Teknik Observasi dan Bahasa Tubuh dalam Konseling

Teknik Observasi dan Bahasa Tubuh dalam Konseling - Dalam artikel ini Anda akan belajar
mengenai apa itu observasi secara mendalam, observasi pada tubuh atau yang biasa disebut
bahasa tubuh dalam konteks konseling. Terdapat tulisan yang akan menambah ilmu konseling
anda di artikel ini dan video yang berkaitan dengan bahasa tubuh.

Observasi pada Bahasa Tubuh Manusia

1. The absence of emotion as important as the presence of emotion
TL Non-Verbal Interpretasinya
Cepat, tegak berjalan Percaya diri
Kacak pinggang Siap siaga, agresi
Duduk dengan menyilang, kaki menendang perlahan Bosan
Duduk dengan kaki terbuka Terbuka, releks 
Tangan menyilang di dada Defensif, berusaha melindungi diri
Berjalan dengan tangan di kantong, bahu
membungkung Kekesalan
Tangan di pipi Berfikir, mengevaluasi

2. Micro expression (Paul Ekman) hanya 0,001 dari penduduk dunia. 

TL Non-Verbal Interpretasinya
Menyentuh, sedikit menggaruk hidung Penolakan, ragu, berbohong
Menggaruk/menggosok mata Ragu, sangsi, ketidakpercayaan
Marah, frustasi, ketakutan/antisipasi akan
Tangan terkunci di belakang sesuatu yang akan terjadi
Ketakutan/antisipasi akan sesuatu yang akan
Pergelangan kaki terkunci terjadi
Kepala ditopang tangan, mata melihat ke
bawah Kebosanan
Menggosok tangan Antisipasi
Duduk dengan tangan disilang di belakang
kepala, kaki menyilang Percaya diri, perasaan superior
Posisi terbuka seperti pohon palem Tulus, terbuka, lugu
Mencubit batang hidung, mata tertutup Evaluasi negatif

3. Micro expression bisa dilihat kurang dari 1/5 detik 

TL Non-Verbal Interpretasinya
Jari mengetuk, ataupun membuat gerakan
drum Tidak sabar
Tertarik, sikap otoritatif, tekad , ketetapan
Steepling fingers hati
Mengulung-gulung rambut Kurang percaya diri, merasa tidak aman
Tilted head Ketertarikan
Memegang/membelai dagu Berusaha untuk membuat keputusan
Melihat ke bawah, wajah berpaling Sangsi atau tidak percaya
Menggigit jari Merasa tidak aman, cemas
Menarik-narik telinga Keragu-raguan

image source: facilitationfirst(dot)com

Observasi pada Kontak Mata

Kontak mata yang cukup lama adalah wajar, ketika:

Objek yang dilihat jauh 

Mendiskusikan hal-hal yang umum 
Tertarik dengan orang lain 
Berusaha mendominasi dan mempengaruhi orang lain 
Ekstrovert 
Tergantung pada orang lain dan orang tersebut belum memberikan respon 

Seseorang akan kurang melakukan kontak mata, ketika:

Posisi mereka yang sangat dekat 

Mendiskusikan hal yang sangat rumit dan personal 
Tidak tertarik dengan reaksi orang lain 
Tidak suka orang lain 
Orang lain statusnya lebih tinggi 
Introvert 
Gangguan dalam penglihatan 

Contoh dalam keseharian:

Ketertarikan: orang yang saling menyukai akan menatap lama dibanding yang lain 
Agresif: kontak mata yang berkepanjangan; ‘mata laga mata’ 
Malu dan kesedihan: menghindari kontak mata 
Kegairahan: mata bergerak cepat seperti melakukan scanning 
Panic: mata terpaku, terbuka lebar, seolah-olah tidak ingin kehilangan gerakan sekecil apapun
yang bisa membahayakan 
Marah dan kebencian: eyes narrow, often more than slit 
Kesedihan: mata tertunduk melihat ke bawah, berkurang kontak mata 

Ekspresi wajah Konseling

1. Kebahagiaan

Pipi naik, kerutan di sekitar mata, pergerakan dari otot di sekitar mata

2. Kesedihan

Ujung bibir turun, melihat kebawah, pangkal alis naik, kelopak mata atas terjatuh, mata
kehilangan fokusnya 

3. Marah
Pandangan tajam, tertuju langsung kepada hal yang membuat marah, dagu terangkat,
gemerutuk gigi, alis turun secara bersamaan, merapatkan bibir. 

