?”

Magazine: C&S
Volume: 6
Nunber: 46
Date: march 2007
 *

By: NOVI INDRIYANTI XI IS_2 on March 4, 2009

at 5:43 am

Reply

11.

PIG STORY

Zelko was know for his arrogance. He thought himself the smartest guy arround
and looked down on everyone from the village head to the lowliest farmhand. one day
he was walking home dragging behind him a goat he’d bought at the market when he
met Dumba, the village idiot. As soon as Dumba spotted Zelko with the goat, he
yelled, “hey, what are you doing with that pig?” Zelko started to laugh and said
scornfully. “you fool! no wonder they call you the village idiot. This is a goat, not a
pig, you Dumbhead!”
Dumba gazed at him in bewilderment and said, “sorry, Zelko, but i wasn’t talking
to you. I was talking the goat!”

sumber: Cn’S English Magazine Vol.2 No.11

date : 11 oktober-november 2002
*

By: Permata Sari Pratiwi class:XI is 2 on March 4, 2009

at 5:48 am

Reply

12.

SEEING – EYE DOG

A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing -eye dog one day .They
come to a busy intersection and the dog ,ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming
bye on the street ,leads the blind man right out into the thick of the traffic .This is
followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately
not to run the pair down .The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the
sidewalk on the other side of the street and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat
pocket which he offers to the dog .
A passer by ,having observed the near fatal incident ,can’t control his
amazenement and says to the blind man ,”why on earth are you rewarding your dog
with a cookie ? He nearly got you killed !”the blind man turns partially in his
direction and replies ,”to find out where his head is,so i can kick his ass.”

SOURCE :

MAGAZINE : N’SCHOOL N’ SMART

VOLUME : 2
 NUMBER : 11
DATE : II OCTOBER – NOVEMBER 2002
*

By: LILIS SUSANTI CLASS XI.IPS .2 on March 4, 2009

at 5:50 am

Reply

13.

Funny Story

John’Reason

At a shop,John, a six-year-old boy, stood beside his mother who was making a
purchase. The shopkeeper told him to help himself to a handful of chocolate. But John
Shook his head.
“Why? What’s the matter?” asked the shopkeeper.”Don’t you like chocolate?”
“yes.”replied John.
“Well,go ahead and take some.”
John hesitated. Later the shopkeeper himself put a handful of chocolate in John’
pocket.
When they left the shop, his mother asked, “why didn’t you take the chocolate
yourself?”
“Because his hand is bigger than mine,” answered John.

Magazine : CONTACT

Volume: 7

Number: 40

date: NOVEMBER- DECEMBER 1999

*

By: SITI MA'RIFAH XI IS_2 on March 4, 2009

at 5:55 am

Reply

14.

Elementary, My Dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr.Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall
asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replies, “I see
millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
 Watson ponders for a minute. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that
Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell
you?”
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks, “Watson, you idiot, someone has
stolen our tent!”

Source : C&S Magazine

Vol. 6 No. 46 March 2007
*

By: Devi. Hermawati XI.IS-2 on March 4, 2009

at 5:56 am

Reply

15.

TREE GORILLA

A man walked into his back yard one morning and found a gorilla in a tree. He
called a gorilla-removal service, and soon serviceman arrived with a stick, a cihuahua
(a rabbit-size breed of dog), a pair of handcuffs, and a shootgun. “now listen
carefully,” he told the homeowner.” I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla
with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained cihuahua will then go right for
his,
uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to
protect himself, you slap on the handcuffs.”
“got it,” the homeowner replied. “But what’s the shootgun for?”
“if I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,” the man said,” shoot the cihuahua.”

sumber: Cn’S English Magazine Vol.2 No.11

Date : 11 oktober-november 2002
*

By: Faradilla class:XI is 2 on March 4, 2009

at 6:03 am

Reply

16.

apprentice

A prominent lawyer’s son dreamed of following in his father’s footsteps.After

graduating from college and law school with honors,he returned home to join his
father’s film,intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney. At the end
of his father’s office,and said, “father,father the Smith case,which you always said
would go on forever–the one you have been toiling on for ten years–in one single
day,I settled that case and saved the client a fortune”
His father frowned,and scolded him,” I didn’t say that it WOULD go on
forever,son. I said that it COULD go on forever,When you saw me toiling on that case
for days and weeks at a time, Didn’t it ever occur to you that I was being paid by the
hour?

sumber : Cn’S English magazine vol 8 No.61

date:31 January-febuari 2009
page:36
*

By: Chandra pangestu, XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 6:09 am

Reply

17.

NASTY BUG

Every night,Harold would go down to the liquor store,get a six pack,bring it at

home and drink it while he watched TV.One night as finished his last beer.the door
bell rang.he stumble to the door and found six foot cockroach standing there.The Bug
grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room,and left

The next night,after he finished his 3th beer,The door bell rang.
He Walked slowly to the door ad found the same six foot cockroach standing
there.The big bug punched him in the stomach,then left.