4. Takut

Mata terbuka lebar, kelopak mata atas terangkat, kelopak mata bawah menegang, mulut
terbuka, dan tertarik sedikit ke arah daun telinga, gemetar yang berdampak pada wajah dan
tubuh 

5. Terkejut

Alis mata terangkat dan tertarik secara bersamaan, mata terbuka lebar, mulut terbuka 

6. Penghinaan

Ujung bibir mengencang dan naik hanya di satu sudut 

Gerakan Kepala dalam Konseling

Gerakan kepala bisa digunakan untuk berbagai macam tujuan, yaitu: mengindikasikan sikap,
pengganti bicara, mendukung apa yang dikatakan, kontradiksi dari apa yang dikatakan

Angkuh ataupun agresif (kepala terangkat tinggi, sedikit agak miring ke belakang) 
Kepala yang lebih rendah, sikap tunduk, kerendahan hati ataupun depresi. 
Posisi kepala yang dekat ketika berbicara melambangkan kedekatan emosional ataupun
intelek. 
Pada posisi duduk biasanya kepala yang disanggah dengan ibu jari dan jempol
melambangkan ketertarikan secara intelektual 
Kepala tegak: postive dan netral, 
Kepala di miringkan: menunjukkan ketertarikan atau rasa suka, 
Kepala turun: negatif dan menghakimi 
Kepala ke depan menjauhi bahu lambang ancaman kepada lawan; 
Kepala miring , mata dikedipkan sebelah dan alis naik melambangkan bersahabat dan
tertarik 
“Pain in the neck”+ melihat ke bawah lambang dari berbohong. Kalau memukul leher
belakang dan “pain in the neck” lambang dari frustasi atau marah. 

Gerakan Tubuh dalam Konseling 

Mengangkat ke dua bahu dan/atau satu bahu: I don’t care/ leave me alone 
Dada yang membusung : sombong 
Menggosok tangan secara bersamaan: mengharapkan seseuatu yang bagus/ baik. 
Jempol dan jari yang digosok: berharap duit 
Tangan yang mencengkram/ mengepal: frustasi 
Tangan Membentuk menara: percaya diri, tangan membentuk menara dengan posisi tangan di
atas: memberikan pendapat. Kalau diikuti dengan posisi kepala agak ke belakang artinya
arogansi, tangan membentuk menara, dengan posisi di bawah: mendengarkan. 
Jempol yang ditampilkan: melambangkan dominan, superior ataupun agresi. Contoh: orang
lagi pdkt, baju baru, manager pada bawahan. Pada kasus dimana bahasa tubuh tidak sejalan
dengan apa yang dikatakan. Contoh: pengacara mengatakan: “ menurut pendapat saya yang
mulia…” sambil menampilkan jempol, kepala agak ditarik ke belakang, melihat ke bawah
hidungnya, melambangkan sombong dan tidak tulus.

Gerakan Tangan Ke Wajah

Menutup mulut : Hal ini mengindikasikan seseorang berbohong. Terkadang di cover dengan
pura-pura batuk atau menguap. Kalau lawan bicara yang menutup mulutnya, maka dia merasa
kamu sedang berbohong. 
Menyentuh hidung: indikasi berbohong. 
Menggosok mata: mebelokir kebohongan, keraguan. 
Menyentuh telinga, tatapan menghindar, senyum palsu dengan gigi yang dikepal: tidak tulus.
Menyentuh telinga mengindikasikan sudah cukup mendengarkan keterangan yang ada, atau
dia mau berbicara. 
Menyentuh leher atau ujung telinga: tanda ragu atau tidak yakin. Penelitian menunjukkan
ketika seseorang berbohong akan memunculkan sensasi geli di sekitar wajah dan leher dan
dibutuhkan untuk menggaruknya untuk menghilangkan rasa geli. 
Menggaruk leher atau menarik kerah mengindikasikan bohong, frustasi, marah Tangan di
sekitar mulut: merasa tidak aman atau manifestasi dari dalam diri seseorang untuk jaminan. 

Lainnya
Jenis salaman: Salaman dengan posisi tangan di bawah: submisif, salaman dengan posisi
tangan di atas: dominan, salaman ‘Dead fish’: karakter yang lemah. Biasanya orang yg
melakukan ini tidak sadar.

Berikut tambahan bacaan yang disadur dari tulisan Mitchell, K:

What are observation skills? Observation skills are when you observe your own behavior and
clients’ behavior, anticipate individual and multicultural differences in nonverbal and verbal
behavior (Allen E. Ivey, Mary Bradford Ivey and Carlos P Zalaquett, 2010). Here are a few
things that counselors should observe while interviewing clients. Counselors should observe
attending patterns of client behavior, observe nonverbal behavior, observe verbal behavior,
observe conflict, incongruence’s and discrepancy, and observe individual and multicultural
issues in nonverbal behavior, counselor also need to encourage the client, paraphrase what
the clients is saying and summarize.

The reason why counselors should observe attending patterns of clients’ behavior is because
improving your observation skills is by noting your own and client’s style of attending
behavior (Allen, Mary, Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). For example, when I do interviews at my job
most of my clients, break eye contact, change their body language and change their voice of
content. They change their voice of content because they trying to sound proper so they can
get the job. Also, when I interview, my clients give me that eye of confusion, when I ask
them why do you think you are qualified of doing this job and what can you bring to the to
this company. By observing these attending behavior of patterns of clients can help us as
interviewers to improve on our observation skills.
The reason why observing nonverbal behavior is important is because nonverbal behavior can
tell you if the clients are discomfort in what you are saying. For instance, I asked my friend,
why she always shake when she is around someone new. She would say “because she is
nervous around people she do not know. Also, most of the times hand and aim gestures tell
you and the client how you are going to organize things. Random discrepant gestures may say
that your clients are confused, for instance, person seeking control or organizing things may
move hands and arms in straight ( Allen, Mary and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). On the other
hand, smooth, flowing, gestures, those in harmony with the others saying that you and the
clients is connecting together. These gestures let you be more relaxed with people you are
around.
Counselors should observe verbal behavior because language is basic to interviewing and
counseling (Allen, Mary, and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). For instance, selective attending
behavior, most clients like to talk about what counselors are interested in hearing (Allen,
Mary, Carlos Zalaquett, 2010) We as counselors need to focus on the major issues of the
client. For example, if a client is talking about her friend is beating her up every day; she will
need to give me as a counselor concrete example, so we can work on that specific issue. This
is why verbal behavior is important.

Also, counselors should observe key words that the clients are using. For example, if you
listen carefully to clients, you will find that certain words appear again and again in the
description of the situation (Allen, Mary and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). I believe keywords can
help a counselor figure out the picture of what the client is telling us as the counselors. Also
verbal underlining through vocal emphasis is another helpful clue in determining what is
most important to client who you are counseling (Allen, Mary and Carlos Zalaquett,
2010).This is why it is important to listen to keywords of what the clients are telling you.

It is also important to observe conflict incongruence’s and discrepancies. Out of awareness of

verbal and nonverbal behavior will come an increased the ability to notice conflicts of many
types. (Allen, Mary, and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). This will help counselors to observe issues
that can give them deeper understanding is the client is real in the situation they are telling
the counselor. For instance, my friend always tells me that her boyfriend is hitting her all the
time, but she is always saying he is the best boyfriend in the world. Discrepancies can tell
you that your client is contradicting themselves in the in the interview.

Also, the “I” statements and other statements is important while you are counseling the client.
We as counselors need to be aware of what is happening in and for our clients as well as learn
what occurs in their relationships with others and in their families and communities (Allen,
Mary and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). For instance, my friend would always tell me that it
somebody else fault instead of blaming herself for the situation. Counselors need to help
individuals look at their issues, but also to help them consider how these concerns relate to
others and the surrounding environment ( Allan, Mary, and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). An “I”
statement can serve as helper to improve somebody lives. For instance, there is a guy who
was doing drugs every week, we as counselors need to tell him to say he is a drug addict, for
part of his recovery of drugs. The “I” statement can be helpful and hurtful in a counselor
session.

Next, we as counselors need to encourage, paraphrase and summarize to understand what the
clients are talking about. The reason why we need to encourage clients is because to help
them continue talking. For instance, if girl say that her boyfriend and her are improving their
relationship by going out every weekend, we need to say that is very nice to hear. We also
need to paraphrase because we need feedback of what has been said. For example, if we as
counselors daze off a little in the counselor session, we need to put in our own words and
clients main word when we are paraphrasing to the clients. Summarization we help you and
the client over a longer time span. Summarization may be used to begin or end an interview,
to move to a new topic, or to clarify complex issues. (Allen, Mary Carlos Zalaquett, 2010)
Encouraging, paraphrasing and summarizing can be helpful in counselor sessions.
Also, counselors need to recognize the reflection of feeling in the client. The first task in
eliciting and reflecting feelings is to recognize the emotional words that are expressed by the
clients ( Ivey, Ivey, Zalaquett). For example, my friend always use to tell me when he was
younger that he use to cry all the time and feel sad about when his father and his mother
always get into an argument. There are also many unspoken feelings expressed in client’s
statements (Ivey, Ivey, Zalaquett). For instance, my friend not only would express his
emotion by words, but he will express them by body language, such as, body tense and anger.
Body language can tell you a lot about a person in general because it says it all. Reflection of
feeling of the clients can help their emotional life more clearly and counselors could figure
out how to handle the situation.

Finally, as counselors observing attending patterns of the client behavior is important because
it would help you know your client behavior more after more sessions. Observing nonverbal
behavior is important because it tells you if the client is comfortable in what you are saying.
Also, by encouraging your client can help the client tell their story more effective. By
paraphrasing the client story you can effectively give the client feedback in whatever
situation the client is going through. By during all the key steps, I believe counselors would
know more about their clients and develop a better and long lasting relationship with their
clients.