The next night,after he finished his 1st beer,the door bell rang again.the same six
foot cockroach was standing there. this time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind
the ear as he doubled over in pain.Then the big bug left.

the fourth night Harold didn’t drink at all.The doorbell rang.The cockroach was
standing there.the bug beat the snot out of Harold and left him in a heap on the living
room floor.

The following day, Harold went to see his doctor.He explained events of the
preceding four nights.”What can I do? he pleaded.

“not much”the doctors replied. “There’s just a nasty bug going around.”

http://www.funnystory.com
*

By: sarimaya X1.IS.1 on March 4, 2009

at 6:32 am

Reply
 18.

Lost and Never Found

My dad is a golf freak. Since he likes to ask me to accompany him playing golf,
I’m getting crazy about it, too. Besides playing it, I also like to join golf tourments. in
the last tournament i joined, some thing embarssing happened to me.

in the middleof the game, my ball landed in a mud pond. not wanting to give up, I
approached the pond and tried to find the ball with my club. After about five minutes.
I still couldn’t find my ball, but worse, i couldn’t pull out my club. it seemedto be
stuck on something. I waded into the pond and groped around with my hand, trying to
find the ball. Then igave up! I got out of the pond and found out that i hadn’t only lost
my ball and my club, but also my shoes. I was very embarassed because all the people
were watchung.!

Magazine : C’NS
Voleme : 31
Number : 17
date : juni 2004
*

By: Lucas Fernando XI IS 3 on March 4, 2009

at 6:42 am

Reply

19.

the trouble maker

while visiting a country school, the chairman of the board of education became
provoked at the noise the unruly students were making the next room.
angrily, he opened the door ang grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be
doing most of thetalking. He dragged the boys to the next room and stood him the
corner.
A few minutes later , a small boy stuck hi head in the room and pleaded,”
Please,sir,may we have our tacher back?”

mAGAZINE c’ns
volume 1
no 1
13 maret 2001
*

By: nizar novri .y. XI IS 3 on March 4, 2009

at 6:52 am

Reply
 20.

21.

OH BOY
My 2-year-old nephew and I were queuing at a cashier in a department store when
he tugged at my shirt with awful look on his face.

I asked him what was wrong and he very loudly said,”I think the lady in front of
us farted,cause her butt stinks!”Everyone around us heard it.

I was so ashmed. I apologized to everyone,especially to the lady in front of

me,and then pretended that I had forgotten something so we could just get uot of there
quickly!!!

Sumber:CNS english Magazine vol.4 No.29

Date: January-February 2005
page: 65
*

By: dini indri lestari XI.IS2 on March 4, 2009

at 6:55 am

Reply

22.

BEAUTIFUL ME

i like teasing my sister, one day. when she was busy cramming for exams, i wore
my mom’s earinng and put on her lipstick and started to tease my sister, i kept on
teasing her until my mom yelled at me “Catur, leave your sister alone! you’d better go
to the gas station to fill the tank of your dad’s motorcycle”

so off i went to the gas station . strangely, the people there were friendler than
they usually are. they all smiled at me some of them laughed together.

on my way home, i saw my sister so asked her, “hey sis is there something wrong
with me.?
it seems that everyone is so friendly and today. they all smiled and laughed at the
gas station ”
my sister, suddenly burst out laughing and said “of course they were . you’re still
wearing mom’s lipstick and earings”
“what?? Gosh!” i rode home in a hurry.

Source :
Magazine Cool n Smart
Volume: 7
 Number:55
Date: April – May 2008
*

By: yuLia inDaH PerTiWi XI IPS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 6:59 am

Reply

23.

BEST IN THE LAND

A group of hikers are led through the US wilderness by a guide . on the third day,
the hikers notice that they have been traveling in circles.
“we’re lost” one of the men complaints .
“i thought you said you were the best guide in the United States.”
“I am” the guide answer,
“but i think we may have wandered into Canada”

SOURCE

magazine : CNS
volume: 4
Date: 30 Maret2005
*

By: aDiTiYa Rukhiyat XI IPS 1 on March 4, 2009

at 7:08 am

Reply

24.

HUMAN BOWLING BALL

My schoolmates and i went alley. This was the first time i went bowling, so i tried
several different techniques. One of them was running into the lane, which seemed to
work for me. I used the techniques several times and i got good score. But i what
didn’t realize was that at a certain poin the lane was very slippery because the floor
was greased to help the ball go down the lane. I ran past the poin and ended up falling
on my butt. Both my feet flew from under me and i slid halfway along the lane.

Source: CNS Magazine

Volume: 4
Number: 29
Page: 65
Date: January-February 2005
*

By: Silvina Dewi Pratiwi XI.IS2 on March 4, 2009

 at 7:09 am

Reply

25.

Investigating a Terrible Accident

In a terrible accident there were no survivor except a monkey.Since there were no

witnesses,the police could not determine. A last,they turned the monkey.Because the
monkey seemed able to respond with gestures,the police officer decidedto
interrogate.it

“what were the people doing on the bus?”

The monkey shakes his head in a disapproving manner and a starts dancing
around, meaning a people were dancing and having fun”OK, but what else were they
doing?”

The monkey take his hand to his mouth as if holding a bottle. “Oh! they were
drinking, Huh?! OK, were they doing anything else?”

The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, mimicking
singing.

The chief loses his patience, “if they were having such a great time, who was
driving the bus then?”

The monkey cheerfully swings his arm around as if operating steering wheel.

Magazine ; C’nS
Volume ; 7
Number ; 55
Date ; April-may 2008
*

By: Wahyu Aprianto XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 7:14 am

Reply

26.

The Three Wishes

The bear and the rabbit didnt like each other very much. One day, while they were
walkinh through the woods, they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to them
and said:”Oh I dont often meet anyone in these parts. They were amazed that the frog
had talked to them. The golden frog told them,” mind you,when I do meet someone I
always give them three wishes. So you can have three wishes each.”
 The Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females.

“Done!”Said the frog.The rabbit,after thinking for a while, said,” I want a crash
helmed.”One appeared immediately and he placed it on his head. The bears thougt the
rabbit was a fool,but carried on with his second wish.
“I want all the bears in the neighboring forests to be females as well.” The frog
granted his wish. The Rabbit then said,” I want a motorcycle.” It appeared before him,
and he climbed on it and started revving the engine.

“Those were two of the stupides wishes I have ever heard,” The bear remarket
scronfully. He then made his final wish, which was that all the other bears in the
world were females as well,leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog
replied that it had been done,and they both turned to the rabbit for his last wish.

The Rabbit reffed engine, thought for a second, then said” I wish that Mr. Bear
here was gay!”and rode of as fast as he could.”

Source : C’Ns Magazine

Volume : 2
Number : 11
Made : 24 August 2007
*

By: Hilyatul Masun XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 7:16 am

Reply

27.

Please cheat quiet

This happened when was in high school. One Monday morning, the economics
teacher gave us a test.As usual, All the books were to be put inside our bags,which
were to put inside the desk drawer.
In the middle of the best,I got stuck, I couldn’t think of anything.When I looked to
the left, I saw my friend copying answers from a book. So I whispered to him to give
me the answer to one of the problems.He wrote down the answer on a small piece of
paper,crumpled it,and threw it to me.But it fell too far away from me.
I tried my best to reach the paper,but to no avail.Suddenly,CRASH! fell off my
chair! Everybody , including the teacher,Was Shockred to hear that noise.Then they
laughed so loudly till they cried.
Then my teacher approached me and whispered to me , “if you want to copy your
friend’s answer,don’t make such a noise ,” it was the most embarrassing experience
I’ve ever had.

Magazine : cool n smart

Volume : 7
Number : 55
Date : April – Maret 2008
 *

By: chairul anam XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 7:28 am

Reply

28.

An Unforgettable Birthday Party

A party is usually something fun to remember. Mine was the opposite. The
disaster occurred two years ago on my 14th birthday. My parents and my friends were
in the living room, celebrating my big day. I was getting ready to blow out all of the
candles on the cake. Being my usual clumsy self, I put my face right above the cake
before puffing with all my might. All of a sudden I had candle wax all over my face.
It was not too hot, but I was shocked, and I screamed. Looking at my face, everybody
laughed. I was so embarrassed. What a birthday party !

Source : C ‘N’ S Magazine

Vol.4 No. 30 February-March 2005
*

By: Ria Andrianingsih XI.IPS.2 on March 4, 2009

at 8:02 am

Reply

29.

PIG STORY

Zelko was known for his arrogance. he thought himself the smartest guy arround
and looked down on everyone from the village head to the lowliest farmhand. one day
he was walking home dragging behind him a goat he’d bought at tha market when he
met dumba, the viiage idiot. as soon as dumba spotted Zelko with the goat, he yelled,
“Hey, what are you doing with that pig?” Zelko started to laugh and said scornfully,
“you fool! no wonder the call you the village idiot. this is a goat, not a pig, you
dumbhead!”
dumba gazed at him in bewilderment and said, “sorry, Zelko, but wasn’t talking to
you. i was talking to the goat!”

Source : C ‘N’ S Magazine

vo : 2 no : 17
date : 11 Oktober – November 2002
*

By: Diar Iswari Arachim on March 4, 2009

at 9:05 am
 Reply

30.

HUMAN BOWLING BALL

My schoolmates and I went to a bowling alley.This was the first time I went
bowling,so I tried several different techniques.One of them was running into the
lane,which seemed to work for me.I used that technique several times and I got good
scores.But what I didn’t realize was that at a certain point the lane was very slippery
because the floor was greased to help the ball go dow the lane.I ran past that point and
ended up falling on my butt.Both my feet flew from under me and I slid halfway
along the lane!

Source: C’ns magazine

Vol:4
No:29
Page:65
Date:February 2005
*

By: wardi dedi yanto XI IS2 on March 4, 2009

at 9:07 am

Reply

31.

Super woman

I was hospitalized for a week. At lunch time, a hospital staff came to my room to
deliver my lunch. The woman put the lunch tray on my bed. The menu was porridge,
vegetable soup, beef and fruit. It wasn’t really appetizing but my doctor said that I
needed some protein to speed up my recovery. So I decide to eat the beef. I didn’t
know why but I couldn’t cut the beef with my spoon. Oh well…. Maybe I was too
week, I thought. I mustered my strength and tried again. Suddenly, the spoon handle
became crooked. I rang tha bell for a nurse. On the intercom, a female voice asked me
what she could do for me. I told her what happened. The nurse said that she would
come and bring me another spoon. The nurse came with two other nurse. One of them
teased me by saying, “Wow! Look at the spoon. Now that you’re strong enough to
bend the spoon, I think you will check out from this hospital real soon, superwoman.”
I could only smile weakly at the giggling nurse
*

By: adhitya setiawan_ XI ips 2 on March 4, 2009

at 9:07 am

Reply

32.
 Super woman
I was hospitalized for a week. At lunch time, a hospital staff came to my room to
deliver my lunch. The woman put the lunch tray on my bed. The menu was porridge,
vegetable soup, beef and fruit. It wasn’t really appetizing but my doctor said that I
needed some protein to speed up my recovery. So I decide to eat the beef. I didn’t
know why but I couldn’t cut the beef with my spoon. Oh well…. Maybe I was too
week, I thought. I mustered my strength and tried again. Suddenly, the spoon handle
became crooked. I rang tha bell for a nurse. On the intercom, a female voice asked me
what she could do for me. I told her what happened. The nurse said that she would
come and bring me another spoon. The nurse came with two other nurse. One of them
teased me by saying, “Wow! Look at the spoon. Now that you’re strong enough to
bend the spoon, I think you will check out from this hospital real soon, superwoman.”
I could only smile weakly at the giggling nurse

Source : Cn’s magazine

Vol : 6
No : 46
Date : February 2007
*

By: adhitya setiawan_ XI ips 2 on March 4, 2009

at 9:09 am

Reply

33.

The Christian Bear

There was a man who one day didnt feel like going to church so he decided to go
hunting instead.

He was out in the bush when he was aproched from behind by a bear. He dropped
his gun by accident but didnt bother to pick it up.

He ran for his life. Weaving in and out the trees with the bear on his trail. Curving
around a tree he triped over its root.

He looked up and the bear looked down. The bear was about to strike at him. He
put his hands together and prayed:

“Dear lord, Please let this bear be a christian.”

the bear sat down on its bum and held the mans hands, closed his eyes and said:
“Dear lord, Thankyou for the food that i am about to recieve”
*

By: nurlaelah on March 4, 2009

at 9:17 am

Reply
 34.

dinner a la carte

robbie decided to try out the new italian restaurant downtown.aftre cerfully
studying the menu with the strange sounding names, he told the waiter, “OK, I’ll have
Spimoni Vermatelli. “Where do you see that,sir?”
“Here, right at the top uf the menu.”
“oh, but that’s the name of the owner.”
embarrassed, Robbie decided to play it safe and ordered jist clear soup. soon the
waiter brought him empty plate. while waiting for his order to arrive, Robbie noticed
that the plate wasn’t properly dried, so he called the waiter again.
“waiter, look at this plate!”
“what’s wrong with it,sir?”
“can’t you see? why, it’s still wet!”
‘oh, but that’s your claer soup,sir.”

spource : C ‘N’ S Magazine

vol : 2
no : 33
date : 13 january – february
*

By: eka rahma wati .XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 9:21 am

Reply

35.

The Christian Bear

There was a man who one day didnt feel like going to church so he decided to go
hunting instead.

He was out in the bush when he was aproched from behind by a bear. He dropped
his gun by accident but didnt bother to pick it up.

He ran for his life. Weaving in and out the trees with the bear on his trail. Curving
around a tree he triped over its root.

He looked up and the bear looked down. The bear was about to strike at him. He
put his hands together and prayed:

“Dear lord, Please let this bear be a christian.”

the bear sat down on its bum and held the mans hands, closed his eyes and said:
“Dear lord, Thankyou for the food that i am about to recieve”
 source : http://www.onlyfunnystories.com
vol : 21 from left
date : 4 march 2009
*

By: nurlaelah on March 4, 2009

at 9:22 am

Reply

36.

Please cheat quiet

This happened when was in high school. One Monday morning, the economics
teacher gave us a test.As usual, All the books were to be put inside our bags,which
were to put inside the desk drawer.
In the middle of the best,I got stuck, I couldn’t think of anything.When I looked to
the left, I saw my friend copying answers from a book. So I whispered to him to give
me the answer to one of the problems.He wrote down the answer on a small piece of
paper,crumpled it,and threw it to me.But it fell too far away from me.
I tried my best to reach the paper,but to no avail.Suddenly,CRASH! fell off my
chair! Everybody , including the teacher,Was Shockred to hear that noise.Then they
laughed so loudly till they cried.
Then my teacher approached me and whispered to me , “if you want to copy your
friend’s answer,don’t make such a noise ,” it was the most embarrassing experience
I’ve ever had.
Magazine : cool n smart
Volume : 7
Number : 55
Date : April – Maret 2008
*

By: chairul anam XI-ips 2 on March 4, 2009

at 9:27 am

Reply

38.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old nephew started to cry and wanted to
come into the shower too. So I let him into bathroom. Then he wrapped himself in
toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera
and took a few shots. The results were so great that I had decided to make some
copies of one of them and attach them to my New Year cards.

Days later, a relative called, laughing hysterically, and suggested I take a closer
look at the picture. Puzzled, I started at the photo and was shocked to discover that in
addition to my nephew, my own reflection had been captured in the bathroom mirror-
wearing nothing but a camera.
Source:C n’s magazine
Vol :4
No:29
Page:65
Date:February
*

By: Ahmad fahrurozi XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 9:29 am

Reply

39.

PIG STORY

Zelko was known for his arrogance. he thought himself the smartest guy arround
and looked down on everyone from the village head to the lowliest farmhand. one day
he was walking home dragging behind him a goat he’d bought at the market when he
met dumba, the village idiot. as soon as dumba spotted zelko with the goat, he yelled,
“hey, what are you doing with that pig?” zelko started to laught and said scornfully,
“you fool! no wonder they call you the village idiot. this is a goat, not a pig, you
dumbhead!”
dumba gazed at him in bewilderment and said, “sorry, zelko,but I wasn’t talking
to you. I was talking o the goat!”

Source : C ‘N’ S Magazine

Vol : 2
No : 17
Date : 11 Oktober – November 2002
*

By: Diar Iswari Arachim . XI IPS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 9:33 am

Reply

40.

Lost Sandals

When one of the student organizations at my campus held a two-day event in

carita,i decided to join it.Unfortunately,right after we arrived,i lost my flip-
flops.Consequently,every time i went outdoors,i had to borrow a pair of sandals from
someone.After a while,i had enough of it.So,during a campfire night,while everybody
was sitting around the fire and eating their bellies full of grilled fish,I grabbed a
nearby bullhorn and shouted,”anyone who’s wearing my sandals,please GIVE THEM
BACK to me!’ At once someone among the seated crowd shouted back at me,”And
give ME back MY sandals now,girl!”How embarrassing!

Source : C&S Magazine

Vol: 4
No: 30
february-march 2005
*

By: Mustakim XI.IS-1 on March 4, 2009

at 9:35 am

Reply

41.

Two Blind Pilots

Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the
other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the
door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously
around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is
forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the
window seats realize they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport.
As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams
fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers
relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into t heir magazines, secure in
the knowledge that the pl ane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,”ya know, Bob,
one of these days, they’re gonna scream too late and we’re all gonna die.”

Sourc : only funny story

vol : 22
date : 04 marc 2009
*

By: Fauziah Chyntia Utami Kls XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 9:47 am

Reply

42.

OUT In the Woods

 A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the dep south when one of them falls
to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his
head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the
operator,”My friend is dead!
What can I do?”
The operator , in a calm and soothing voice,says,” Alright,take it easy. I can help.
First,
l easy make sure he’s dead.”there is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The
hunter comes back on the line.”Ok.Now what?”

Magazine: C&S
Volume: 6
Nunber: 46
Date: march 2007
*

By: Fauziah Chyntia Utami Kls XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 9:55 am

Reply

43.

PARENTS

Two kids are talking to each other. One says, “I am really worried. My dad works
twelve hours a day to give me nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole
day cleaning and cooking for me. I am worried sick!”
The other kid says, ” what have you got to worry about? Sound to me like you
don’t have anything to worry about.”
The first kid says, “What if they try to escape?”

Source : C&S Magazine

Vol : 7
No : 54
Augustus – September 2008
*

By: idha abralia ayu on March 4, 2009

at 9:59 am

Reply

45.

Help! I’m trapped

On a sunday morning, my boyfriend and I were jogging in Senayan. It was so

crowded not only with people who wanted to jog but also with the vendors. We
jogged around the track a few times, then took a rest because Iwas tired. We went into
one of the tents at the “Soto Betawi’ stall and took a seat. I sat there alone while my
boyfriend ordered the food. Suddenly, a bicycle approached the stall very fast and
whacked the buffer pole. The tent fell and covered me up. Everybody laughed at me,
including my boyfriend. I ignored my pain and left immediataly. Ifelt so ashamad!!!
*

By: andri permadi XI-IS2 on March 4, 2009

at 10:07 am

Reply

46.

my funny story is:

Shop Lifter

an 80-year-old woman was arrested for shop lifting. when she went before the
judge, he asked her,”what did you steal?”
she replied,”A can of peaches.”
the judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.
When she replied six, the judge then said,” I will give you six days in jail.”

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, somebody spoke up
and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, ” what is it?”
“Your Honor, i’m her husband. She also stole a can of peas.”

Source:
C’NS Magazine
Volume 8 No. 61
Page :36
Date : January-February 2009
*

By: Dina Fitriana XI.IA on March 4, 2009

at 10:07 am

Reply

47.

Elementary, my dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and dr.Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall
asleep. some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”Watson replies, “i see
millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson ponders for a minute.
“astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially
billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that saturns is in Leo. Time wise, it
appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the lord is
all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will
have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speak, “Watson, you idiot, someone has
stolen our tent!”.

Source : C’N'S Magazine

Vol : 6
No : 46
Date : March 2007
*

By: nurlaelah XI IPS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 10:11 am

Reply

48.

Help! I’m trapped

On a sunday morning, my boyfriend and I were jogging in Senayan. It was so

crowded not only with people who wanted to jog but also with the vendors. We
jogged around the track a few times, then took a rest because Iwas tired. We went into
one of the tents at the “Soto Betawi’ stall and took a seat. I sat there alone while my
boyfriend ordered the food. Suddenly, a bicycle approached the stall very fast and
whacked the buffer pole. The tent fell and covered me up. Everybody laughed at me,
including my boyfriend. I ignored my pain and left immediataly. Ifelt so ashamad!!!

Source : C n S Magazine

Volume : 2

Number : 33

mounth & years : 13 January-February 2003

*

By: andri permadi XI-IS2 on March 4, 2009

at 10:12 am

Reply

49.

Magazine : C n’S
Volume : 2
Number :13
Date : 11 oct – nov 2002
 BEING POLITE

One day,Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter
brought out two steaks,Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom
wasn’t happy about it and said sharply,”When are you going to learn to be polite?”
“If you had the chance to pick first,”Bill answered,”which one would you pick?”
“The smaller piece,of course.”
“So what are you whining about than? The smaller piece what you want,right?”
*

By: NUR'AINI XI.IS.2 on March 4, 2009

at 10:12 am

Reply

51.

Never Say No

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No,ma’am,we haven’t

had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any
soon.”Alarmed,the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the
door and said,”That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course,we’ll have some soon. in fact, we
placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled,”Never,never,never… say we
don’t have something. if we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now,
wht was it she wanted?”
“Snow.”

Source:
C’NS Magazine
Volume 3 No 21
Page : 36
Date : January-February 2004
*

By: Ririn Dewi Winarti XI.IA on March 4, 2009

at 10:24 am

Reply

52.

CAR PRIVILEGES

The mother and father had just given their teenage daughter family car privileges.
On saturday night she return home very late from a party.
 The next morning her father went out to the driveway. To get the newpaper and
came back into the house frowning, at 11:30 AM the girl sleeping walked into the
kitchen, and her father asked her, “sweetheart what time did you get in last night?”

“Not too late dad,” she raplied nervously.

Camlmly, her father said, thennoney. I’ll have to talk with the paper boy a bout
puttingmy paper under the front tire of the car”.

Source : C ‘n S magazine
Vol : 8
No : 62
Hal : 36
Date : FebRuaRy-March 2009
*

By: FiTri AstUti XI.ipa.1 on March 4, 2009

at 10:38 am

Reply

53.

BEING HELPFULL

Sandy began a job asan elementary school counselor and she was eager to
help.One day durring recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a
playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer on the ather.

Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.
A little while later,however,sandy noticed that the girl was in the same spot,still
by herself.

Approaching again,sandy offered.”would you like me to be your friend?”.

The girl he sitated,then said.”OK”.Felling she was making progress,sandy then
asked,”why are you standing here all alone?”because,”the little girl said with great
exasperation,”i’m the goal keeper!”

SOURCE : C’nS MAGAZINE

VOLUME : 7
NO. : 53
PAGE : 19
DATE : JANUARY – FEBRUARY 2008
*

By: Putra Tri Hardiansah XI.IPA on March 4, 2009

at 10:43 am

Reply
 54.

Thunder and Lightning

A concerned mother picked up her daughter at school during a rainy day. All day
the wind whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. She was worried that her
daughter would be frightened.
When she reached her daughter’s at school, she saw her small child walking
along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up at the sky,and
smile. One flash followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking at the
streak of light and smiling.
Finally, the mother called and asked, “What are you doing!”.
Her child answered, “I’m smiling for God, He keeps taking pictures of me.”

Source : C ‘n S magazine
Vol : 7
No : 54
Date : february – march 2008
*

By: f4tboys on March 4, 2009

at 10:50 am

Reply

56.

FORGETFUL

“George is so forgetful,” the sales manager complain to his secretary. “It’s a

wonder he can sell and I’m not sure he’ll even remember to come back.”

Just then the door files open and in bounces George. “You ‘ll never guess what
happened! “he shouts.” While I was at lunch. I met old man brown, who hasn’t
bought anything fromus in five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half
– million dollar order!”

“See?” Sighs the sales manager to his secretary.” I told you hed forget the
Sandwiches.”

Source : c’ns magazine

Volume : 6
No. : 47
Page : 26
*

By: TOPIK HIDAYAT XI.IPA.1 on March 4, 2009

at 11:18 am
 Reply

57.

100 Rupiah

One night a man was walking homewards when a thief jumped on him all of a
sudden. Man and the thief were caught in a terrific tussle. They rolled about on the
ground, and the man put up a tremendous fight, until at last the thief managed to get
the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through the man’s
pocket’s and searched him all over. there was only a 100-Rupiah coin he could lay his
hands on.

The thief was so surprised at this that he asked the man why he had bothered to
fight so hard just for a 100-Rupiah Coin .
” Was that all you wanted?” said the man, ” I thought you were after the one-
million rupiah I’ve got in my shoe!”

Source :
C’NS Magazine
Volume 3 No 21
Page : 36
Date : January-February 2004
*

By: Ayu Fitriani XI.IA on March 4, 2009

at 11:20 am

Reply

keren cuy..
o

By: Mierha on March 18, 2010

at 6:50 am

Reply

58.

uNderwEar oH uNderweaR

This happened one morning when I was still a kid in a play group school. I used to
take a bath by myself while my mother was preparing my uniform. Then, I would put
on the uniform, have breakfast, and go to school.
On that day, one of the lessons was physical exercise. We kids had to run in the
school yard in our uniforms. While running, I suddenly felt my panties slip all the
way down to my shoes! I picked them up and, to prevent them for falling down again,
I had to hold on to them tightly every time I ran. I really had no idea why my
underwear was so loose.
A s soon as I arrived home, I told my mother about what had happened at school.
She got curious and immediately checked my panties. We were astonished to find that
the underwear I was wearing was actually my mother’s! Both of us had really good
laugh.
Apparently when my mother was getting my uniform ready that morning, she was
still sleepy and opened the wrong wardrobe; my wardrobe and my mother’s were side
by side.

sOurcE : c’ns magazine vol.7 no.54 FeBruary-

MarcH 2008
*

By: vInieSa oCtaviRani xI soCial 3 on March 4, 2009

at 11:27 am

Reply

59.

FLORIST MISTAKE

On opening his new store, a man receives a bouquet of flowers. He becomes

dismayed on reading the enclosed card because it expresses “deepest sympathy”.
While puzzling over the message, his telephone rings. It is the florist, apologizing for
having sent the wrong card. “oh, its alright”, says the storeowner. ‘iam a businessman
and I understand these things can happen. “but”, add the florist, “I accidentally sent
your card to a funeral party. “well, what did it say?” asks the streowner.
“congratulations on your new location”, is the reply
*

By: rudi fajarudin on March 4, 2009

at 11:52 am

Reply

61.

We accept american express

A businessman calls a travel agent asking about the documents he needs in order
to fly to China.After a lengthy discussion about passports, the agent reminds him he
needs a visa. “Oh,no, I don’t. I’ve benn to china many times and never had to have
one of those.”
*
 By: fazri hadi saputra XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 1:06 pm

Reply

62.

Clever Customer

A customer sends an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a

great deal of money. Noticing that the customer hasn’t paid the previous bill, the
collections manager leaves a voice-mail for the customer, saying, “we can’t ship your
new order until you pay for the last one.”
the next day the collections manager receives reply voice-mail from the customer,
“Please cancel the order. we can’t wait that long.”

source :C`nS Magazine vol. 6 No. 45 month : January-february 2007

*

By: Nur cholis. A ----- XI IS 3 on March 4, 2009

at 1:16 pm

Reply

63.

TwO aNGry NEIghbORs

Two neighbors have been fighting eech other for years.one day bob buys a great
dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in bill’s yard.For one whole yard bill ignores
the dog.Next bob buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in bill’s yard.Still,
Bill doesn’t react.
After about a year of bob’s cow messing of bill’s yard,a container parks in front of
bill’s house.Bob runs over and demands to know what’s in the 18-wheeler.
“My new pet elephant,”bill replies solemly.

magazine:cOoL N’ sMarT
volume :7
number :55
date: :april may 2008

m.ayuvi
XI is 2
*

By: Muhammad AyUvy Laksana Putra XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 1:19 pm

Reply
 64.

We Accept American Express

A businessman calls a travel agent asking about the documents he needs in order
to fly to China.After a lengthy discussion about passports, the agent reminds him he
needs a visa.”Oh,no, I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have a
one of those.”
The agent double checks and sure enough, he stay requires a visa. When the agent
tells him this, the businessman says, “ Look, I’ve benn to China four times and every
time they have accepted my American express.”
*

By: fazri hadi saputra XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009

at 1:24 pm

Reply

66.

My poor Abang OjEg

can’t stand the traffic in Jakarta. That’s why i’m an ojek Lover’s. The ojek driver
near my place usually compete in taking me to school.One day the one who was
supposed to take me started the engine while i wasbout to climb onto the pillion
seat.But than i saw that the seat was dirty and a bit moist. So i took out some tissue
paper and started to wipe the seat.What happened next left me laughing for more than
half and hour: The ojeg driver speed away.thinking that i was already sitting behind
him! The rest of the ojeg driver also laughed their heads off.from that day on ,this
poor ojeg driver has become the target of his comrades’regular joke,”don’t forget
your passengger.

magazine:C’n S magazine
volume: 7
No 56 may-june 2008
*

By: Sri Setya NiNgsih XI IS 1 on March 4, 2009

at 1:40 pm

Reply

68.

The Bus Incident

 One day I took a bus to go to my friends house. the bus was fairly full, so i stood
at the back of the bus. while i was standing, i saw a cute girl staring at me at she
moved towards me. i became a bit embarrassed, thinking she might fancy me. She
stood next to me and whispered that my fly was open, i was so Embarrassed, i got off
the bus without even thinking the girl

Source : C’N'S Magazine

Vol. 4 No. 30 February-March 2005
*

By: Nur Azizah XI IS 1 on March 5, 2009

at 5:41 am

Reply

69.

source : CNS magazine.vol 7 NO.49 july-agust 2007

ZIPPER INCIDENT

One morning, my brother and I rode with our father halfway to the office. when
we got to the pancoran area,which is my usual drop-off zone, I got out and started to
cross streetto get on the bus when suddenly I heard a voice on a loudspeaker,
“MBAK…MBAK…!!” I looked around and saw a policeman becknowing to me.
Well, OK,the Pancoran street is really wide. So,maybe he actually needed that
loudspeaker. But why? What wrongs with me? was it because i didn’t use the zebra
cross? I was so scared, but I came up to him ask with an innocent face and in the
gentle voice i could produce, “Yes, Sir?” The policeman said,”So you wont be
embarrassed later…” The loudspeaker was still on!! His voice echoed through the
whole street.
Everyone instantly looked in our direction, even those standing far, far away from
us. And then he countinued, “You forgot to zip up your skrt.” Luckily, he didnt say
that the last sentence on the loudspeaker. Of course I couldn’t zip up my skirt under
those watchful eyes, so I just covered its back with my big bag. OH, GOSH!! What a
bad start…!!!!!!
*

By: LINDA LISTIA XI.SOS.3 on March 5, 2009

at 5:42 am

Reply

70.

Bye-Bye Transjakarta

The other day my buddies and i decided to take the Tansjakarta bus to Blok M.
After buying the tickets, we had to wait at the bus shelter. We waited and waited, but
the bus didn’t show up. My friends surely had more patience and discipline than i did.
At the head of two neat lines, they stood right before the sliding doors ready to get on
the bus as soon as it arrived. And what did i do? i sat on one of the benches in the
shelter, absorbed in reading a newspaper. More passengers came and stood behind my
buddies, but the bus was nowhere to be seen. I was so engrossed in the newspaper that
i didn’t pay attention to may surroundings. The bus came and the queuing passengers
had begun entering the vehicle. As my buddies and the other passengers jostled each
other to get on the bus, my pals kept shouting my name. I made a dash for the bus, but
it was too late. The bus had closed it’s doors. Icould only smile meekly at my
departing, still shouting buddies and a horde of sympathetic faces looking at me from
inside the bus. Ihad to catch the next bus alone to get to Blok M. What a journey!

Source: C’ns magazine

Volume: 6
Number: 46
date: march 2007
*

By: Agustina haryanti XI IS 2 on March 5, 2009

at 5:42 am

Reply

71.

The Three Wishes

The bear and the rabbit didn’t like each other very much. One day, while they
were walking through the woods, they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to
them and said: ” Oh, i don’t often meet anyone in these parts”. They were amazed that
the frog had talked to them. The golden frog told them, ” Mind you, when i do meet
someone i always give them three wishes. So you can have three wishes each”.
The bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females.
“Done!” said the frog. The rabbit, after thinking for a while, said, ” I want a crash
helmet. ” One appeared immeditely, and he placed it on his head. The bear thought
the rabbit was a fool, but carried on with his second wish. ” I wany all the bears in the
neighboring forests to be females as well “. The frog granted his wish. The rabbit then
said, ” I want a motorcycle.” It appeared before him, and he climbed on it and started
revving the engine.
” Those were two of the stupidest wishes i’ve ever heard,” the bear remarked
scornfully. He then made his final wish, which was that all the other bears in the
world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog
replied that it had been done, and they both turned to the rabbit for his last wish.
The rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said: ” I wish that Mr.
Bear here was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could!

magazine : CnS
Volume : 2
No : 11 (11 November 2002)

Nama : Kartina Sari

 Kelas : XI.IPS.3
*

By: Kartina Sari XI.IPS.3 on March 5, 2009

at 5:47 am

Reply

72.

Miss,Miss…..Mister?

Ilike to wear my hair long. several months ago, i was walking from school and a
car pulled over right next to me. And then I heard a guy’s voice asking me, ” hay,
sexy! whats your phone number?” I continued walking with my head down, thinking
that he was just being a jerk. Then he said, “please babe i want you to be my
girlfriend.” I looked up, pulled the hair a way from my face and said, ” What?” the
guy looked horrified and said to his friend in the car, “gosh! it’s a guy!” and then they
sped off like a bat out of heel.

source: C’ns magazine

volume: 3
number: 21
date: january- february 2004